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Show Tom Sims Says i . Genoa man onco proved the world was round, but the Genoa conference Is trying to prove it is square Senate favors the bonus; but the 'doughboys haven't the dough yet. Perhaps we could cut our navy j down to three days a week. From the pictures, It muet be the I Atlantic City bored walk If we ever make peace with Ger i many again let's do It C. O. D They say liquor traffic on the Canadian Cana-dian border is heavy. Wonder if it Is going or coming' Will Hays has stopped the Arbuckle pictures, so some people think he has earned his big Halary. A loaf a day keeps the coal supply a way . From his reputation aa a killer, Gen Semenoff's name must be pronounced See-men off. The modern wise men of the yeast are home brewers After their argument, Mr Tumulty, author of "Wilson as I Knew Him." has decided that he didn't know him so well. The hold up business Isn't as big a rrime as the business hold up April seems to come in like a duck aud go out like a fish. Suppose ihe man who committed 350 burglaries for his wife had been this man with 13 wives" The itch" in Tchltrherin e name is like the itching palm The day may come when there aro i no bootleggers; but it doesn't look like i i be night ever will. Great thing about the new trackless street cars is they can dodge autos He who gets his start at the race track is often finished there A movie kiss 'asis 50 seconds. Their .marriages, however, often last much longer than this Rivers and creeks are having their ups and downs. Proposed airplane line will make if possible to be robbed in Chicago one morning and shot in New York that afternoon. The early bud doesn't get the sleep Busyness is business. Mone can't do everything; but It gives you time to do everything yourself. your-self. Colleges will eventually learn that studies are preventing them from getting get-ting more students. Sometimes we Ihink it is better to be able to run like Paddock than to fight like Dempsey If they hae no coal strikes in the next world It will be heaven. Be friendly with the people you know If ii wasn't for them you would be a total stranger Wonder what a bald headed man thinks about while shaving. There will be no unemployed by fifcll," Myi a banker This is great news for the college seniors. Pretty soon the farmers will be Manning picnics to make It rain. Among those too busy for a vaca j non. bootleggers lead the list The objection lo throwing cold water is. It dampens the enthusiasm This ghost, seen by a prominent race horse man was probably nothing j but the ghost of a chance Our government plans to live be ond our means again next year. All this silence coming from Patagonia Pata-gonia Indicates they have found the plesiosaurus When a man drops dead In Philadelphia Philadel-phia they don't blame him a bit A bachelor's main troubles are that he has no wife lo blame for them The uppn class isn't so uppish When it gets on its uppers Fine tiling nbout a 16 year old flapper flap-per is she will outgrow ir 20 years from now when she is 25 In the annual race between weeds and vegetables the weeds are leading by a few inches Judge says" a man can marry on $100 per month. He can If she doesn't know about it. Perhaps the St, Louis man named his baby Radio because you can hear it so far away. Every rat costs this country $1.82 per year; but lBn't worth It A wife's affections are never stolen when kept where they belong. "Storm Sweeps Atlantic City" headline. head-line. But there isn't much to blow about on a bathing beach. Now that they make love by radio there's some fast sparking. When business is slow It is a good idea to get after It Men who think they know all don't Know all they think. You can save daylight by using it, Reading the new tariff Is like trying to unscramble eggs May 14 is Mother's day Payday is Father's day After a man buys his firet lot he feels as if he owned the earth. Compliments don't last long unless you return them About the most popular person on earth is a near-sighted chaperone. Too much money goes to a man's head and a woman's back. Side-stepping never get you to the front. People who go too far have a hard time staging a comeback Flappers dress for speed and com fort. |