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Show JUST FOR FUN Humor of the Law. The negro boy was up for the fifth time on a charge of chicken stealing. This time the magistrate decided to appeal to the boy's father. "Now, see here Abe," said he to the negro, "this boy of jours has been up In court so many times for stealing chlckeus that I'm tired of seeing him here." "Ah don't blame ou, sah," returned the father "Ah's tired o" seeing him here, too ' "Then why dont you teach him how to act? Show him the right way and he won't be coming here." "Ah has showed 'Im de right way, sah," declared the old man earnestly. "Ah has suttenly showed 'lm de right way, but he somehow Keeps getting caught comln 'way wld dose chickens'" chick-ens'" Centrul Law Journal. How He Escaped. "I understand," says the special correspondent cor-respondent of tho long, lank, bowhls-kered bowhls-kered native of Adams county, O., "that you are tho only man In your section who was not Indicted for accepting ac-cepting a bribe for his voto at the last election." "That's light, sir," replied the native. na-tive. y ' "Would you object to telling mo your icasons for not taking a bribe? You see, you being the only man who didn't sell his vote, anything you have to say will be " "I didn't know a thing about 'om buyln' votes. I was in Logan county vlsltln my sick son an' missed tho election." Chicago Post. Distinctly Tall. "You seo thlm mountains!1'1 ox-clalmed ox-clalmed tho Jaunting car driver. The tourist admitted that he did seo them. "Thim's the highest mountains In Olr-land." Olr-land." "You don't say so," said the tour-isL tour-isL "Oi do, sir, indado! An' you soo thlm mountains." went on the driver, flicking the whip to another range. '"Thim's tho highest In tho wurruld!" The touilst expressed his Incredulity. Incredul-ity. "Surely not!" he protested. "Shnre, It's true." retorted the driver, driv-er, bridling, "cxceptln' av cooree, for thlm In furrln parts." Answer.. The Canny Scot. The canny Scot wandorod Into the pharmncy. "I'm wanting thrccpenn 'orth o laudanum," ho announced. "What for?" asked tho chemist, suspiciously sus-piciously ."For twopence," responded tho Scot at once. Tit-Bits. Vegetable Fancy Work. Llttlo Mrs. Bride had almost everything every-thing to learn about housekeeping, but she was so enthusiastic In her Interest that ovory one "was glad to holp her. "I have some particularly fine asparagus," as-paragus," tho market-man told her ono day. and he dlaplayod a bunch for k her admiration. "Picked not threo hours ago," he added Mrs. Bride looked at It with unaffected un-affected amazement "Does it grow like that?" she asked. "I always supposed the cook braided the ends of It." Youth's Companion. Mistaken. Title: Tho Melancholy Epic of a Young Gentlemanf Who Got What Ho "Went For and Found It Was Not Exactly Ex-actly What Ho Wanted. Te.Vt He ran for the train and ho got It, For he'd once been a champion sprinter. Then he gasped. "Is this my train? What? Not if "Oh " (Bprmkie some asterisks, printer.) Life. One On the Motorist. The Delighted Quarryman Och, yer rlvcrence, and did yei hear av tho joko mo brother played on wan av them chaffeurs this morning? His Reverence No, indeed, I didn't.? And what did your brother do9 The Delighted Quarryman Och, tho artful dyvll1 Ho had a stick av dynamite dyna-mite Jn his pocket when he was run over The Sketch. A Real Problem. Dremor Did you ever think what you'd do If you had Rockefeller's Income? In-come? Mugloy Yes; and I've often wondered won-dered what he'd do If ho had mine. Catholic Standard and Times. |
