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Show d, about: Glory Vs. Undernourishment. SANTA MONICA, CALIF. Because their dictators are piling up armaments and building up armies at a rate unprecedented, the German people must, it appears, go on rations, cutting down their daily consumption of foodstuffs and fats, with the prospect of still more stringent strin-gent restrictions. But their overlords a reasonably well-nourished lot, to judge by their photographs keep right on preaching that such compul- 1 sory undernourish- N ment is all for the f j greater glory of the W vaterland. I know of but one historic parallel to . , 1 match this It is to be found in Mother Goose, where it is J poetically set forth: &&r-A. WhmJ There was a piper bvin S- Cobb had a cow And he had naught to give her So he pulled out his pipes and played her a tune And bade the cow consider. Signs of Disapproval. ONCE, in Montana, I heard two cowboys talking about the father fath-er of the sweetheart of one of them. "I've got a kind of a sneaking idea that Millie's paw don't care deeply for me," said the lover. "What makes you think so something some-thing he said?" "No, because he don't never say nothing to me, just sniffs. But the other night I snuck over there to see Millie, and, as I was coming away, I happened to look back and the old man was shoveling my tracks out of the front yard." The archbishop of Canterbury is likely to wake up any morning and find the British public shoveling his tracks out of the front yards. International "Messifications." JUST about the time the contest-ing contest-ing groups in Spain lose the twenty or thirty confusing names the correspondents have hung on them and resolve themselves into the army that's going to take Madrid Ma-drid not later than 3 o'clock tomorrow tomor-row afternoon and the army that's going to keep Madrid until the cows come home, a fresh complication breaks out in China. General Chang gets into a mixup with General Chiang, Chi-ang, possibly on the ground that he's a typographical error, and the red forces of the north get all twisted twist-ed up with the white army of the north and the pink army of the north by northeast and so on and so forth, until the special writers run out of colors. Just one clear point stands out of the messification. When the dust clears away some small brown brothers wearing the Japanese uniform uni-form will be found sitting on top of the heap. China's poison is Nippon's Nip-pon's meat, every pop. Rationalizing the Calendar. THE plan to adopt a rational calendar cal-endar is finding favor in administration admin-istration circles at Washington, as in European countries. Every time this proposition which is so sensible and seemingly unattainable bobs up, I think of the little story of the venerable Alabama Ala-bama pessimist who dropped into the general store just in time to hear the proprietor reading aloud from the newspaper that the project proj-ect for thirteen months of twenty-eight twenty-eight days each had been laid for consideration before the League of Nations. "I'm ag'in' it," declared the aged one. "It'd be jest my luck for that extry month to come in the winter win-ter time and ketch me short of fodder." Stunts in the Films. FOR ordinary film stunts, current prices are: Tree fall, $25; stair fall, $50 (each additional flight, $35) ; head-on auto crash, $200; parachute jump, $150; mid-air plane change, $200; high dive, $75; being knocked down by auto, $75. being knocked down by locomotive, $100; trick horse riding, rid-ing, $125; crashing a plane, $1,500. It doesn't cost a cent, though, for practically every slightly shopworn leading man, on or off the screen, to crave to play "Hamlet" on the stage. But it is almost invariably expensive for the producers who occasionally satisfy these morbid cravings. IRVIN S. COBB. Western Newspaper Union. |