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Show High Hat Folks. BEVERLY HILLS, CALIF. Once I thought the climax cli-max of utter self-satisfaction was attained in Massachusetts. When you met a Bostonian of Old Plymouth Rock stock who, in addition, had gone through Harvard, it was as though you met an egg which had been laid twice and both ffSJNv times successfully. 0 Sometimes this t type made me say iaest to myself that mny-t mny-t V ' be it might have been better if the , Mayflower had been t 1 making a round I VA trip. f Butnowthls yii i coast takes the &m&ud chest- expanding Irvin S. Cobb .championship right away from the eastern east-ern seaboard. Out here Is a sojourning sojourn-ing Englishman who heretofore was not notably distinguished; didn't have a singlehyphen tohis name. But he wrote home congratulating King Edward on his accession and has just had an acknowledgment signed by none other than the king's fourth assistant deputy equerry, and now the delirious recipient can hardly wait to be snatched up to glory so he may pause at the golden gates Just long enough to give In his order or-der for an extra over-sized halo and then, with that hallowed document clutched to his Inflated bosom, stroll through paradise snooting the heav-pnlv heav-pnlv hosf Orfglnal Native Sons. RIGHT in the heart of Los Angeles An-geles the bones of perhaps our first climate-booster have just been dug up. If he lived 50,000 years ago, as some experts figure, that would seem to make him an original native na-tive son, but if, as others think, he only dates back 16,000 years, he was probably an early settler from the Middle West who got bogged down In the primeval ooze on his way to an Iowa state picnic. This certainly puts those uppity Florida folks in their place. The only thing they've dug up lately was a canal, and they may have to put that back. The celery growers don't like It, and when you come between a Florida celery grower and his celery cel-ery it's just the same as trying to rob a tigress of her young. Governor Hoffman's Motives. NOTWITHSTANDING the accusations ac-cusations of critics In his own state, It's hard to believe New Jersey's Jer-sey's Governor Hoffman was actuated actuat-ed by political ambition In the course he took in this- ghastly Hauptmann case, because, while he created for himself a strong personal per-sonal following, so many of the boys who'd probably like to vote with his side are unfortunately being detained de-tained at present in places like Sing Sing and Alcatraz and Leavenworth, where there's no voting done. Lady Luck's Favorites. ONE of the main winners in the recent sweepstakes, a mere youth, lamented being alone In the world and having nobody to share his good fortune with. That'll be the smallest of the young man's worries. Inside of forty-eight hours he'll have more kinfolks than a Potomac shad. By the end of a week he'll be entirely surrounded by an Impenetrable Impene-trable forest of previously unsuspected unsus-pected friends and well-wishers. Also stock promoters, automobile salesmen, Income tax collectors and life Insurance agents; affectionate females (object, matrimony and alimony ali-mony In the order named) and citizens citi-zens on foot or hitch-hiking. As for distant relatives, he'll begin thinking think-ing he must be part Belgian hare and they won't stay distant, either. Nothing renews old family ties" like coming into a large chunk of unexpected currency. New Spring Finery. WHY do the new fashions always al-ways light on the wrong females, fe-males, or vice versa, as the case may be? When white shoes prevailed the lassies with the most robust feet went to them unanimously, probably because a white shoe makes any foot look bigger. As skirts climbed knee-high and then on 'way uptown, 'twas the maiden with the bow-legs who wore hers the highest. She would. The damsel who's kind of startled looking anyhow just will pluck her eyebrows, thereby enhancing the suggestion of a skeered squlnch owl. And now that bangs are coming In and coming down the style won't be favored first by the young girl who already resembles a newly new-ly hatched robin and so could get away with that sort of thing, it'll be none other than the middle-aged elster who Is, as the poet says, kind of horse-faced to start with, and then all she'll need Is a floral horseshoe horse-shoe around her nerk to look like a derby winner. Were it not for the foolish things men wear, we safely could say the foolish things women wear are (he foolisliest things anybody over wore IRVIN S. COBB. WNU Service. |