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Show Making it Unanimous. It was married men's night at the-revival the-revival meeting. "Let all you husbands hus-bands who have troubles on your minds stand up!" shouted the minister at the height of his spasm. Instantly every man in the church arose except one. "Ahr" exclaimed the minister, peering peer-ing out at this 'one individual, who occupied a chair nsar the door. "You ar one in a million." "It ain't that," piped back this one helplessly, as the rest of the congrega-. tion gazed suspiciously at him; "I can't get up I'm paralyzed!" The Soft Answer. An old Scotswoman was famous for speaking kindly. No sheep wa3 so dark but she could discover some white spot to point out to those who could see only blackness. One day a gosslpful neighbor lost patience with her, and said, angrily: "Wumman, ye'll hae a gude word to say for the deevil himself." Instantly came the reply: "Wee' he's a verra industreeous body!" The Car Couldn't With hut three minutes to catoh his train, the traveling man inquired of the street car conductor, "Can you go faster than this " "Yes," the bell-ringer replied, "but I (have to stay with my car." Too Much Lumpy. She was stout and must have weighed nearly 96 pounds. She was learning roller skating when she had the misfortune to fail. Several attendants at-tendants rushed to her side, but were unable to raise her at once. One said soothingly: "We'll get you up all right, madam, do not be alarmed." "Oh I'm not alarmed at all, but your floor is so terribly lumpy." And then from underneath came a small voice, which said- ant1""1 a 'UmP; 1 am f The Trouble. H was bath night, and from the und0moff, tWia b0's - crying Th -"J7 !aUgMer and loud out the c a,h6r Went find uut tne cause. . "What's the matter up here"" he Inquired. ne.e. De The laughing twin poimod to his weeping brother '-Vm,,, ' .. , .. , -Notn ng. he eie- , Smithing Wrong. , mJhe spelling book's ai! wrong, mam-"Why mam-"Why so, Ethel'" ; ."XTixtrt,o'',,t- ters and a big cat , "" S'X lc" . -VonkersS.lV''-ve three." I ' , Relive Values. ' ba,eattaiSitaerPrVerfull'--'i"'l- |