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Show Enjoys His Absence The four-year-old was busy play-tag play-tag in his yard when a grownup stopped by. "Hi, Mike," she said, "where's your friend Jason?" "Away," he replied. "Don't you miss him?" "Yes," Mike admitted. Then, meditating darkly on the number of times Jason had beaten him, he added, "But I like missing him." Prayer Works Wonders At prayer meeting one night, the minister asked if there was anyone in the congregation who wished to have a special prayer said. A lady parishioner promptly rose. "I should like a prayer said for my husband," she announced. "But you haven't a husband," said the perplexed minister. "Well," replied the lady tartly, "I can think of no better reason for praying for one.' TEXAN MANNERS When it comes to gallantry, Tex-ans Tex-ans cannot be beat. As an example, a rough old gaffer from the oil fields who was just preparing to dig into a succulent piece of roast pig at a barbecue when someone careened into him from behind and knocked his plate to the ground. In a rage he bellowed, "You hawg! You want all the space there is?" and then he perceived the offender was the dignified wife of his host. Without a second thought he amended his statement, "Lady hawg, that is, ma'am." Both Legs Same Age An elderly lady, having been troubled with pains in her leg for some time, consulted her physician. "It's rheumatism," he told her, "but we must expect such ailments as we grow older." "Nonsense," was the reply. "It has nothing to do with age. My other leg isn't one bit younger and it doesn't bother me at all." Gets Around She, with indifference: "I believe I may have seen you somewhere." He, with equal indifference: "There is no doubt you have. I go there often." INTERESTED IN DETAILS PETS OP " X All. SORTS ffiifjj A stranger walked into the pet shop and asked for the proprietor. "I have come to inquire about your advertisement in this morning's paper for a man to retail imported canaries," he announced. "Glad to see you, sir. Are you interested in-terested in the job?" asked the proprietor. "Oh, no. I was just curious to know how the canaries came to lose their tails," the placid stranger replied. When to Laugh An actress was once appearing opposite a ham actor who took himself very seriously. Like most hams, he was temperamental, and found something new to complain about every night. One night, between acts, he cornered cor-nered the actress and said: "I saw you laughing at me during dur-ing the last scene. I demand that you stop laughing at me on the stage." "Oh, I never laugh at you on the stage," said the actress innocently. "I always wait until I have returned re-turned to my dressing room." COULD BE TRUE "The new baby has It's father's nose and its mother's eyes." "Yes, and if grandpop doesn't stop leaning over the crib, it's going to have his teeth." |