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Show KATHLEEN NORRIS Legality Foils Parents1 Love "TI7HEN WE HAD BEEN MAR- RIED seven years, with no hope of having a child," writes Ken-netha Ken-netha McNear, from a suburb of Philadelphia, "we determined upon adoption. But we are shy, quiet people, and we hesitated to take the step. "At that time, two years ago, through my work as a nurses' aid, I became acquainted with a destitute desti-tute family in which there were eight children, and a delicate newborn new-born baby, Elena. This family lived In squalor in four dark rooms; there were four daughters, aged 17 to 12, and four younger sons. With the mother's written permission the baby was given to my husband and me; we all signed this agreement in a lawyer's office. Elena has grown into an exquisite, responsive, loving child, the very light of our eyes and the core of our hearts. What To Do "Since we took Elena, the mother has had two children, and has suffered suf-fered the loss of her right hand. Two older girls are married, and four children work between school hours. Last year the mother asked to see Elena occasionally, and I took her to her old home, she being too young to appreciate the shocking contrast between her life and theirs. Now, this week, comes a request from the father for a large sum of money, to make payments on a car and a television set, and coupled Rod to do is to surrender the child, and face the inevitable agony of 1 parting in the conviction that this is the wisest solution under the deplorable de-plorable circumstances. Send Elena home. She is still so small that finding herself in a crowded lair of sisters and brothers will not make upon her the impression that it would a few years later. She has no social consciousness now. Would Increase Agony That is if things come to the worst. At the best, you will call the parental bluff, and they will give the child back to you, this time legally. I cannot believe they really real-ly want Elena, but the fact remains that she is theirs, and your adoption adop-tion of her was irregular. Even when children are legally adopted this change of heart on the parents' part sometimes makes bitter trouble. In your case, to insist on holding Elena, the great cost of a lawsuit, and its probable outcome in your losing her anyway, would only increase your agony. Give her back, be grateful that you had that happy little presence for awhile, and console yourself with what you had of her. Adopt another baby, this time through one of those agencies that keeps the child's background and her new status a complete secret on both sides. That is the recognized, recog-nized, safe and legal way. Otherwise Other-wise you not only would be helpless against the claims of such a family as Elena's, but you would be worrying worry-ing about it all the time. You are having a hard, hard experience; ex-perience; an experience quite as hard as that of parents who by death lose a beautiful three-year-old. But believe me, Elena will adjust ad-just herself quite contentedly. ". . . grief and anxiety . . ." with it is the statement that he and his wife want Elena to return home. Between indignation, grief and anxiety Rod and I have had a terrible week. The lawyer who wrote us says that our agreement two years ago was not legal, that we have no real claim on the child. "I ask you," this tragic letter concludes, "think of the baby nearest near-est to your heart, and imagine what it must be to us to think of giving up our adored little daughter to the crowded, impoverished home from which we took her. Yet, as Rod says, If we yield to the sort of pressure that this appeal suggests, we will never be free of it, and there will never be any end to it. We don't know what to do; the thing has come as such a shock, and yet I think we always feared it. Last year my husband seriously suggested accepting a position with his same company in Southern California, Cali-fornia, so that we might feel more safe about keeping Elena. Would our making known the squalid conditions con-ditions of the home, and the father's fa-ther's uncertain employment, have any effect on a jury if this came to trial? What similar cases have you known, and how have they been decided? I am half sick with worrying worry-ing and praying and need advice." My advice to this troubled pair is unfortunately exactly what they don't want to hear. One of the saddest sad-dest things in a very confused world is that children so often have to pay for the grown-ups' faults. That Elena's family is irresponsible irresponsi-ble and slipshod is poor little Elena's misfortune. 1 The only thing for Kenneth and |