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Show Chatter Box Dear Suzy, Robert Burns, once a poet but now a maker of cigars, once said, "The best laid plans of mice and men ofttimes go astray", or words to that effect. I never did read any of his poems, and I ne'ver could stand a cigar, even a good five- cent one. but if he did make that statement I think Steve Williams, publisher, Editor, and so forth of the Milford News should have it painted in big type and placed in his office. Mr. Williams, basketball fan and Milford enthusiast,, put on a spurt of effort last week and got his paper all ready to run before leaving leav-ing for the Milford-Hinckley game. Across the top of the front page in studhorse type was the headline, ! "TIGERS EAT MUSTANGS; LICK CHOPS FOR BEAVER! 1 j And further down the page was ! . the complete story of how Milford practically wiped the floor with Hinckley, went home and were : filing their teeth to get at Beaver. i ' Everything was complette but the ' scores. will realize that as a bar room fighter, Mr. Williams has many superiors, because it is a well-known well-known fact that Steve only weighs 126 pounds with an anvil in each hand. Of course, after he puts the anvils down, and weighs in at ring-eside, ring-eside, there is no question but that his weight is much less. R. was having none of the "peace making stuff" (whoever said the Scandanavians were a peaceful peo pie) and picked up Mr. Williams, which as I have explained is no great feat, and bodily bounced him out of the place. Whereupon R. stepped back into the fray wielding wield-ing his flashlight with a vengeance Some big guy from Milford, reputed to be a school teacher there, came up and wanted to know what was the trouble. By this time Curly, R.'s brotther and also mayor of Hinckley, Hinck-ley, was there to back up the play. R., being a little short jumped up on Curly's shoulders and bopped the big guy from Milford so hard his flashlight bounced 10 feet in the air. As R. caught the flashlight flash-light on the downbeat it set off a symphony that only those who stay ed late at the game will ever appreciate. appr-eciate. R., the Maest ro, went about the crowd assembled playing his flashlight upon skullls in such a manner that those who had heard the Sabre Song thought the song was slow as compared to the Mae-stro's Mae-stro's version. He beat a lusty and vigorous tune on indiscriminate skulls followed by Ladd, Do-Re-Mi, Cropper, who was carrying a tuning Then Mr. Williams, his wife and ,;; a Mr. and Mrs. Grimes, James, j! or Hames left for Hinckley to view i;; the slaughter of- the Mustangs, which they felt would be complete ij and gory. On ariving at Delta the ji foursome stopped in at the local newspaper emporium to chide the jj local publishers on having to work j that night while they were making HEY, and wondered why no one ' was game-going from the local ' establishment. On leaving Steve i picked up his bottle and went out through the front door oblivious of l the perils of the snow that had ! become a booby tray there, and I! like Dr. Foster, stepped in up to Ihis middle. He was soon put in the car, as soon as it was determined he had a good clutch on the bottle, bott-le, and the people left for Hinckley. Hinck-ley. .i Steve's partting word was what j floor would Deltta prefer to play the tie-off on, after Milford had E trimmo TTinVlcnr an Daavoi. Wall tork, sounding his A and trying to get the Maestro in pitch. Some blood flowed but not enough en-ough to make the Maestro lose his grip on his improvised baton, and the song went merrily on until R. got tired, and also he couldn't find the right note. Ladd upbraided him severely for his lack of pitch and the Maestro explained, "Ladd, I hit every skull in the joint ( I bet R. forgot where he was when he called the place a joint) and I never did find a B sharp. They were always B flat." And Ladd then took him to one side to give him a lesson on music, "Maestro." he explained, ex-plained, "it is all a matter of timing, tim-ing, it depends on whether the sub ject, or I suppose I should say, note, has his mouth opened or rinsed. Ynn notice that those with ! Mr. Williams was half right, they trimmed Beaver. But to get back to the slaughter ij in' Hinckley we find Milford trail ing the Mustangs by quite a lead j through out the game and when ) the final whistle blew, no one had any other idea but that the best team won. That is, I mean, no-1 no-1 body but those who were from Mil- I ford. Our Mr. Grimes, James or Hames (let's cal him Shorty for tthe rest of this, as I never could remember names) let his enthusiasm enthus-iasm run ahead of his better judgment, judg-ment, and shortly before the end of the game we find him a recipient of a couple of resounding slaps that echoed across the hall, stop- ped the game short as the players i thought it was the gun. Then at the close of the game Shorty played play-ed an encore and got another cou- their mouths open give off a full, true note when sounded on the head with a hard object. But those who keep their mouths closed, eith er give off a very flat and poor note, or else they never get into trouble." "So now, my good man, if you wish to carry on your project, let me be not the one to stop you, but please try and hit a true note." Whereupon the Maestro viewed a most unpl'easant sight, and lost, all interest in becoming a second Toscannini, for our pal, Steve was being towed back in the door by the Delta Mayor, one Golden Black, so that Steve could explain his point of view. But R. seeing this unexpected sight went into the fray again, solely against Mr. Williams, Wil-liams, and so he was ousted once again, thoroughly and decisively, leaving our mayor, as an emissary of good will, open mouthed and inarticulate. Those who were able got up from their places on the floor and filed solemnly out the door, and those who had not engaged in the carnage car-nage were wondering why all the fun had stopped. They were just like little kids who, when their dad hit himself on the head with an axe, cried, "more Daddy", even though the dad was stretched out on the woodpile slowly bleeding to death. There are some who will remember remem-ber the score of the game, but there are hundreds who will have a story to tell their grandchildren when they sit down as a baby tender ten-der to put the little Kellers to sleep They will say, "Now go to sleep, little (deleted) or I will tell you about the Hinckley-Milford basketball basket-ball game in 1949 , when more heads were cracked by a flashlight, than I actually thought were ever ccracked in the first place." But it was a eood haskpthnll ' ' pie of slaps. :; Where upon Shorty became in volved with some Delta fans who were there only to see that the game went according to schedule and also to put in a few lusty i yells for Hinckley. Glen Hortin, loc al keeper of the butter, go in the embroglio, and got smacked three 1 times, twice of which were by un knowns. Mr. Hortin says that is ', the first time he was ever in a fight when he didn't know who J hit him. He also had the lumps to i show at late as 'Monday. , At this point things got to mov- ing rather rapid-like and we find the strong arm of the Hinckley law as represented by R. Swensen, step ping into the breech to bring a halt to the ensuing riot. R. came armed with flash light and badge he might as weel left the badge home, but it is lucky he brought his five cell flashlight. By the - time R. got there Mrs. shorty had her better half well in hand and was cuffing his ears out the front door. So, if anyone is wondering what happened to the guy who started the fight, let them rest assured that his wife gave him a good licking and sent him to bed wihout any supper. At this point our Mr. Williams stepped into the fray, not as a participant, but as a peace-maker, trying to explain that it was all a misunderstanding. misunder-standing. Those who know Steve game with a super colossal, stup-enduous,, stup-enduous,, mammoth and bloodting-ling bloodting-ling climax. And, after all, I guess, that is why we go to basket ball games to see a fast game, and anything tthat develops that raises rais-es the blood pressure is just so much velvet. I think if Hinckley and Milford are going to put on shows like that they ought to play in Palomar so that more of us can see them, especially the finish and the post finish. Of course, R. says it is a little hard on flashlights and the bulbs just don't stand up as they did before the war. Well, either the bulbs are poorer or the heads are thicker. What do you think? Toots. |