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Show 6 I WE VANITY I OF MAN. m -fo- o 9 9 JHOtS "I'STEIIDAY morning I I j( . )i found In the top drawer of I O Y m-v flilffoiittT a clipping I ( f from Mu daily paper on- TtfO?" nounclng n "sale" of I ladles' spring lints. I "I really don't need tills, dear," I re- B marked, handing It to Tolly, without H even turning around. "What Is It?" asked Tolly Innocently, mU turning the paper over as though It QM were some strange, scientific specimen. 3l 'Oil, yes; the advertisement of the Rondbrcitkcr 'Mile.' How did it get I there? I must have dropped It when I I was putting away your socks, nftcr H mending them last Saturday. Do you H know, .Tack, dear," she went on, let-H let-H ting the paper fall to the floor with H beautiful IndllTerence, "that I never H really thought I should love any man H well enough to darn socks for lilm!" H "I suppose." I remarked, looking Hj very severely at my shaving cup nnd B mixing the lather with a firmness and H decision qulto unnecessary under the m clrcumstniices, "that' I am about to be B wheedled out of my last penny. And M I suppose you know, Mrs. Heavy B feather, that since that slump In I. D. H Q. WC' cannot afford any liuui'Ic.vlll.p.. H well like spring bonnets, for In-H In-H stance." B I was stirring the lather furiously by' tills time. .. "" HB rcirjMboked at me for n moment In B amazed repioach. BB "And I suppose you know," she re- BH torted warmly, as soon as she had re- BB covered from my thrust, "that if I BBF wnnted spring bonnet I should know BB better than to have left that clipping BB where you could find It." BB I dropped my brush with my face K half lathered. PB "Apparently," said I, sarcastically, sm "there Is n science in getting n spring BBJ bonnet." 3 "No," said Tolly, wiping the stem of Mk a pink rose and tucking It In her hair, BfK "but there Is mi art In managing a Bfrl man. A man Is divided Into three Br parts; ills heart, his soul and his El vanity. You might as well hall u mo- BK tor car on the wro'ng side of the street, BH as to attempt to coerce or wheedle a BB man without appealing to bis vanity. BK It Is the woman who knows how to BB pay a subtle compliment nnd who BR takes the time to do It every morning BJj and most afternoons, who has overy- BE tiling she wants, from a diamond tiara Bk to the right arm of a policeman across BE n crowded street. You may cotnpll- BR ment a muu upon anything, from his Bj nose to his necktie; from his brain to BJ bis boots. It never really matters Bj when nor how nor upon what you BR compliment him, so that you do It BJ skilfully nnd often especially often. Bj You may tell a prize lighter that lie Bj should havo been a poet, or a deaf Bj mute that lie is a charming conversa- BJ tlonallst; mid either of them will swal- Bj low the little dose of (lattery like a sugar pill and feel better for It after- ward." B I drew a clean line down the middle B of my cbeek with my razor before roll ro-ll plying. W "I perceive," said I, when 1 bad mmfj finally finished, "that managing a r" man Is not so much an art or a scl- .... .. r - .-, coco us a luriti ui win. "Oh, no," said Tolly dcprecatlngly, as sho leaned forward to admire her eyebrow In the mirror, "It Is more like a form of diplomacy. A woman could no more win In open light with u man than Japiin could whip Russia In open field. Hut when it comes to strategy, It's the little woman nnd the little nation na-tion who understand how to mnko It pay, better than muscle and giinpow-Icr." giinpow-Icr." "Oil, I see," I remarked scathingly, "like the bloody Kusslan I bnvo sailed Into the traps and the mines laid for me and doubtless have swallowed nhont n pound of soft soap since my wedding day." "You look ns though you might have." gurgled Tolly, gazing thoughtfully thought-fully nt my lathered chin. "And I suppose." I continued, Ignoring Ignor-ing the Impertinence, -that you Imagine Imag-ine I believe that I am wise and clever clev-er and handsome and all the other things that your fancy and your (lattery (lat-tery have painted." "Well, you are." llnred Tolly, looking nt herself defiantly In the glass, "every one of them," I caught myseir smiling nt my shaving uilirnr, and Immediately drew u grave face. V "Ihil It wouldn't make any differ- mr once, if jim were not any of them as " far its that go"K." went on Tolly. "I'd think so. And If 1 didn't think so, you'd like to be told no. It's n funny thing, but It's true that a man would nil her be complimented on the things )r doesn't possess than on tlin-i- Mint )ii din's possess A vidian mways In h a woman who 'nuigliies he 's n pattern of honor. And n little chap, iascs-A- the height of a walking cane find the, stability of an orgnudlo frock, will die for you It you pretend to admire his muscle and lean upon his strong right nrm; and n physical giant adores yon If you will only defer to his opinions on art and science; nnd a literary man always expects you to admire the cut of his clothes and rave over the curl and color of his hair; and oh, I forgotl Now I kucw how that slip of paper got Into your chiffonier drawcrl It was the color of your lmlrl" "The color of my hair?" "Yes," said Tolly, tripping over to the chiffonier, and pulling out a red nnd yellow necktie that must have cost thirty-nine cents. If H cost a penny. "I dropped It when I put this In there. I got this to match your hair, dear bought It out of my lunch money nnd what was left from " "Hut my hair Isn't yellow," I objected, ob-jected, brutally. 'That's Just It!" aid Tolly. "If you had Mm least bit of vitality you'd know there Is a Streak of gold running through it, aud you'd dress in ninuos and browns nnd tans instead of blacks and blues'." "Hut how about the red? 1 ncer wear red," I grumbled. "Well." said Tolly, holding, the Me up meditatively, "I did think of that and 1 know that everybody cannot wear red; but with yo.ir complexion and that red-brown shade hi your eyes " "Oh," I remaiked, ej ideally. "I am relieved to hear that th"y're red-brown. red-brown. I was nlinot beginning to suspect that they were green." "They're hazel!" declared Tolly, emphatically. em-phatically. "Then why," sold I, "do yon attempt to coerce and wheedle me 111 this fashion?" "I haven't asked you for anything," said Tolly pathetically; and her under, lip began to tremble, while her eyes looked dangerously wet. "There, little girl!" said I, pntting her shoulder with the handle of my razor, "I didn't mean anything. I only thought you wanted a bonnet." "I don't want a bouneU" pouted Tolly. "Then why," I rsked, resuming my shaving, "did you go to the Uond-lriMkcf Uond-lriMkcf salo?v - "Oh well liegjuispI jrujt t anted to see thc-fnetty things." "And were they very pretty?" "Just beauties!" said Tolly, with n sigh. "And there was one little to- "I don't approve of a lot of gewgaws," gew-gaws," said I severely. "Oh, but this was very plain and simple," said Tolly, assuredly. "It was Just your taste exactly rich and elegant ele-gant und artistic, Jack." "If the average woman," I remarked, "would put less time and money on the outside of her head aud more thought on the Inside " "And It was the very cheapest thing In the store only $18, marked down from $.10." "She would bo lullnltcly moro attractive." at-tractive." I finished. "That Is Just whnt I thought," said Tolly sweetly, "and so I decided that I wouldn't ask for Mm toque, even though It was such a bargain and you would have liked It so, nnd even though my old blue forget-me-not hat Is gone, nnd the one trimmed In yellow asters got soaked In the rain the other day, nnd " "Where's' that black hat with the feather on It?" I luuulred. "You know very well Mint was lost the night we left It In the automobile," said I'olly reproachfully. "Well." I pursued, "what has become be-come of the six new hats you had when we were married?" ".My wedding hats?" asked Tolly Innocently; In-nocently; "you didn't expect mo to wear them forever, did you?" "And how about the two you got a month ago?" "They were winter hats, dear." "Haven't you any sort of head covering, cover-ing, airs. Ilcavyfeather," I asked, brutally. "Oh, yes," said Tolly, with sweet en-tlmslasm, en-tlmslasm, "I can lix over that little brown thing " "What, the one I call Mie SalvaUon Army bonnet?" "Yes, the one you hate so. A'nd If It wasn't that I shall look so shabby beside be-side you " "Me? I haven't a spring bonnctl" "Hut you look nice lu anything you put on, .Tuck. Yes, you do I Kven your old golf cap makes you look distinguished. distin-guished. And when you put on your white llnnnels or your dinner coat " "It's a shome," said I, "that you havo got to wear that miserable qiuikcr-looking thing Just now when all the other women will be decked out In feathers and flowers." "Now Jack," said Tolly, "don't weaken. Your tasto Is too artistic for u poor little lady s pockot. You mustn't be so fastidious." ".Maybe," said I, looking stealthily Into my shaving mirror. "If I should do without that now olllco desk " "There!" said Tolly, "that's Just why I wouldn't nsk you for It. I know how generous you are. It I should nsk for the new moon, you'd go right out and ley to buy It for me. And wo can't ulTord " "I gness I know what I can afford!" t growled. "Oo look In that wallet In my waistcoat pocket." With beautiful reluctance, Tolly took out Mm wallet and counted out $50111 bills, "Tako twenty of It," I remarked, "and go get that toque at Hondbrcak-er's." Hondbrcak-er's." "You darling!" cried Tolly, Jumping up and doing something very silly. "Oh, go away," I growled. "You're getting your pompadour all full of roopsud "- Helen Itowland, lu Washington Wash-ington Tost. |