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Show Some fools nud their money nro part cd only by death. Puck. H Algy "Oh, jour sister is ont? Win you tell her I called?" Elolsc "Why. H I d!d.-l'uck. H An open confession mny bo good for 'j the soul, but It l.s a bad thing for the H lawyers for the defense. Puck. The man who owes you money may j or may not think u grout deal of you, H but It is certain that tho in nil to whom H you owo money thinks ot you a great deal. Puck. H Wife (looking up from paper) "What was 'Ilobson's choice,' any JH way?" Husband ".Mrs. Hobson, I H Eupposc."-ChIcago Dally News H "And ko Professor Gustavus tins at 1 Inst discovered tho missing link! H Where did ho find It?" "Under tho IH bureau, I suppose." llnltlmoro News. H "With 'hash' and 'tew' and 'potple, " jH Cried hoarder Number One, H "Thin doinK io:mt beef oter iH la being ovciduue." jH -Philadelphia Press. H "Churl lo Is m unpractical I" "What's 1 he done now?" "Why, tho poor fel H low wns down in tho kitchen trying B to press ills trouserM with a wnlllo B Iron." Baltimore Now. BBl Actor "Hurry, or we'll miss tho HHl train." Actress "I can't llud my din- HHJ iiiouds or my purse." "Oh, well, nover jHJ mind." "Yes, but tho purso had $10 HBl In It." New York Weekly. H She "I noticed ovcry tlmo they KHJ cheered or yelled, tho speaker took a KHJ long drink of wnter." He "Yes, ho BBi was trying to help them dry.vu his. HHl voice." Yonkers Statesman. HBl Mr. Mnnn "My, but you're a frigTit ,BBl lu those things. Where's tho cook? ' Mrs. Mnnn "Shi Don't disturb her. jHJ She's tnklng her piano lesson lu the HHl parlor." Chelsea (Mass.) Gazette. HJ To-day no credit comes to you HHJ For bein nob.C, wise or great; HH The advertiser s.iy it's due HB Kutirc.y to the food? you ate. HH Washington Star. HH Snlff--''I see thnt tin ancient poem,' BBj supposed to hnC been written by IIo- HB mer, lias Just como to light." Slnuvo HH "Ah, ho had sent It to some magazine HHJ that paid on publication, I suppose." IHH Judge. JHJ Towne "Bill Kayrllss tolls me yott M vent with him ou u gumiU:g trip last HB week. Havo any luck?" Browne BHJ "Splendid." Towne "You did?" Browne "Of course. Hero' I am b.ick HH safe and sound, ain't I?" Philadelphia HHl Press. HBl "Oh, wo'vo got nn easy thing this HHl time," said tho coulldcuco man who HHJ had been prospecting for a victim." "Suro?" "Oh, positive. Why, I've rounded up a fellow who thinks bo's HHl too smart to be done by any one." BBl Chicago ICvenlng Fost. HHl Mrs. Wuuderiy "Why, I thought H you had two llttlo boys?" Mrs. KnowU HBl ton "I did have two, but since tho HBi Fourth of July, when Tommy didn't JH .mow the giant firecracker was light HB cd, I havo had only ono and u frao HH tlon." ilarper's Bazur. HHJ "What can bo more pathetic," said HHJ thd sentimental woman, "than a man HH who has loved and lost?" "Well," re 'HH piled the man of experience, "a follow HH who has bet on a suro thing and, lost HH cuts quite a figure in tho pathetic Hue." IH Chicago Record-Herald. HHJ |