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Show REBUKED BY DR. HOLMES. Witty Manner In Which Upstart Was ' Given a Lesson. M A man who suddenly becarao rich ' and somewhat prominent in tho world . H adopted mnnners which ho consldorod . H appropriate to his now station in llfo, ,H but which Irrltntcd his friends by a H suggestion of condescension. ;H Dr. Holmes administered tho follow- H Ing rebuko: H Ono ot the now fashions particular-- H ly distasteful to tho man's correspond- H cnts was his habit of Bonding lottors H which read: H "Mr. instructs mo to say that '! H ho has received your lottor of March ..H 10, and would say in roply (otc., etc) H John Jones, secretary. ' Having written in this manner to IH Dr. Holmes, ho was more surprised lH than amused to rccolvo tho following 'H answer: -H "Mr. Holmes has directed his valet IH to Instruct his secretary to tell his H tj powrltcr to say that ho Is in rocclpt H of your secretary's letter of some days H slnco, nnd would say in reply (otc, H etc.) Sarah L. Hodgkiss, typowrltor." 'jH Down in Oklahoma a preacher In H delivering his farowell sermon said: "I don't believe the Lord loves this ;H church none; of you ever die. I don't H believe you lovo each other, I never 'II married any of you. I don't bcllovo H you lovo me, for you don't pay me my jH salary only In wormy fruit, and by 'H their fruits yc shall know them. I H am going to a better place; I am going "ifH to fill the place of chaplain In the pent- ' H tcntlary. Where I go yo cannot ';H come, but I go to prepare a placo for '-- you." H Afraid of the Auburn Hair. H Tho mere fact that Mary Jano Cor- ?H nlsh of Allen, Md., had fiery red hair H would not bo very peculiar wero it not VH for the fact that Mary Jane herself la ' H as black and shiny as tho aco ot tfl spades. Her hair, though rod, Is as H kinky as it would bo If it wero black. jtH Mary Jano was born with red hair, JH and it has been a mlsfortuno to her, !H for as a child sho had to stand tho jH Jibes of all her neighbors, black and H whlto, and now as a young woman jH sho has no steady company. Ono man, l whon askod why he did not court so H honost and Industrious a girl, said: iH "Bobs, I hab alius heerd dat rod- jH headod white folks am do dobbll. but H a rod-headed, niggah Lawd! Sho am jH do dobbll untied." ' Gen. Stuart Made Impreeelon. II At a meeting of tho Gen. J. E. B. j'H Stuart Monumont associat.on in Ricky iH mond, Va., the other day MaJ. A. R. ; Venablo related the following lncl- :H dont: "Ono act of Gen. Stuart's mad '': a great impression upon me. When he t'H was sevoroly wounded by an Iudlaa 'H chief In ono of the Westorn campaigns H ot 18C7 we bandaged his wounds and 4H startod to put him to bed. Although H suffering intensely, be retusod to Us '''H down until bo had knelt at his bod- )H sldo and prayod. It was such an un- ' H usual thing for the army offlcors In jH the Wmt at that tlmo to pray thai H Gon. Stuart's act mado a lasting lm- H prosston upon his associates." 'M Their 8llght Request. . jM In Haverhill, Mass., tho homo town 2&J. ' H ot Secretary Moody of the navy, there ,.- -v , Is an Informal association of gentle- 1 mon which for tho prosont purposoa "jt . gB may romaln nameless, but whoso ob- ' Ject Is tho vory deflnlto pursuanco ot ,-'HJ any old scheme which involves a good iifl tlmo. lU When tho press dispatches an- , HJ nouncod Mr. Moody's appointment tho mombers ot the association drew up a telegram as follows: "Dear Dill: Wo'ro glad you'vo got H tho Job. Please sond up tho Dolphin; 'H tho gang wants to go fishing." Now H York Times. |