| OCR Text |
Show T Humor Philosophy By BUNCAN M. SKIT 4 1 PERT PARAGRAPHS. If any man has an Idea that n large and attractive portion of bis women acquaintances are simply dying for him, about now is when ho gets the jolt of hla life. Leap year cornea only once in four years, bnt It would seem that that Is quite enough to keep the men bumble and submissive. It la generally home where'er the Installment In-stallment furniture la and "where the mortgage lightly rests. It Is Indeed fortunate that the da) a are growing longer, for It takes some men sixteen hours to do a day's work. Monotony la good for reflection, nnd If you get too much of It tbcro la always al-ways dynamite. We should like to see a little common sense used occasionally, but there are too many peoplo who wim't stand for an Innovation of nny sort. Many a time a woman has found her way by sluicing through the gateway gate-way of her tears. Some people solve their problems and others knock, them In tbo head with an nx. Being brimful of good Intentions is nil right If you possess sufficient executive execu-tive ability and- persuasive power to lnduco your innoebnt fellow mortal to carry them out. A burning desire to begin nt the other oth-er end Is wtiat negatives the energies of too many people. Prohibitive Handicap. "I can't get n pair of shoos to fit me." "That is strange, considering they nre made In such variety." "I know they are, but what good does that do a fellow when he hasn't got the price?" Got the'Praetlce. , (wl i ' "What can you do?" asked tho boss I of tho applicant for work who had evl-I evl-I dcntly seen better days. "Most nnythlng." replied tho applicant ap-plicant modestly. "I am nn electrician, electri-cian, blacksmith, machinist, upholsterer upholster-er nnd painter, nnd I could also qualify qual-ify us n drny horse." "Do you mean to tell me you havo worked at nil of these trades?" "Well, not for wages, but 1 used to own an automobile." Plenty of Room. If toward tho politicians You feci crossgralncd and sore. Just start another party We need a dozen more. There might as well be twenty To mlnglo In tho came And glvo more worthy people A chance for short lived fame. With half a dosen parties, And sometimes only three. What chance for the ambitious To bo a nominee? Whereas, If there were fifty, Though tacking some were found. There' d be enough of honor To partly ao around. If every little Ism And every lovely fad Would nominate a ticket. It wouldn't be so bad. Then many, passing worthy. And' eke the hired man Could tell their children's children How once they also ran. ' Then let the blanket ballot Bo broadened In extent Until Its new dimensions Are like a circus, tent. Or like, If you profcr li, A mainsail in expand. And let us in tho futuro Give every ono n chance. Good Imagination. "You couldn't bello e that man it bo aworo on a stack of dictionaries." "Ho Is something lif n liar, then?" "Something? That reprobate claims to havo gone nround the Horn with tho fleet, and It has hardly sot sail." Either Kind. Put some of your small change away. For you may readily supposo What you lay by for a rainy day Will come In handy when It snows. His Reason. "Aro you fond l of tho tiny chll- I HA Be! causo yu '0T0 Jl CTypi 'cm 'causo they 3a? UJ yell so lively when I tako their things way from them." , To Him. "Wo nro going to buy a piano." i "How aro yod going to do it?" "Havo it sent up c. o. d." t "Sounds fishy." j I t. |
