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Show THAT REMINDS ME- j une nay as natiz tne wise sat in his tent sipping a glass of mint juleD about a yard long, a woman came wailing and threw herself at his feet to exclaim: "Oh, Hafiz, by husband has been captured cap-tured by brigands, and I am in sore distress!" "I shouldn't get too excited over it," ealmlv replied the old man. "Any of us is liable to be captured by the same crowd any day. After a picnic of a week or two your husband will probably be released." " But there Is my distress," continued the woman. "They have sent a demand for 10,000 scudl in exchange for his liberty." lib-erty." "Then pack up the plunks and send them on." "But I can raise only half that sum O Hafiz. In a week, if the whole is not in their hands, they will send me one of my husband's ears." "As he has two, the loss of one will not be such a great thing." "Then n week later they will send me the other." "But he can let his hair grow and conceal their loss," calmly replied the oracle of wisdom. "That is true; but, alas! the third messenger mes-senger will bring my poor Ismallow's nose." But a nose of wax will answer every purpose, and they are turning out both Greek and Roman noses now for 50 scudl apiece. "I am aware of all this." said the wife, 'but don't you understand that there will be a fourth messenger, and that he will brine me mv dear hnhnnrTo v,t' "I expected it was leading up to that x.ut w..v these tears? When your husband hus-band is dead there will be cause no longer l0n'ort""J,over the ransom, and with the B.000 scudl you can easily marry again oman, dry jour tears and go hence l oil have got a good thing and ought to realize H. It was only yesterday that the wife of Andronicus came wailing to say that, although she had offered these same brigands 10.000 bones to capture her old man and send in his head, they oould find no chance to do it." oNi0iV!5eI! .t.h'?'s are averaged up and divided by 2 they generally come out even. Charles B. Lewis' Oriental Tales. There is a little settlement of New Hampshire people in Kiowa county Colorado. Colo-rado. Among other things they brought with them the New Hampshire aversion to using anv more words in conversation than are absolutely necessarv. Two of them met on the road recently and indulged in-dulged in i..e following dialogue: "Mornln", Si." Atornin . -Joan. "V hat'd you give your horse for hots'" Turpentine." "Mornln'." "Mornln". " -. A few days later the men met again and here the way a hard luck story was told In mighty few words- "Atornin'. Si." "Mornin', Josh." fo7botV?" you 8ay you eave your horse "Turpentine." "Killed mine." "Mine, too." "Mornln'." "Mornln'." Boulder counUrTcoloradni farmer visu.ng -enveiyffood looking at a sign in" a book storcywlndow, Dickens" Vorlfi All This vJ4k for Two Dollars." "AVaai "' I h remaplfed. "my -pinion is that Dickens et"eCithe; A mi,hly poor workman Sr elseHe s confoundetMiard up for a job." Senator Piatt of Connecticut was build flng a house. He had occasion to hi 4 a carpenter who was a plain, unvamishelt son of New England. rnistiea "You Know all about carpenter worirv asked Senator Piatt. orK. "Yes. sir," was the reply. bl'inds"Ca" make windows, doors and "Oh, yes, sir." bUrid?" WOl"d yU makC a V(,npt'n The man thought steadily for several minutes. "I think." he remarked finally, "that I would punch him in the eve. So vour housewas broken into the. ,ther nic-hf" queried one of the woman, as the pair waned for a trolley tram. "Ye-. ' , . "How much did you lose. Well, we were not sure, but it win come to at least J10i." "But the papers say ?W-'. "Yes, 1 know." ,m-- And it was only about tV0- "About that: but. you see. wh it couia we do? Why. the family next door had a burglar in the house and put their loat J-oO. and he is only a clerk getting J-.i a week, and has no social standing wnat- "6'f-of course. I see-yes." said the Innocent-minded woman whose house naa been free from burglars. And then the talked of the latest thing in sarins hats and wondered if tucked sleeves had come to stay. |