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Show B2 The Emery County Review, Tuesday, September 30, 2008 The FAMILY PAGE Horoscope Focus On The Family Crossword Figuratively Speaking FOCUS ON THE FAMILY Not Being Accepted at School is Kids’ Biggest Fear Dr. James Dobson Q Why are kids so vulnerable? How do you explain this paralyzing social fear at an age when they are notoriously gutsy? There is very little else that scares them. Teenagers drive their cars like maniacs and the boys make great combat soldiers. Why is it that an eighteen-yearold can be trained to attack an enemy gun emplacement or run through a minefield, and yet he panics in the noisy company of his peers? Why are they so frightened of each other? I believe the answer is related to the nature of power and how it influences human behavior. Adolescent society is based on the exercise of raw force. That is the heart and soul of its value system. It comes in various forms. For girls, there is no greater social dominance than physical beauty. A truly gorgeous young woman is so powerful that even the boys are often terrified of her. She rules in a high school like a queen on her throne, and in fact, she is usually given some honor with references to royalty in its name (Homecoming Queen, Homecoming A Princess, All-School Queen, Sweetheart’s Queen, Football Queen, etc.). The way she uses this status to intimidate her subjects is in itself a fascinating study in adolescent behavior. Boys derive power from physical attractiveness, too, but also from athletic accomplishment in certain prescribed sports. Those that carry the greatest status are usually skilled in sports that exhibit sheer physical strength (football) or size (basketball.) Do you remember what the world of adolescence was like for you? Do you recall the power games that were played -- the highly competitive and hostile environment into which you walked every day? Can you still feel the apprehension you experienced when a popular (powerful) student called you a creep, or a jerk, or he put his big hand in your face and pushed you out of the way? He wore a football jersey, which reminded you that the entire team would eat you alive if you should be so foolish as to fight back. Does the memory of the junior-senior prom still come to mind occasionally, when you were either turned down by the girl you loved, or were not asked by the boy of your dreams? Have you ever had the campus heroes make fun of the one flaw you most wanted to hide, and then threaten to mangle you on the way home from school? Perhaps you never went through these stressful encounters. Maybe you were one of the powerful elite who oppressed the rest of us. But your son or daughter could be on the receiving end of the flak. A few years ago, I talked to a mother whose seventhgrade daughter was getting butchered at school each day. She said the girl awakened an hour before she had to get up each morning and lay there thinking about how she could get through her day without being humiliated. Typically, power games are more physical for adolescent males than females. The bullies literally force their will on those who are weaker. That is what I remember most clearly from my own high school years. I had a number of fights during that era just Holiday Mathis This week’s new moon in Libra firmly plants our attention on the art of creating harmonious balance. The benefit of doing so is clear enough: Peaceful relaxation is happiness inducing. Exactly how to do this amidst a demanding life, or a challenging personality, is the real question. Libra replies: Don’t let ‘em see you sweat. Create “om” around you by turning your attention toward tranquility. Peace really is all there is. ARIES (March 21-April 19). Your feelings may get hurt when someone you trust disregards your needs. Get tough! Sometimes you have to fight for what you want, and this of one of those times. Your loveable personality will help you to mend fences after you win the battle. Friday is your lucky day. You may embrace an idea you once resisted. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Call that soul sister/brother who brings out your outrageous and spontaneous side. While you’re at it, plan a visit. You and your friend could both use a getaway, and it would give you a much-needed opportunity to let loose and relieve some stress. You’re especially compatible with Sagittarius. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). When an unpleasant situation seems to be taking over your good mood, it’s time to use diversionary tactics on yourself. You can turn an issue into a non-issue by focusing elsewhere. Find minted physicians who said they received 10 or more job solicitations during their training, according to a survey conducted by Merritt, Hawkins and Associates. “Brad Pitt,” “Brad Pitt downloads,” and Brad Pitt wallpaper, screen savers and pictures have of infecting their PCs with online threats such as spyware, spam, phishing, adware, viruses and other malware. Source: McAfee Inc. 80: Percentage who said 1.5 million: Estimated John MacIntyre a topic so juicy or an object so irresistible that you can’t help but become consumed with intrigue over the whole thing. CANCER (June 22-July 22). Creativity is king in your circle. Whether the task at hand has more to do with work or play, it’s all the same to you. You’re able to pull together an excellent group that includes those with opposing talents and wildly different aesthetics. It all adds up to a strange and wonderful mix of sensibilities. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). You’re wondering if you actually chose that thing in your life or if it was thrust upon you. It doesn’t matter which is true. It’s how you deal with it now. You’re strong, graceful and, when it comes down to it, much bigger than your problems. By Friday you’ll have made impressive progress. You’ll be proud of yourself. THIS WEEK’S BIRTHDAYS: Everyone wants a fairy godmother. This year you have one. It turns out that the magic person who will come and solve all of the problems is you. You’re thinking of changes, and then everything changes. You show the world a new side in October and get a second chance at a stellar opportunity in November. You’ll hear applause in December and give a repeat performance in January. A passionate interest takes over your personal life in the New Year. Business deals are sealed Continued on Page B4. Q A FIGURATIVELY SPEAKING HOROSCOPES BY HOLIDAY Week of Sept. 28 to preserve my turf. The name of the game was power! And not much has changed for today’s teenagers. Should schoolchildren be required to wear clothes that they dislike? Generally not. Children are very concerned about the threat of being laughed at by their friends, and will sometimes go to great lengths to avoid that danger. Teens, particularly, seem to feel, “The group can’t laugh at me if I am identical to them.” From this perspective, it’s unwise to make a child endure unnecessary social humiliation. Children should be allowed to select their own clothes, within certain limits of the budget and good taste. (Dr. Dobson is founder and chairman of the board of the nonprofit organization Focus on the Family, Colorado Springs, CO 80995(www.family. org). Questions and answers are excerpted from “Solid Answers” and “Bringing Up Boys,” both published by Tyndale House. Copyright 2008 James Dobson Inc. Distributed by Universal Press Syndicate.) 94: Percentage of newly they had received 26 or more solicitations. 40: Percentage who said they had received more than 50 job solicitations. number of teaching vacancies that will become available over the next decade, based on projections from the U.S. Bureau of Labor statistics. 6: Percentage who said they 42: Percentage of college- had received more than 100 job solicitations. Source: Merritt, Hawkins and Associates. 1, 2: Ranks of Brad Pitt and Justin Timberlake as the most dangerous men to seek on the Internet, according to McAfee’s list of celebrity names that produce the largest number of risky sites when searched for on the Web. 18: Percentage chance that fans searching for educated Americans ages 24 to 60 who would consider becoming a teacher, according to a national survey for the Woodrow Wilson National Fellowship Foundation. Source: Woodrow Wilson National Fellowship Foundation. 1, 2, 3: Ranks of sex (29 percent), nothing (22 percent) and money (21 percent) as the topics men selected that couples should talk about more, according to a nationwide survey from TRUE.com. 1, 2, 3, 4: Ranks of money (33 percent), nothing (29 percent), marriage (16 percent) and sex (15 percent) as the topics women selected that couples should talk about more. Source: True.com. 51: Percentage of em- ployees over the age of 18 who said they are worried about finding a new job if they lose their current one, according to “America at Work,” a national poll conducted by the Employment Law Alliance. 45: Percentage who are troubled by the increasing cost to workers of employersponsored health care plans. Source: Employment Law Alliance. 38: Percentage of finance and human resources managers who said that bringing in a candidate on a temporary basis provides the most insight into that person’s future job performance, according to a survey developed by Accountemps. 38: Percentage who de- scribed the in-person interview as their most valuable hiring tool. 6: Percentage who relied on the resume and cover letter. Source: Accountemps. 71: Percentage of hetero- sexual adults who agree that how employees perform at their job should be the standard for judging employees, not whether or not they are transgender, according to the “2008 Out and Equal Workplace Survey.” 68: Percentage of heterosexuals who feel that spouses of married heterosexual employees and committed partners of gay and lesbian employees both should receive leave rights for family and medical emergencies as outlined in FMLA. Source: Out and Equal Workplace. 2: Average percentage of all auto insurance shoppers that auto insurance companies quote and successfully sign, according to the J.D. Power and Associates study. 36: Percentage of auto insurance customers who have actively shopped for a new insurer in the past year. Source: J.D. Power and Associates. Idle Thought Puzzle answers on Page B4. “You can tell the ideals of a nation by its advertisements.” -- Norman Douglas, novelist (Copyright 2008 John MacIntyre Inc. Distributed by Universal Press Syndicate.) |