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Show DAILY UTAH CHRONICLE C2 August 2010 How to live and learn in college W hen I got the e-mail detailing this assignment, my first thought was, "No way, they're letting me give advice? I know they don't pay their lawyers nearly enough." Well, since they haven't revised their original plans, I hereby give you "The Most Unqualified Series of Self-Help Columns This Paper Could Potentially Run" or more simply, "Spiked Cider for the Incoming Freshman's Soul (And Every Other Appendage)." I only choose spiked cider because whiskey is an acquired taste, and one I suggest you acquire quickly—it sure can warm up the frigid Utah winters. Just make sure you acquire said taste outside the Residence Halls. Which brings me to my next point: If you are in the Residence Halls, find a friend who has a house. Like Jeremy Piven so wisely advises in the seminal college classic "PCU," "Do you have a car? Someone on your floor will. Find them and make friends with them on the first day." If you haven't seen "PCU," I advise watching it immediately. I'll wait for you to add it on Netflix. And now I'll wait for you to sign up for Netflix—rapping fingers on the table feigning annoyance. OK, moving on. If you don't have a house, find someone who does, and make friends with them on the first day. Now I know I have thrown a bunch of information at you, and if your mind is spinning, it's probably the article, not whatever you just happened to ingest, so calm down. That's another good thing to keep in mind: being high-strung is not flattering on anyone, save Philippe Petit. But Petit was a tight-rope master, a trade that is not as glamorous as it once was. I blame 3-D television and rock 'n' roll. But I digress. The Residence Halls will get tedious, tiresome, torrid and other \\i Senior, Mass Communication negative adjectives that begin with the letter 'T.' You will need a place of refuge. I chose Greek Row, which proved to be a blast. A great three years, but more in a "Porky's" or "Animal House" kind of way, rather than a "Cheaper by the Dozen" or "Mary Poppins" kind of blast. But then again, my house was shut down, and I have the battle scars to make my college experience slightly more palpable in my increasing age, so who is to say I did it the right way? The fact of the matter is, if you live at the Residence Halls, you will want to get away, and if you live in a house your first year, you will need friends at the Residence Halls. My next piece of advice might seem a little off base, but bear with me. Here it goes, but first take a deep breath and exhale noisily before you move on. Go to class. I know, it seems strange, maybe even—dare I say it—simple, but missing class in college is nothing like missing class in high school. It's easier. Mundane even. The romanticism of skipping class in high school gives way to the "Whoopsie-daisy, did I just sleep through my 1:25?" easily. In high school, you had to be like Alex Mack—the girl who turned into silver goo not unlike the Capri-Sun commercials—to ditch class, and that was when you had nowhere to go. As you can imagine, the tables have turned, and your smiling face is now a privilege in a classroom, Paul the Octopus: After his flawless predictions during the World Cup, U students adopted Paul for the upcoming fall semester. .....,___ .. vJ (LA-Oilio WILLUS BRANHAM/The Daily Utah Chronic) no longer state-induced mandate, and your instructors know this. So, no matter how hungover you might be, and trust me, there will be mornings or afternoons, when you are—we as a student body are not here to judge. Even if you resemble John Belushi more than John Locke when you walk into class in the morning, your professor will notice your presence before your appearance, and it goes a long way—especially in classes large enough to battle the population of Uruguay. If you show up, you don't miss anything. The idea is simple, in theory, but just wait for the first time you skip class without consequence, and then tell me it's simple. Don't be embarrassed to tell your Undergraduate Majors • • • • • • • • • Exercise & Sport Science •••••••••••••••••••••• an OUTSTANDING reputation in health care • Communication Sciences & Disorders education. Nutrition University 01 Utah sip •• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • COLLEGE OF HEALTH • & Education •• • •• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • pup.— wow — • • • • • • & Tourism • • ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• www.health.utah.edu 801-581-8379 .c ••••••••••••••••••••• • Physical Therapy • • •• ••••••• Do you enjoy helping others? • Do you think outside the box7 Would you like a rewarding career in healthcare? Disorders • Occupational Therapy • • • • • • • ;■ • • • • • • • • • • • • Communication •••••••••••••••••• '••• • I I • • • • o. / • • •• Health Promotion • Sciences & ••• • •••••••••••••••••••••••••••• •••••••• Parks, Recreation letters@chronicle.utah.edu Professional Programs The College of Health has ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• professors you missed class. They hear excuses all the time, so just cut the pitter-patter and tell them that you couldn't make it and find out what you missed. Maybe I should just change the title of the article to "Jack and Coke for the College Delinquent's Soul," but I doubt that would make it through standards. What is Occupational Therapij? Occupational Therapy makes it possible for people to live life to the fullest with a perfect blend of life science (anatomy & physiology) and social science (psychology & sociology). Many people face daily challenges - a refugee new to America, an injured worker returning to work, a 0 C C U P A T I 0 child with autism at school, a grandfather who has had a stroke, a young adult with a traumatic brain injury, a mother with depression. Occupational therapy provides skills for the job of living. Is O.T. right for me? To learn more about and the O.T. Program offered at the Universit y of Utah, visit: Occupational Theramj www.health.utah.edu/ot An occupational therapist should be resourceful, compassionate, a good listener, a creative problem-solver and interested in health, science and the arts. Occupational therapists also have a strong desire to aid others in bridging the gap between their inability and life fulfillment. Want to explore the profession of Occupational Therapj? OC TH 3000 : Intro to O.T. is A L T H E R A —0 offered every Fall & Spring Occupational Therapy may he tle career for you! P Y |