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Show WASATCH Dumb by Rick Brough ‘Is it really true that the Angel Ha, Ha! Moroni darnedest fall off the sure do ask the things, at least according recent article n The which delved into Salt Lake some of questions that are pitched to a Tribune, the to the touristand it’s Even true in this of age and E-mail, we still carry gross misconceptions about strange for- eign places. Lake, visitors still In Salt look for Mormon coats, elders, dressed in black being trailed by at least six Wives. On the other hand, we have no right to feel superior, I myself, still think that the typical Texan owns an oil well, wears AS a a string tie and talks like Chill Wills traveler, 1 “When they (if next the Crips New Empire scheduled claw roof intact? Can we see them?” With that in mind, of the most visitors City Q: Is skiing on the Id like to present important have Mr. Wasatch King Building, marks questions visiting This department area. “Ask may Bloods?” State the some Los “After leave that in and City) York fell off the did ask is the between ( f in Kong well could Angeles), rumble Or the Park I'd like to call, Backside.” either specifically sanc- He would had wanted have given and emotions in char- every way except for one tell-tale sign. They refused to take sides the Nancy Kerrigan/Tonya Q: Harding affair When Sundance going U.S. how in movies lo al the Film Festival here in Park do I find the movies that are “on the edge?” A: you Often, edge” film signs: -1- by The “Despite its underlying through.” can spot some of film guide grim subject humanity and 2- an of it, matter, humor as the Or 3- As its premiere, a shocktwist causes Egyptian months of first look skydiving. ing plot world an shines cinematic the the the following says It is described at “on the lesbian a woman Theater sitting in to give birth four prematurely. 3ut seriously folks, there are really no rules to find the most original, daring films. They come out of Sometimes, you're’ seemingly, who finds Sometimes, you discover (The director showed the the only a blue person, great a film. sensation du jour, Quentin Tarantino his first film at Sundance. was filmgoers ered “Hoop in Park City Dreams” W last he And ) disc year it wrote If this town them Q: Have today’s youth possibility of Utah discussed the getting typical posed TYPICAL why is it there's no place to park on busy is cool. Huh, A: So, we got City, expect to problems! do you meet If you somebody named screw and this is what Airport? hun, TYPICAL they an Heh, Y important achievement when #1: Q: they What is their next technological advancement? A: Artificial skiers! On visitorship to the gish, these lifelike androids on the slopes encouraging to real the mountain, resorts frolic where days are sent out and play, to get of the Hannah out on A: That to devel- and have escaped resorts. in “Blade (Sort ences don’t by Huh. No way. heh. Heh. up, huh. of like Runner. *) It is when Beavis. many guys would in light at a bulb the it said is because I'll that & the punch line will not be avail- Q: After the bobsled and lige run is kick Park Park City City the custom yanqui the northward refer- (promulglobemak- direction was team City, where head going south. to the into the Main south. up to Old Town, And of Capt. anomaly Picard, Trot. Gambling Tours Lodging Reservations Rides Helicopter Skiing Snowcat Skiing Concert Tickets > ce FREE information and eservations on activities, lodging ona transportation. Kirk, bobsled Spock, with Bones the other bobsled had Data, Geordi and you're Gene Autry, who, on a visit to Park City, PAGE Avoid quesswork-we only book with Park City’s most respected the and Capt ASK HOW YOU CAN ENJOY MANY OF OUR ACTIVITIES FOR FREE! Counselor ABC Which team would win? Reservations Central (801)-649-ABCD (2223) Visit our Information Center at 514 Main St, Park City times not to call in questions to this column. Q: Jve never understood the concept of the Biathlon. Q: If a new city was created in the what would it be called? A: ical Salt “Sandy Kearns In range, The suburb, etc. it cold Pines.” Taylorsville In The Mountains, 19 round, might Conifers, In be be In competition, about “Wolf possibility Lake be A: If the new city becomes a typ- One Meadow.” could singer ® A: I've told you Trekkies a thousand Street Thusly, north. influenced and one Snyderville area of Summit County, a wool if a tourist goes down to Albertson’s, they're headed between is “down.” is knocked upward This ~ & & Denver our Car Rentals + Fishing Trips —, & 2. v Reece it take to finished at Bear Hollow, suppose the first Scotty; follow of this you ~ LV Ye The Huh... imperialist in Park Sleigh Ride Dinners & Snowmobiling Up South.” able until Feb. 28.2 race ly direction is considered All Fora Good Time area his rendition of How control, generally considered “up” and a souther- cap Time the Heh, heh, heh. is ers) in which slopes is that these well- sculpted replicants have begun Daryl #2: Heh, Shut Why gated thus the action is. op a will of their own control when is a little slug- visitors The only problem the huh. upsets the laws of gravity? a consistent slope experience, even in dry years. Huh, City ski resorts scored began utilizing artificial snow to provide visiting Enjoypremium quality and the best p heh, heh. T #1: The Olympics Huh. YOUTH sucks. your ass. Huh, The Park was huh. Olympics Brigham? Q: The Louis 2002 the issue to a pair of YOUTH Huh, huh, visit immediately Of Way A: Due to circumstances beyond is called “Park City,” weekends? Brigham “South Ow that youngsters als® It’s Sleepy Q: A: We ditty, Mexico he first performed ‘When Olympics? longer feet. Up Armstrong huh?) humans to ski, western 3order, said: Q: the OV- Neat-o when tioned or prohibited by the Bible? A: If God acteristics City, Visitors Bureau Yes, These androids display human weird meisters at the Salt Lake Convention FAXes, modems Open til 8:00 pm. Serving Caravall. No topless dancers. Ski Team the world will Tourists Backside even rumored that several joined the U.S when top of the LDS Temple? frock TIMES Questions About Park City? Ask Mr. Wasatch ends, MOUNTAIN 300 this physically challenging athletes are asked to ski for miles. they fire You mean Then, at in the targets on second a rifle called Other options The Timber, Murray In The Q: point these people ski to the of exhaustion and then given loaded weapons? A: Yes, that’s the idea. @ they're |