| OCR Text |
Show i SMILED AT THE Woodbury, Fotheringham & Co. WHOLESALE AND RETAIL WRONG TIME. Overabundant Sense of Humor Times Proves Costly. EARTH- fenxemore - Voung Lawyer Himself Again with Familiar Style cf Address. at The following When "laugh and tin world laugh I with you" was written, the author took no thought of the autocratic ones of anocdoir. aft.r Attorney-at-Laj COURTEOUS TREATMENT TO ALL OUR PRICES ARE RIGHT . .For the Best. Mines, Xiquovs, JtamMcs and Cigars, drop in at Saloon 3. E; HDcHula?, prop. It is related that the present czar of Russia, returning once from a long Journey, was weary and in no mood to I e trifled with. As he was passing through his apartments he slipped on a bearskin mat that lay on the polished floor. Clutching at one of his attendants, he nearly brought himself and his supitort to the floor, llaron Knldoff, at the time a confidential adviser, could not check a smile, which his monarch turned Just in time to observe. The next day j Then shop, a downtown barlior iliiv or two ago. a man who it ,wai.tU.t. Pool and Milliard Table in Foreign Imported Liquors. nection. Large and commodious accommodations for the venience of tourists and traveling men. concon- llf . .... Reaver. Utah nE. B. had riiiiihid down from the water wagon in muko room for those who GRF.ES WOOD desired son is. He fit 'we in and looked aboul him genially. The Ui.v came up to him tc take his coat and hat, but ho cm-- , tinued to just look alumr him and size things up. He wore good clothes, and the eight-dagrowth on his countenKnldoff was dismissed from his of- ance didn't harmonize, but If he want' fice, and lost the fCO.OOO attached io ed a shave he didn't seem In any rush the post. about it. He just looked around. In tl.e third chuir was a man with Another ruler who is not to be trifled with la Wlllium of Germany. Gough one nf those big bushy, drooping walremark: Mllbanke, a clever but bluff Scot, who rus niiisiuelies. That mustache wonted Mr. Sinithers. 1 believe it. will ho PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON was an eiiert In colonial adiuinlstra-- i to catch the eye of the soused one. look He was to walked over once a better tion, taken up by the kaiser, get Office at Tanner House court If you will address us In the who wished his advice on eastern af-- at It. free same von and informal that way Milford Ulah Infairs, and had decided to give him "Why doiitchul) cut It nff?" lie an important position to guard Ger-- quired of the burlier. Then he put a doubtless use in addressing your local man interests in China. At one of aimilui query to the inau lu the cliair. Justice of the iieace." "Well, then," replied Smithera, ' 1 their conferences the kaiser made an Why don't you have him chop it off, absurd suggestion as to eastern dtplo-- ! so you'll look like somebody?'' he sug- wish that while I am busy alleviating your honor's dense ignorance of the macy. Mllbanke laughed. The em- - gested. The man in the chair looked around law, you would keep your d d mouth percT wished him a frigid good night, and never received him again. at him: "What are you talkin' about?" shut!" The court laughed heartily and waved for him to proceed, lie Another 8cottlsn administrator, Dun-- ! be asked. grew eloquent and won Ills ease In the can McVea, was advising the late pleasYou know very well what Im talkant but touchy king of Portugal, who in' aliout,'' says the soused one. "I'm midst of hearty applause. The had planned to put the shaky govern- talkin' aliout that wild gratia. Why The place to go alien you ment of the Cape Verde islands in the don't you have the man go over it want a smooth, hands of this skillful manager. his with The Painted from Life. scythe?" Tim barber was disposed to be good king became much excited, and made monk who the acts.aa The guide to ludicrous botch of his English, which natured with the visitor, as he seemed Shave or Hair Cot that visit the old mismany was usually excellent. McVea smiled harmless enough, and probably outlie sion atpeople Santa Barbara. ChL, is a pic' audibly, aud was promptly ordered In to get work done. Therefore he turesque and interesting figure. In also shampoos, hair t inging away. He was never appointed to the made no effort to chase hli.i away. Ills brown rolie of heavy, coarse mateand everything in tho barber The stranger went on to observe: rial. a rosary hung at the cord licit, governorship, which carried a salary business. Shop on First Street of $25,000. the "It wouldn't take a minute for and the cowl thrown back from his in Baxter Rooming house man to clip It off." Is in strange closely cropped head, he The Thirsty Veteran. "Say, what are you talking aliout? contrast to the fashionably dressed demanded the one in the chair again. visitors. He allows a pardonable pride The pitiful poverty of the army What do you want with such a In the mission nntl all Us contents, on whose behalf Earl Roberts makes an appeal, has developed In thing anyway?" went on the other oue The mirinsltles which remain from the time of Mexican rule iir California, the some of them a subtle keenness in se- Irrelevantly. The man In the chair merely gave exquisite drawn-woraltar cloths and curing for themselves those little lux uries which want of money prevents him a look of disgust, but the other the mural decorations are pointed out them from obtaining in tie ordinary one kept right on: 'Til pay the man In a manner appronching reverence. way. An aged hero of the Crimean to dip it off for you If you want me Although he Is occasionally inexact In his descriptions, he Is sincere, and war and Indian mutiny, who resided in to." . The owner of the miiRtache demand- his naivete is so amusing that It a remote village In Scotland, was one are would lie a carping, small-smilecritic day interviewed by a party of gentle- ed once more: Say, fellow, what at, anyway?" you getting that would take Issue with him. men on an outing. They listened with Aw," snapped the pickled one, "you Concerning one of the paintings In Interest to the story of the old man's All kiwis of (Inuring handled with care d share In the cam- think I don't know what it la, eh? I the rhurch.'he once said to a party ml iironiiKnt iut. (Iwhlt di livmrJ hi v I want to of tourists: If know what is all it right. after him paigns, and, prothauking pliuf in tlie town. Your alr:uigu in It what la a tell. a that's This of It's the mustache, Virgin picture mil idled. fusely, were about to'depart, when the Is. Why don't you have it cut off?" Mary, painted from life by Murillo." aged warrior suddenly remarked: And then he walked out without 'There's another thing, gentlemen, even getting a shave. Cleveland Plain I can that recall to mind. "Ah, In' Dealer. Great Water Power In Brazil. deed! What Is that?" eagerly asked Consul George A. Chamberlain of the tourists, expecting to hear a most Pernambuco sends a comprehensive Could Have Had It, Andy." interesting reminiscence. of the Taulo Affonso fails description A writer on a morning dally saya a "Gentlemen," said the veteran In ImSan Francisco river, situated and the Build ou a for pressive tones, "1 weel remember that Wall street man Is responsible of Brazil. The falls are in that part I was Just as thirsty during the whole this: "Did you ever hear of a man los 230 miles from either Pernambuco, lng $100,000,000 In cold cash because which has a of the battle of Ikerman as I am now! of 200,000, or population The party took the hint. Dundee Ad he forgot to ask for it?" asked a vet- Bahia, with 230,000 people. The aver man. there stock eran Well, exchange vertlser. volume of the river Iq 1,000 cubic Is such a man," he continued, "and Ills age meter 35.310 cubic name Is Andrew Carnegie. When the meters (one ruble Famous Character Is Dead. between Jatolia and second, per feet) Dalrd of Sklbo sold out his steel Inter and Piranhas, a distance of about GO An interesting personality has just ests to J. P. $300,000,-00he Morgan got 756 feet, 400 of which passed away at Brighton, England, in in 5 per cent, bonds for bis prop- inileB, the fall la in the rapids, extending takes William Oliver, marquia de Leuvllle. erties. You know place that, don't you? about 15 mllea. This vast Of striking though somewhat eccentric undeveloped Cosy ami Comfort able Shortly after the steel corporation was appearance, the marquia was in his put into working order Carnegie and water power will become In time the younger days an exceedingly hand- Morgan were on their way to Europe nucleus of a great Industrial circle. A new cotton mill Is being erected near some man. Both the early and latter on the same steamer. Suddenly Car part of his life was spent In England negie said: John, dont you know I Icnndo, and there are a few other but for many years he resided in think that I ought to have got $100, small factories using this power, but with hot and cold Bath in France and Italy, and was a master 000,000 instead of $300,000,000 for niy these little establishments are almost connection. of the languages of both countries. Of holdings? Morgan looked at him with nothing compared to the Industries a naturally amiable disposition, he was that cold and sinister expression he which the great river should foster. quick to resent affront. A skillful always carries on his face when he shot, and a more skillful swordsman, Is about to say something particularly he was the hero of several exciting soothing, and replied: Well, Andy, 20 Milford, Utah fjeffernon s. IPhone duels, while his remarkable encounter i' y0Q could have had It. " with a certain prince In Hyde Park some years ago, when he left his carThe Beggar Talked Shop. riage to horsewhip publicly the de"I've asked more'n a hundred people tainer of a lady with whom his name was then associated. Is still fresh In for the price of a cup of coffee the public memory. As a writer of said the beggar, approaching a man in si wet the other evening. verse he was far above the average, Thirty-sixtAnd how many cups of coffee did as the several editions of his book, "Entre'Nous," will testify. Among the you win?" Inquired the victim, handing numerous songs published under Ills over a dime. name perhaps the most successful was "Honest," replied the beggar, "thats I took in "The First Kiss, which ran into some- the first dime I've got a whole lot o' pennies an' a few nick- thing like 100,000 copies. els, hut that's the first dime. Every j time there's hard limes us folks Is the A Tragedy. first to feel it. People's alius generous A Mr. Nosmo King was questioned To ns when they've got. money, hut about the oddity of his Christian when theyre pinched we poor folks is name. most alius turned down. An' it aln t mothj "It is this way." he said; "my And ivew.mchow. er made a point of giving all of h.r off as happy is lie shuffled beggar I was names. three children unusual man who Is allowed to talk E. months old before she found one fm ordinary for few minutes without being a shop while One me that she liked. day, of a i Interrupted. New York Globe. out shopping, she saw on one-hal- f while word door 'Nosmo,' the swinging the other half bore 'King,' her own Champion Layer. name. "Wliat are you going to do with llmt 'Xosmo King.' she noted mentally, turtle?" asked thn tourist not perceiving that the letters spell'd loggerhead in Florida. no smoking' when tho doors were "Going to send it to President rinsed: hence niy lifelong affliction." Roosevelt," responded the old waterHarper's Weekly. man. "I I'm! Don't you think it would lx more Man's Endless Quest. appropriate to send him a stassssst? As a great preacher once said: liear?" 1 "No, I'm going to amid 'him this "Man is continually looking fur bis lost inheritance of happiness, which old turtle liecauae she is so opjmsrd the allegory of the Garden of Eden to race suicide. Just laid 3!l eges, it Over twenty conscmiiive years in active servi e in the barber bu..iin lie knows 11 exists for by gosh." prefigures, him somewhere, and he is ever knock 3 Up-To-D- ate Weather or Not. lng. knocking generally at the wrong ambition, of selfishness, greed, 1 door, A Germantown woman discovert lust, all sorts of foolish doors: and wo me morning recently that her mai call hia mb taken seeking by a nanc Nora had broken the thermometer that -Sin.' " o hung in the reeei tlon hall. z Well, Nora," sighed the tnf stress cf tho house, in a resigned way, "you've u Oil Fuel for Warshipa. or Chicago, fit and quality nna ranter-, 4 managed to lir'ak the ihonuomeU-rThe llilllsh inlinirali.v is considerS ing the jsisaihllity of supplanting mid haven't you?" a in the maid, muni," tic replied "Yis, with oil in the mosquito" licet, And. now. 'J: A imp equally resigned. swiftest o' England's war boats. the wrath IjmttM to take have we'll V ".w ei or would tiiinn, jist steauieis lank ;.;i naval fleet q.io.w i.uix.xtiii .(Acq Vt. (,1.UII.) oq oj ke p the (piiis supplied. it as It comes'.''- -' Ilaipcrs Weekly. j . y f S. J. Front Street, Opposite Passenger Depot w ..f, (,,llr. dialhi- - i and aftnwiud guislied utomey iiein an up country diMiict of Now York state wan arguing his first appeal in tie' old genet al term of stiin cine court. Ho had been In many legal sirimmagos in justices' courts, at home, but had ncv r Mood In the awesome presence of five sedate and h anted judges of the cum l, iu general term assembled. )jt emliavrabsivicnt was great EYES EXAMINED n ,t'I"'aU'd himself and misplaced hi words so often that it was quite evi- Office Hours: P to 11 a. in., 2 to I p. m. dent that he must soon he routed by and 1hone 31 by appointment, his own confusion unless something should occur to break the spell. Milford, Utah oiindm- - Flatiron Hl'k ua 1K,nal1lv 1,1 a chao,lc Jun,Up ,,f the language and Ideas, the presiding C. HUNTER, M. D. judge Interrupted with the following tc Object Which Offended His Sense of Beauty. -- wm , ro- - niiiiniiig in Murage many years!, has been rtctniiy duett d and (nought to light. jrforfc P0WN T0 HIM the earth who cannot see themselves Gentleman Temporarily Off the Water light; A young Wagon Referred Disparagingly in anything apprcuichluK a ridiculous Meats, Groceries, Vegetables, Hay and Grain XCbe BR0LCHT READY WITH ADVICE WALKER TONSORIAL ARTIST tc I vet-eran- e, j EARLE THE : PAINTER FOR ALL KINDS OF Morg Stoddard k Dray and House and Sign Painting Express Line above-mentione- WALL FULL LINE OF PAPER ALWAYS ON HAND let MATHEWS Modern Home Ideal Hardwall Plasters and Fiber Portland Cement Forgie Hotel 0 rtfotlfoib Xumbev Go. ' Lumber, ....R O O Wholesale and Bctail Dealers in Mouldings, Timbers Minins and Windows Doors and all kinds of Building Material Rock Springs and Castle Gate Coal M S.... REASONABLE RATE ilo. Beds and Well Ventilated Rooms at the Clean, h Comfortable j Builders Pl"" Hardware, Lath Blocks and Pickets to-da- I j ; ; Baxter , rh "e Rooming House C. BAXTER. Prop. Milfrod Livery and Transfer Co. McCarrel & Moore, vUCanagers Xivei'E ant jfeeb Stables flood Saddle Horses for ladies and gentlemen. Divided skirls furnished for ladies. Ore and Machinery Hauling Heavy Team Work a Specially 6oo& iTios anb Carcul Telephone No-3- 0 Drivers Located in the business center of town, opposite the passenger depot Shaves j All 5 j. 1 Milford, Utah The News Tells It j LOANS and Clothing Made by (Jllman & Company CHAS. C. KIZERf |
