Show D4 The Salt Lake Tribune ATTITUDE Sunday July 24 1994 End discrimination: Register single sons for dishes at department store I have always been a little bitter about the advantages this society heaps upon women at the expense of men Weddings for instance They begin with the groom dressed in a deliberately drab tuxedo standing at the head of the church like a piece of the furniture There is no grand entrance for him no fanfare nothing to indicate the jerk is anything special because he isn't But when the bride is ready to come out and monopolize the spotlight the organ or the piano or the orchestra or two cousins on kazoos strike up the wedding fanfare "Here comes the bride" And there at the back of the church in a gown that cost almost as much as a good used pickup truck stands Her Magnificence all radiant and white and trium- BILL HALL -- f 'fo 41gE '4 1 4 34: Iiii1:- be the center of attention and radiant in his fashion if be ever got the chance Any time you see a system constantly favoring one kind of humanity you know who is writing those rules It's the good 'ol girls network Similarly it is married people — primarily female married people — who decided that only married people should leave their names at the local department store with a list of which dishes and silver they would like to have people buy for them phant I have never been to a wedding where the groom got equal atten- tion And it isn't something like childbirth something that only a woman can do A man also could The catch is that you don't have to be married to want to throw a dinner party now and then Indeed it has been my experience that men who learn to cook and serve a dinner are more likely to end up married But when I was single I had to buy my own dishes The unwritten rules did not permit me to leave my name and table setting preferences at the local department store so that I could invite friends to a reception in honor of my remaining single and have them shower me with presents of my choosing The rules said you had to get married to pull off that little scam Granted that can be useful to anyone who needs a gift idea for married people When we can't think of a Christmas present for our daughter and her husband there is always a place setting of La Fancy Schmantsy or whatever they call that pattern But that doesn't take care of the other kids especially the unmarried ones Or so the rules used to say We Van Gogh's buds sunflowers — are I hope new dishes work as well for him as they did for me When! was single I got tired of waiting to find some woman who already had a quality set of dishes And I got tired of eating out of saucepans I figured if I didn't pamper myself nobody would So I bought a classy set of dishes I wrote about it at the time and one of the local women read it She realized that I was available and could cook She looked me up It turns out she was just the pattern I had been looking for I married her of course I had to stand at the head of the church in a dark suit looking like a geek while she marched triumphantly down the aisle And I'll always wonder if she didn't marry me for my dishes just broke the rules One of our single sons has bought a house He is gradually turning it into a home And now that he is getting the kitchen stocked he is ready to show his stuff as a cook We want to encourage that because the way to a woman's heart is through an elegant set of dishes with pizza on them But he has the usual bachelor assortment of variety store plates and glasses some of which match and many of which aren't plastic We took him to the department store and at gunpoint made him choose — and register — a pattern married or not The department store people didn't mind in the least They welcome money from any quarter When his birthday rolled around we called the department store and ordered a place setting of his fancy new dishes and had them wrapped and left waiting for him in the branch of the department store in the town where he lives Talk about easy shopping Bill Hall is the editorial-pag- e editor of the Lewiston (Idaho) Tribune a Salt Lake Tribune group newspaper sprouting like weeds II Continued from D-- 6 101111111111 example of how sunflowers have saturated consumer culture tour of the store's sunflower-relate- A d corknick- products covers every ner and offers enough knacks to fill a boxcar: sunflower-patterneties wreaths with silk with prints of sunflowers d antique sunflowers greeting cards and packets of seeds for five types of sunflowers In certain sections of the store there are small framed signs pointing out that a product is new The word "new" is printed above an image of you guessed it — a sunflower Perhaps they should rename it The Sunflower Company Michelle Blanch° who works at a Nashville Nature Company outlet says she is from Kansas "The Sunflower State" Yet nearby — in the same Tennessee mall — in a Williams-Sonomstore they are selling an entire line of ated dishes noting that sunflowers are "a symbol of Proa --11rrie- mr-- Patrilineally my line goes like this with birth years in parentheses: Terence Day (1983) Lyle Keith Day (1909 Charles C Day (1867) and currently deadends with John Day (about 1790) in Virginia In this classic patrilineal organization each generation buries the matrilineal line My umbilical line is very different It goes like this: Eva L Willis (1916) Celestia Eva Pettit (1894) Eve Wilding (1870) Mary Elizabeth Layne (1832) Lucinda Bybee (1805) Jerusha Emmeline Atkinson (1872) and ends in my records with Nancy Taylor (about 1750) in Kentucky Unfortunately none of the forms I've seen and none of the computer programs let us display genealogy this way: woman on top But you can try a little umbilical genealogy without much trouble Just put the women's names in the male places Of course if you do this in your computer you'll want to create a separate database so you won't contaminate your existing one You'll have to y data for this experiment because I don't think any software program is going to let you perform this sex change operation with marriage links in place Why would you want to create an umbilical pedigree? The possibilities are many A matrilineal chart aids genetic studies for one thing For me the value in creating an umbilical pedigree chart is to give emphasis to the women in our family trees Mothers are every bit as important as fathers As genealogists often note maternity is much more certain than paternity Let's not let our women ancestors always be buried on the bottom G EN EALOGY 1 f Aft- 4 P 4 70'-o'- ' l' I TERENCE L DAY Umbilical genealogy traces the women in your family tree Looking for a change of pace in genealogy? A little something to sharpen your focus on your ancestral women? Why not give umbilical genealogy a try? Umbilical genealogy — or matrilineal genealogy — comes down from mother to daughter Patrilineal genealogy which is the way genealogy has been organized traditionally comes down from father to son In a sense of course we can't do genealogy without including matrilineal lines but the umbilical connections are buried at every generation under the fathers Every pedigree chart I've ever seen puts men on the top re-ke- lines and women beneath well let's them where they not start a war here over feralnist philosophy Suffice it to say the way we do genealogy makes men appear more important than women Letting the women be on top provides a very different perspective Let me illustrate the principles from my own genealogy which is what I know and love best Except in older generations of Scandinavians whose surnames changed each generation in patrilineal genealogy the surname remains the same all the way back to the origin of Condoms offer best protection — beyond abstinence Dear Ann: Everybody is terrified of AIDS You have said repeatedly that the only safe sex is NO sex You have also said that this is not realistic for some and have suggested condoms How reliable are condoms? I'm a sexually active male I've had condoms break leak and come off How can you recommend them? — On Tenterhooks in Tennessee Dear Tennessee: I've stated that abstinence is the only sure guarantee against pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases I have also stated that for some abstinence is not a realistic alternative and for those I have recommended condoms I turned your letter over to David Satcher director of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in Atlanta Here are his comments: - '71 '4 ld '' 'tt 1' 1 ' le k 4 '1 r7a4k-I' e''' ''''egk 1 ': A 'L itA 10"k 4 ' al: t pOC 1 ' t 11Y - y‘L posure to the virus by 10000 times "Two recent studies have been conducted with a total of 550 couples in which one person was infected with HIV and the other was not Among those who did not use condoms or did not use them every time 11 percent became infected But among the 294 couples reporting consistent condom use 1 percent became infected — none out of 123 couples in one study and three of 171 couples in the other "Those three infections could have been caused by user errors When condoms slip break or leak user error — not product failure — is usually the problem "The CDC has developed a brochure in English and Spanish on how to use a condom properly Free copies are available by calling (800) "Refraining from sexual activity is the only sure way to prevent HIV infection However latex condoms are highly effective when used consistently and "Scientific evidence demonstrates that latex condoms when used consistently and correctly are highly effective in stopping HIV the virus that causes AIDS The Food and Drug Administration requires manufacturers to test every batch of condoms made The FDA also regularly tests condoms to be sure they meet stringent quality standards Samples representing millions of condoms have shown that the average batch tests better than 997 342-AID- percent defect-fre- e "The FDA and other researchers have shown that latex condoms are an effective barrier to viruses including HIV and the much smaller virus hepatitis B In one set of laboratory tests the FDA subjected condoms to unrealistically strenuous conditions such as virus concentrations 100 million times higher than found in infected people Even under these conditions researchers concluded that condoms would reduce ex Quartzsite Ariz and stopped at a rest area to check on my husband who was very sick A trucker who was on vacation was parked close by and asked what was troubling me It must have been apparent that I was upset I told him I had to get my husband to Blythe Hospital 29 miles away He offered to drive our motor home while his wife drove their car behind us They stayed with me at the hospital saying I should not be alone After an hour the doctor said my husband had the flu I knew it had to be something more deadly than that It was He died a few days later from a staph infection I was so upset I didn't think to give the trucker money for gas I hope he sees this and realizes how much he and his wife helped me May God bless them both for their kindness — Sally in Yucca Valley Calif Dear Sally: These days when we hear so much about man's inhumanity to man it's reassuring to receive a letter like yours It would be wonderful if the good Samaritans you described read this column recognized themselves and wrote to let me know ODD Gem of the Dar Having fun is a S lot like insurance The older you get the more it costs rrirl-- i fl :' i it -- "'IC S 4 T Tern-pi- D - 7 lk cz 4 ULIk-- 4 lItt 0 ' 11 - ' 4 i f 0 1111111110 'JAVA(' ri Fabulous Coffee Espresso Italian Sodas Pastries and Non-Ca- ff Drinks! a huge arrayaof hot tie balloon THIS GRAND 2 (&01) TAYLORSV1LLE 963-599- 9 D ' VISA MASTERCARD cartons factory-seale- d ' i it I TP WM CZNTEM 36 SCAM1 STATE 41 SANDY ' ATM SOO a ! - SOUTH 920 EAST KAM 4742 souni WY irx EAST 5 228-1E3- 1 0 ' 11: ' —- 1 a welcome 2 WOXE JAVA ePECLALTY DIUNKS FOR THE PRICE OF ONE! 1899 W 4700 8 A 577711- - r J 25-ye- ar warranty PRICE WITH THIS AD $187 — REFERENCE RETAIL $449 Your check or cash or terms IS WORTH CZC DOW OF EQUAL OF 1123ER VALUE) EXP 113194 TAYLORSVIIII SiiOnl ONLY r"77 professional or school room sewing isL aa r""0"'"'"--""w- old-fashion- ed Ode civet Stok City OPENNG COUPON II 0 Due to a massive overstock situation NUTTALL BERNINA is offering for sale to the public a limited number of new White Zig Zag sewing machines that are made of METAL and sew on all fabrics: Levis canvas upholstery nylon stretch vinyl silk EVEN SEWS ON LEATHER! No attachments needed for button holes (any size) monograms hems sews on buttons satin stitches overcasts darns appliques and more Just set dials and see magic happen cams or programmers These without HEAVY DUTY MACHINES are suitable for home PIM Register 10 ssor I: 4 ---1 Brand new in twasestWill van MIT 419 7 RED-- 167X 5 RD LAYTON 21 EAST GENTLE 1 "' ' 1 A b 2 ri OGOB4 2318 MASeNMCTOA n24581 AMERICAN FO RS 53 tors KAM 756-222- 3 4 i isommatimassisaimo" Brandon & Sheri Bartley—von Rosenvinge Wilson—Bingham Mr and Mrs William Clark Bartley of Kaktovik Alaska (fortherY of Salt Lake Oty) announce the marriage of their daughter Donna Alison to Tycho Tor-bevon Rosenvinge the son of Mr and Mrs Tycho Tor von Rosenvinge of Bowie Maryland A graduate of Olympus High School the bride is the granddaughter of Mrs Harold Tad of Holladay The ceremony was performed by Judge John L Sandberg uncle of the bride at The Homestead in Midway Utah followed by dinner and dancing The bride and groom are graduates of Boston University Both the bride and groom are presently working on their doctoral degrees at the University of Pennsykrania the bride in political science and the groom in physics Following their honeymoon in Greece the couple will return to Philadelphia Wilson and Brandon BingSheri ham will exchange vows July 26 1994 in the Salt Lake LDS Temple A reception in their honor will be held that evening at the Colonial House The bride a daughter of Mr and Mrs Jim (Diane) Wilson is completing a degree in Broadcast Journalism at the U of U where she also was a cheerleader for two years The groom a son of Ms Judy Bingham has received his Associate degree in addition to playing college baseball He will continue his studies in Business Administation also at the U of U n 6 01111MMIEN tif:S ft I TA great-grandchildr- alniENE021 - n ki 4 ft I e They will celebrate their Golden Wedding Anniversasy at an Open House July 28 1994 hosted by their seven children 32 grandchil- at the dren and two Winder West Stake Center 1250 East 4530 South from pmFriends are invited to at- tend No gifts please - kr Wayne arid Bernice Ursenbach were mar- ried July 27 1944 in the Logan LDS ' f01 i II Mr & Mrs Tycho von Rosenvinge ii -1 1 rirk-i-fmp-- 1 1 ski i GOLDEN WEDDING WAYNE AND BERNICE URSENBACH ti 115 wrc) i 041 "I'' if A GOT g ( Iit ORO l A There are other sunflower and items at Williams-Sonom- a Nashville store employee Lee Ann Merrick confirms that it's the pervasive motif of the moment "We don't have a muffin mold for it yet" Merrick says The sunflower madness has art direceven hit country-musi- c tion Trisha Yearwood's new album "The Song Remembers When" features numerous photos of the singer surrounded by sunflowers Guess what many of her fans are now placing onstage at her shows! Eventually of course this madness will subside Folks will get tired of those cute yellow flowers and find some other image to plaster all over every noun known to mankind "We're growing them We're wearing them We're sending them in the mail" says The Nature Company's Blanch° "People come in for gifts and we see people who are collecting sunflower things What the big deal is I don't know" She says last year's design craze was wolves and another recent frenzy was Holstein cows She proposes the perfect object trend item: "What we need is a Holstein holding a sunflower" Blanch() says ' 4 France Kansas vs southern this means war )11 11 Dear Ann: When I read the column about the trucker who saved a young man's life by blowing his horn and waking Lim up I decided maybe I could through your column thank a Bakersfield ty at Washington State vence" k it V 090 Terence L Day genealogist and journalist is on the facul- surnames trucker who was very kind to me It was February 1983 I was driving our motor home through ANN UNDERS L sunflower-decor- WEDDINGENGAGUIENT In raM F AD INFORMATION To place your WeddingEngagernent ads in The Salt Lake Tribune and Deseret News a wecldinglengagement form needs to be completed They are available at the following location: Salt Lake 143 So Main Street at the front counter of the Tribune Building Monday thru Friday 8 am to 5 pm Completed forms can be submitted at the same location Monday Tuesday and Wednesday between the hours of 8 am- 5 pm The deadline to meet your desired Sunday publication is Monday 7 days prior to run date Both wedding and engagement announcements will be 12700 per column inch 2 inches wide by 1 inch deep) Pictures are optional but minimum sizes are 1 inch without pidure 3 inches with pitlure If you need more information please call 2372911 and our sales representative will assist you A - L ) 'I "I'- -' 2' 1 1 is A 1 - ilift 1 A " A 1 Mike & Henson—Gysi Michael G Gygi will take Ude Henson as his bride in the sah Lake LDS Temple on July 29 1994 Parent of the bride are Mr and Mrs L Dean Henson of Magna Mr and Mrs Gerald A Gygi of Holladay are the groom's parents The Joseph Smith Memorial Building is the setting for a wedding luncheon The will be honored at a reception that couple evening at the Cobnial House t 4 |