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Show Splendid -shopping weather gel ready for Christmas! Beware of a roeek-looklng man or mule. It may not last. Some men smile In the face of adversity, ad-versity, but they don't mean It. Perhaps a girl's red hair Is for the purpose of keeping her temper warm. Many a married man spends the rest of his days wondering why ha did It. Most people manage to get stuck on themselves without the aid of any adhesive. Compared with the Balkans affair Mexico's war looks like the comio opera kind. Sometimes a man tries to please his wife just the opposite way he would any other woman. The trouble with the man who says a smart thing is that he always books it for a return date. A southern aviator who Jumped from a biplane proved that it cannot be successfully done. We may be sure that It is a wise hen which eats a cement floor in order or-der to lay hard-shelled eggs. - The discovery that typhoid fever Is carried also by bugs and roaches adds a few more things to be swatted. Eloping in an aeroplane accomplishes accomplish-es the seemingly impossible by increasing in-creasing the hazard of matrimony. That the stingless bee is the precursor pre-cursor of the singless mosquito is the earsest prayer of New Jersey people. November has no hay fever, ,no Christmas rush, and no spring-freshets. Yet very few poets sing its praise. New York's barroom for women is variously considered. Some Innocent Inno-cent observers are envious and some are not. . About the only thing that can be said for the eclipse of the moon is that - one may watch it and smoke at the same time. A Texas woman left $100,000 for the support of old maids. But how are they going to be convicted of being old maids? r Nobody denies that automobiles are becoming cheaper, but then one cannot can-not eat even the costliest cuts of an automobile. That man who pleads for anesthetics anesthet-ics for rats would probably want chloroform chlo-roform administered to the fly before swatting him. A story from Chicago says there are calves there worth $5,000. That's nothing; noth-ing; there are calves on Fifth avenue. New York, worth $5,000,000. The dictates of fashion has put the ban upon switches and puffs. We will soon know what our best girl really looks like without her disguise. ' There are some things we do not understand. One of them Is the mad and almost universal desire to change the color of a meerschaum pipe. A Los Angeles youngster stood on his head on the top of skyscraper to "lest.Jais nerve." He was arrested for shattering the nerves of passers-by. passers-by. - A taxlcab in AthenB, according to an exchange, is called a polipolytan-tocinetharmoxaxe. polipolytan-tocinetharmoxaxe. That's what a taxi chauffeur is called In this country when he presents his bill. Milk makes an excellent tonic for . the hair, according to the prima donna who discovered the $15,000 lump of ambergis. Those press agents dp have to work hard for their money. Beef Is probably going higher, but rabbits will soon be on the market At the same time they will not be widely popular until someone invents a device to dig shot out of the teeth. A playful person threw a melon into a passing taxlcab in Brooklyn the oth-er oth-er night. Many an actor along the great white way is praying that rnel-ons rnel-ons do not become popular substitutes for hen fruit. America's oldest doctor says modern phyBicians are not much better on cures than the healer of a half century cen-tury ago. But the old fashioned doctor doc-tor didn't have all the ailments and . diseases to treat they have nowadays, i |