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Show SUITOSS" OF 'ggmml jk jiarkis fcJlvl! mmsM Iff (J kX vj MELISSA'S VOTE IS NOT CAST FOR MR. MICKSER. "Melissa!" exclaimed Mrs. Merri-wid's Merri-wid's maternal maiden aunt Jane, with some excitement, "I declare if they haven't taken down those horrid billboards! " "U-huh," responded Mrs. Merriwld, yawning slightly under cover of her shapely little hand; "I mentioned them to Alderman Mlckser last night." "And they're not only cleaning the alley every morning, they're sweeping it," Aunt Jane continued. Mrs. Merriwid regarded her rosy i f'r.gernails thoughtfully. "Is that all?" she asked. "I had an Idea that they might put down mosaic tiling. I'm rather disappointed in Mr. Mlckser." "Not to speak of the arc light at the corner and having a policeman put to patrol our part of the avenue," Aunt Jane concluded, a note of triumph tri-umph in her voice. "If Mr. Mickser were really devoted, he'd patrol the avenue in the stilly batches of the night, himself," said Mrs. Merriwid. "My heart begins to tell me that he's only a four-flusher after all." "Well, as I've remarked before, you are hard to please," said Aunt Jane. "I should think It would be highly gratifying to have everything done for you the moment you express a wish. It isn't every woman whose admirer, however devoted, Is in a position of such power as to enable him to do such things." "That is no premeditated falsification," falsifica-tion," admitted Mrs. Merriwid. "You rang the little bell that time, dearie. Mr. Mickser certainly has something of a drag. I believe when he adjusts his block and tackle to a public service serv-ice corporation and leans his manly bulk against the windlass, he usually fetches something. At the same time, 1 he has no hooks attached to little Melissa, auntie dear." "I don't exactly understand what you mean," said Aunt Jane, "but I mean that there Is a brilliant political career open to him. He may be our next mayor, and then governor, and he may be sent to the United States senate, there's no telling, and even become president." "I Buppose you open your windows and air the room thoroughly after you've been Indulging, and that's why I never suspected it before," said Mrs. Merriwid. "What brand do you smoke, dearie?" "Is there anything , to prevent him?" asked Aunt Jane, defiantly. "Some uninformed people might urge a lack of brains," said Mrs. Merriwid, "but it seems to be that Intellect isn't the essential quality, so we'll say that the brilliant career Is open. They may shut the door when they see him coming, but he won't be delicate about kicking it in. If anybody objects, he'll try a Jolly on them, and, if that doesn't work, he'll see what a sandbag sand-bag will do In the way of quieting them. Pretty soon I'll be looking for a sinister bulge In his coat pocket, myself, but he's only In the Jollying stage as yet " "I think he's a very good natured. genial sort of man," said Aunt Jane. "He's campaigning now, you see, darling," explained Mrs. Merriwid. "He's a candidate for Melissa and he's getting ready for the preferential primary pri-mary and would like to have your in-floo-ence. Of course he's genial. He'd kiss your baby, If you had one, dearie, and you needn't worry about the turkey tur-key at Thanksgiving; he'll attend ti it. All you've got to do is to vote early and often. You're doing well now. Just keep It up." "I'm sure I don't care," Aunt Jane bridled. "You can take him or leave him. It doesn't make any difference to me." "I guess It wouldn't do," said Mrs. Merriwid, reflectively. "Of course. If he were elected, he might attend to the duties of his office, but the chances are that he'd neglect them. And as for that career, it would be too much of a strain on me. I'd He awake nights wondering how long before be-fore they'd investigate him, and it's getting so nowadays that no statesman states-man is really safe. Imagine my feelings feel-ings when I saw him for the first time in a striped suit. No man as stout as he Is looks well in horizontal stripes." "I must say I think you're going a little too far, Melissa, my dear," said Aunt Jane. ' , "I don't say it would go as far as that," Mrs. Merriwid conceded. "But there would be the public piUory. He's been in that several times already, anil the higher he rises the more he'll have to expose his boot soles to popular popu-lar execration, and I'd have to give up reading newspapers or else have my tenderest feelings lacerated by seeing him squeezing a taxpayer to death In the front page cartoon." "The best of men are maligned," said Aunt Jane. "Too, too true!" agTeed Mrs. Merriwid. Merri-wid. "And Mr. Mickser is far, far from being ihja best of men at that. 1LJL IBI jfh 1 W ill I A Very Good Natured, Genial Sort of a Man. dearie. There are half a dozen that I could name that would have him "bleached to a pale, pasty hue In comparison. com-parison. But it's a nice thing to have those billboards down and I appreciate appre-ciate the clean alley and the aro light and the policeman. So as lone u there is no motion to make the temporary tempo-rary organization permanent, we'll let Mr. Mickrjr sit around the parlor once In a while and explain the principles prin-ciples of civil government. My motto Is equal rights to all and whatever special privileges I can get without committing myself." "What do you suppose will happen if he insists on your committing yourself?" your-self?" Inquired Aunt Jane. Mrs. Merriwid laid down her chamois rubber and picked up an orange or-ange stick. "A landslide," she replied. re-plied. "An avalanche, a steam roller, a bolt from the blue. Mr. Mlckser will be snowed under, overwhelmed, crushed to earth, swamped, knocked out and finally rejected. He will wander wan-der out of here with a dazed, stricken expression on his genial face, babbling bab-bling incoherently of green fields until un-til some pitying soul takes him home. But he'll come to the next morning, auntie." "Come to where?" Inquired Aunt Jane. "To a conclusion, dearie," said Mrs. Merriwid. "I think he'll conclude I don't want him." (Copyright, 1912, by W. O. Chapmna,' New Way to Get Money. There are many ways to get money from people, and in these days when it is often necessary to raise various sums for missionary and other church work, the ministers of the gospel make- all sorts of moving appeals. But the preacher who takes the priz in this line of endeavor so far is an old colored man down south. "We has a collection to take up dl mawnin,' " he said: "a collection for a mos' important cause, an' we need 1 as much money as we kin git. But. foh de sake of your reputations, i hhichever of you stole Mr. J-onea' : turkeys don't put nothin' in de plate." That was how he got money out of every member of his congregation Popular Magazine. |