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Show Nice and cool to fight flies! Weather jokes are bound to be dry. Do you think the weather man is playing to the galleries? Meanwhile, remember that there ia always some hotter place. Do not argue with the contagion-spreading contagion-spreading house fly. Swat him! "Doing nothing" has been defined to bo a looker-on at a game of checkers. Drownings are increasing in direct proportion to the carelessness of humanity. It does not necessarily help any to get cold feet during this sort of weather. You will enjoy your own outing better bet-ter if you help others who are less able to get one. A man has reached th- limit of boredom when he ceases to laugh at his own witty remarks. An airship that goes only 33 miles an hour will not make much of an appeal to the joy rider. And after the confounded potatoes get up, every blessed cutworm turns into a Mooming potato bug! A St. Louis man claims that he never had to swing on a car strap. A circus has an armless wonder, too. Anyway, that baseball player who, - while eating, stabbed himself in the arm with a table fork had a wretched delivery. The Cincinnati woman v ho says she will not rest until kissing has been abandoned has a weary time before be-fore her. , Anyway, the aeroplane has put an end to the plaint of the mollycoddle who was always sighing for the wings of a dove. We've known amateur gardeners who saved an unbelievable amount of money by buying their truck at the grocery tore. A 15-ton shark has been captured near Seattle. The people are In luck that it did not scramble ashore and proceed to run for office. It costs $50 to ride 300 miles in the Xeppelin airship. It is hoped, how ever, that competition may eventually bring about a lowering of the rates. Following recent experiments at Hammondsport, N. Y., it is gravely announced an-nounced that the aeroplane is not very good as a man killer in war. Whc cares? It was not until the inventor of the hoop skirt was eighty-three years old, that he died. How long must we wait for news from the inventor oi the hobble skirt? Cities that are disappointed because of the census returns should reflect that Uncle Sam is as much interested In making a good showing as any particular par-ticular community possibly can be. English nobleman announces that he Is willing to marry a beautiful and wealthy American girl. For once, the bij. unmarried male American major lty can sympathize with the British peerage. If American heiresses who marry poor Englishmen of title are to be given the cold shoulder by the Court of St. James, the circle of mourners - in this country and Great Britain will be very small. Mulone, notorious Sicilian brigand that name sounds queer has been sentenced in Perugia to 144 years' imprisonment. im-prisonment. It may be mentioned that Signor Mulone was tried in his absence, ab-sence, not having been seen since he escaped from his captors in 1906. Thus the exemplary sentence, while probably proba-bly pleasing the authorities, does not hurt the signor. The unsinkable ship may be a long way off, but she will appear some day, and then such items ?s that which chronicled the drowning of a captain and eight men by the sinking of tho steamer La Rocbelle In the English channel as a result of collision by which she was almost cut in two. The modern passenger steamer can be out In two and floated as two pieces and it ought to be possible to so construct con-struct ships that they will stay afloat even when severed in twain by the urgery of accident |