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Show Feature SOUTHERN UTAH NEWS WEDNESDAY MARCH 31, 2004 Or Crankcase - not too bright By Clint Nielsen Bus Driver Unparalleled 01 Cranckcase is so fat and ugly, hes been declared a natural habitat for condors. Lynn Button? He looks, acts, and sounds like he just fell off a ventriloquists lap. Jim Ott is a nice guy but he played too much football with his helmet off. If Tom Willardson fell into Lake Powell it would not be a calamity. The calamity would be if someone pulled him out. Fred Chappell has all the charm, personality, and charisma of a speed bump. Sarge Baker is pretty laid back now, but when he was in his 20s, he was a John Wayne wannabee. When he went into the National Guard, he told First Sergeant Keith McArthur, I want to join the Army, see the world, meet interesting people, and shoot at them. Your dream came true, didnt it, Sarge? Jo McFaddenhas a great sense ofhumor. Marrying Doug proved that. Rod Lathim told Lawrence Reese just last night, I hate everybody! Youre next! Forget the raise, Rod. Starting tomorrow, youre on latrine duty. Carol Sullivan found a perfect way to get Sully to remember their anniversary. She married Sully on his birthday. Then he still forgot. Should have married him on Superbowl Sunday, Carol. LaDawn Bushnell said to Cleve just last Monday, Cleve, lets go out and have some fun tonight. Cleve told her, Hey, thats a great idea, but if you get home before I do, leave the hall light on. Cut off his allowance, LaDawn! The Babe and I are inseparable. In fact, last week it took four State Troopers and a dog to separate us. Dixie Brunner says that Den- nis is like a lava lamp. Hes nice to look at but he aint too bright. Sherrie Noel says that Mike is like a commercial on TV . . . you Moon rocks and more... nar cycle - much like the tides of With the weather warming up the earths seas, Most rocks weve studied from and daylight hours getting longer, you may find yourself the earths moon are igneous in cant believe a word he says' Bob Wells says that hes found By Amanda Gorski out the difference between a wife and a dog. After a few years, the dog s still glad to see you. Ken Glovers wife sized Ken up and down and said, Now I know why God made women. After creating man, He was sure he could do better. In Kens case, a blind hobo could have done better. Kaye Willardson has a great attitude concerning Tom: How can I tell when Toms happy . . . who cares? My mother-in-la- w, Oma, hates me. I dont jump for joy, myself, when she comes into the room. The other day I told her, When you die Im going to dance on your grave! She said, Thats great! Im going to be buried at sea. Like her daughter, that woman has. a mean streak in her. George Kelly? Hes so dumb he buried his drivers license because it had expired. Whats the difference between Cleve Bushnell and a trampoline? You take off your golf cleats before you jump on a trampoline. For that matter, whats the difference between 01 Crankcase and a haddock? Ones cold and slimy, the others a fish. Dilworth Perkins dumber than of celery? Well, last week, stalk a Kevin Glazier put him to work painting the stripe around the bottom of the Middle School. The first day he did well; the second the third, practiday only Kevin cally nothing. jumped Dils about case goofing off. How come youre down to practically nothing in your painting! Kevin stormed. Cause each day I get farther from the can of paint, replied Dil. Sounds reasonable to me, Kevin. Wave to 01 200, folks. That would be Crankcase. The one thats so ugly, the Babe feeds him with a slingshot rather than come into the same room with him. so-s- outside enjoying the geological wonders surrounding us, well moonrise. Pondering of the earths rocks may put you in the right frame of mind for pon- dering the geologic makeup of moon. Are there aspects of the moons geology that are simi- lar to the earths geology? Our best estimate of the age of our moon is about 4.5 billion years. The origin of the moon is unknown to us, but it was prob- ably created near the earth or came into being when matter from the earth was blasted off by collision with an asteroid. Our moon most likely consists ofa molten or partly molten core with layers of matter surround- the core. Constant shifting ofthe core and layers causes the to quake. While some stem from impact with meteorites, others occur at o; Winter clothing storage tips Answer by Karen Biers, Utah and use a brush to remove any State University Extension debris. Vacuum the storage area well Clothing and Textiles Specialist Now is a good time to go to remove any crumbs, dust, hair through your closets and put or lint that might attract inwinter items in storage. Keep sects. Regularly vacuum the rugs the following tips in mind as you where they fit close to the baseboard. Good housekeeping is store your clothing. Make sure clothing items are critical for preventing or conclean before storing. Stains, trolling clothes moth damage. Storage temperature should perfumes, hair care products or n fimoderate-ithe 60s or low be body oils left in the clothing 70s-and should not be in an area bers can intensify during stormoisture or strong excess damwith age and can permanently sunlight. Use closets with tight age the clothing. Dirt on the clothing or fitting doors. Try suspending crumbs or tissue in the pockets wall to floor cotton drapes in can attract insects. Prior to front of clothing to keep dust cleaning the entire garment, and moths away. Wash the cotturn any pockets wrong side out ton fabric to remove any sizing regular intervals during the lu- - nature. Some are similar to the basalt of earth, as well as gab-aftbro, norite and anorthosite, Minerals in moon rocks do not have an opportunity to interact with water in the manner min-th- e erals in earth rocks do. Also, the lack of free oxygen on the moon allows crystals of metallic iron to form. Lunar soil is inorganic and covers the moons surface to er -- a depth of feet, Rocks and powder in the soil have been exposed not to the erosional factors of wind and water, but to bombardment by meteorites. Some meteorite cra- ters can be viewed from earth, but some are as small as 1 25,000th of an inch. Most mete-in- g orites on a collision course with the earth burn up in our atmo-moo- n sphere, before becoming an sional factor here, Be sure to keep your eyes on the sky for the full moon, April 5th. 3-6- 0 ero-moonqua- Education common sense By Foster S. Friess Friends of mine who homeschool their five kids, ages 7 to 15 years, told me the following story: At one point Dad suggested issuing report cards like other schools. Mom replied, Fine, but theyll all get As. Classic maternal favoritism, the was father though at first-the- n astounded when Mom added, Because we dont move them on until they get it. Consider this mothers radical common sense: If our entire education system were converted to learning levels based on real progress rather than grade levels determined by age - and if the pernicious concept of social promotion were eliminated - the door would be open to significant achievement in our education system. Under this radical policy, a student would go over the multiplication tables or the important dates in U.S. History until he knows them. Age would be could irrelevant. A be at level three in math, level six history and level eight in science. No child would be left behind because no child would advance before he is ready. But in order for this policy to get off the ground, we must break the current and disastrous public ten-year-o- ld and do not use perfumed fabric softener in the final rinse or dryer. chests and closets are not 100 percent effective in preventing insect damage. The natural cedar oil evaporates and a fresh treatment of cedar Cedar-line- d oil should be applied every two years. |