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Show AH' The Sr; ,ak Tribune, January 12, 127' Who has Droblem and pain?: for those we love, but also sulfer (heir pain. By Alice Ginott One night a concerned wife noticed her hut hand tossing, tillable to sleep She turned to A Is somehim and akedthing bothering you' Yes, I have a serious problem. I owe our friend. Harold, $5 Out). The due dale is tomorrow morning and I don't have the money. The wue got out of bed, went to the phone and woke up Harold. Whats the idt a of v, a king me in the middle of the night?" he asked, du't-- with sleep. Does my hie band owe you $5,000? she asked. Yes. he answered. Are you expecting him to -- d iu ou pa III Ul I u w morning? Of course, he said. "Well, dont," she informed him. He dixrs not have the money and he is net going to pay." Her husband, who was listening incredulously, asked: Whatever possessed you to do this? she answered Well, now it's his problem. Let him stay up all night worrying. What hapiMMied to Dioue Avoiding the Home temptation to scream Unlike the wife in this aneodotc, we do not spare our children by dumping their problems into someone else's lap. Instead, we make them our concern and become their partners in worry. Because we are older, we presume that we are more capable. We not only try to solve problems anger, Mother gave Diane sympathy instead. in us not a tragedy, not a disaster, not even a calamity Only a mishap. No need to gel that upset. Besides, it happened to Diane not to me! As her concern diminished, her anger increased. She How wanted to scream: could you lie so neghgisit! How could you forget something you had spent so much time on? But she realized that when a child is upset, she does not need a lecture from her mother. What she needs is comforting. Can I Help? She looted at Diane sympathetically and said: Oh, Diane, ftow worried, angry and upset you must feel You work'd so hard and long on Shared Reaction lCi distraught mother shared with me her reaction to an incident involving her ltkyear-el- d daughter. One day, when Diane came home from school she told her mother that she'd left Ikt drawing for the school year book in the Uultit center "Im sure the janitor is going to throw it away. she said in tears. Mother was devastated; her heart sank. She felt as if Mimeone had punched her in the stomach. For a moment she confustJ herself with Diane. But after a while she got hold of herself and was able to respond to her daughter s plight more calmly, .sue was able to say to herself; Can I be of help? She did not offer to drive Diane back to school. She remembered that an after is nu-- t made to miaheally rejected She also did not want to part of the solution once he gave up her claim to the problem. We think that as parents wre only have two choices: To get nivoKi-in our childrens life or to stay out of it. Both are damaging. What they need from us is our faith m their ability to tope with tlk-i- r Ilf? problems and our help with troublesome feelings, such as angei . disappointment, hurt, fear, rejection, frustration, lo and ambivalence By Not Helping The following episode exemplifies the help we give our this project! s teem-eger- Fbl Father: I could seas something was wrong.-La- i ry : 1 dont know what 1 am going to do about my mv piano teacher. He is not mean but he expects o much from . me. A whole piece for each . lesson! V hut sitoukl I Father: Mmm, that problem, A new teacher and he expects so much frors you! I wonder what you can, do about it? Larry: I guess I ceul.t speak to turn. And 1 guess I could practice more. Maybe thats w hat Ill do. Copyright, 1975, by Dr. kTiCt GuioU. i,! . . msifcctcnr nscdr&t risbh ihz end to the cnioyns-SRt of ycur norms! activities... INTRODUCING 40 T Sew silicone get breast form find more workmen Now Available fix-u- ps children by not helping them. Larry: What a rotten day 1 had. First, 1 woke up iatirr then I rushed to my lesson and it vr.s ku.-y-; them 1 was so tired I enuldn t eves ulielteS tritmiutor. By Dorothea Brooks United Press International NEW YORK Cliche though it may be, it is an ill u md that blows no good. Time was finding someone to do an odd job around the house was akin to getting a drink during prohibition: you had to be tin friend of a friend, willing to wait and not too particular about the product. - Today, however, between inflation that has created the need for greater income and recession which has resulted in layoffs, the classified columns in newspapers and shopping flyers carry offer after offer for painting and papering, carpentry, masonry, just about anything youd want done around a house. The prices, too, are nw nat jk J nraC7q I if PA2ISOT TABLES all good things, however, there is a catch. Many of these workers are reputable, careful craftsmen who will give good value. Working on their own. perhaps moonlighting, they can afford prices below that of a larger company which lias higher overhead. Others, however, may be less than satisfactory. Some, ev on though they are honest and mean well, may be tackling work they cant really handle. Others are pricing their work so low they will have to use shoddy materials. More than a few are simply taking advantage of a situaAs with tion "Today, says Morris Mar-dopresident of American Urban Development Corp., r. MtM be made? There are pitfalls Unless a contract provides for completion by a specified date, work may be started, then dragged out as the contractor bikes on other the Better Business Bureau? tradesmen. Have you checked with previHe urges the consumer use ous customers? With an indicaution in selecting a work- vidual, has he been recomman, particularly on major mended by a friend w ho was jobs such as kitchen or . satisfied with work done? bathroom remodeling. He You will wart from either a said some individuals are written contract. charging prices that do not Does the company or even cover the cost of matercarry insurance? You ials. are taking a chance if workIn the long run, the conmen are not insured. sumer can lose money beWhat Guarantees? cause he may wind up having What kind of guarantees the job or corrected, are offered7 Here you are Marder said. He suggested it is wise to often at a disadvantage when judge anyone, an individual dealing with an individual rather than a a established or firm, by certain criteria. Reputation is first. Is the firm. When will work be comfirm established, does it clun k out with local banks or pleted and how will payment 0 35 E. Broadway 9 Cottonwood All FOUR STORtS 9 Fashion Aofl Piece OOyden indi-vidu- al ' WALK-OVER- 'S re-do- CONTINUES THEIR SEMI-ANNU- AL H A.i being in the lurch by individual tradesmen who do not live up to their promises. or Iinr SHOP ' jobs. Fla., Hallandale, left homeowners are MFs in Itirrh done by individual Use Caution 6 1 14 No. Main, Midvale, Ph. 2265 Washington B!vd., Ogden, Ph. Marder, whose Hams remodeling is one of Floridas largest home remodelers, says his company frequently is called upon to rectify unfinished or shoddy work 255-766- 394-362- 2 a- - - WOMEN'S FASHION SHOES IfC;ifA 17.95 to 33.95 WERE i i 15.90 to 32.90 SUNOS PUMPS j r-- . X" X (Sizes above 10 L LAST '-J- FA5HION BOOTS SELECTED 19.95 to 37.95 Tun. Jan Hon Jan. HAIRSTYUNG (sizes above 10 SPECIALS! anfyl (1 extra) SPECIAL CSOU? vcf&rrs fas! mn 002$ Special Number 1: Reg. 41.50 Organic perm with vitamins and minerals, cut included. 25 shaped shades are available in all mustard, red, aquamarine or orange. 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