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Show Are you doing Husband Feel inferior to your men, ladies'! You needn't be, soys this noted humorist, if you follow his crash course in marital one-upmansh- it this way: he is like the horse, and you are the rider. This will work beautifully as long as you never let him know you're holding the reins and as long as you use your spurs, of so to speak, only when absolutely necessary. Be gentle to him. Like the horse, he will think he is going where he wants to go. But you will know better. all you should? 7 "VN ip new supervisor's job pays $2,000 a year more." (He may begin to tremble a bit already.) "It's only money, isn't it?" "I couldn't care less about the money, dear. Mabel said George was going for it, though." "Not little Georgie!" "That would make you Georgie's assistant, wouldn't it? Mabel said not to worry. George said he'd promise not to work you too hard." You'll note a change in his firmness of purpose. He'll be thinking and smoking more rapidly. Keep up regular encouragements like this, and there's no limit to what can happen to him. voltometer. Comes to $23." "It just needs a new brush here, and they cost 50. Anything else?" "Well, let's look at it again . . ." Your husband, too, will have new respect for you : "Now, muscleman, just lift it up and hold it there." "I'm breaking my back!" "But you have such a strong back, dear. I'll just unscrew this resistor coil and you can run down and get a new one. I'll write down the num- ber for you." IIow to nandle the Other Men in Your life Home economics was for Grandma. Your problem is home electronics. There's never a time when at least one of your electrical helpmates isn't dead, dying, or pretty sick. You're at the mercy of a whole army of double-talkin- g Horses and husbands need regular exercise. See that he gets it. Regular canters around the back yard behind the lawn mower are good for him if done regularly. Violent exercise is dangerous to husbands only if they aren't used to it. Jogs around the shopping center, brisk sessions hauling in the groceries, and invigorating trots with the dog or behind the baby carriage will do him a world of good. If he hesitates about the shopping, show him that it will pay him to do it. On your next trip, buy out practically the whole shopping center. "You brought all that?" he'll ask. "I don't know what happened, dear! Everything just went blank, and there I was with a whole carload of groceries!" After several demonstrations like this, he'll see the point. IIow to Wear Out Yonr Husband The best way to dispose of old, unwanted husbands is to wear them out. But remember, men don't wear out like machinery, from motion. They wear out like carpets, from being stepped on. If your husband works for a big organization, keep in touch with it: "Dear, Mabel was saying that the repairmen: "What's the matter with it?" "Bad, lady, bad. Timer's out of synch, and the linkages in the conductor chassis are . . ." You're absolutely at his mercy. You don't know what he's talking about. Even your huband, who may not really know how to do anything but rewire a plug, has you where he wants you : "Very tough plug, dear. May take the whole afternoon." (And he'll do it all afternoon, too, right in front of the tv.) An evening a week at the local vocational school, learning simple u one electricians' jobs, will on all them. of After up that, you can lie in wait for your next double-tal- k expert: "Yes, ma'am, you need an inductor coil rewiring and a resistor cable put-yo- brush your teeth. You wash your face. You comb your hair. You're a woman. Fresh. Clean. Utterly feminine. Wonderful to watch. And if you're modern, you're that way every day of the month. Because you use Tampax tampons. Today's tampon for today's woman. Made of soft, pure surgical cotton, Tampax tampons are worn internally. There's no odor.Nobulk.No worry about what to wear. And Tampax tampons are completely disposable. Applicator and all. You're free. To go where you want. When you want. You wouldn't have it any other way. You're today's woman. You Be Kind, Be Generous Once you have him where you want him, be generous. Treat him as gently as you can. No need to worry about overdoing all this. If you should go too far and really get above him if he has to look up to you then make the view as pleasant as you can. My wife just looked at this manuscript again, and said, "You've gone too far, dear. We don't want to be above you. Just side by side, darling. Kiss me and then run down to the shopping center for me, will you? That's a good boy." Tampax tampons free you to do what you wish... any day of the month. SHEPHERD MEAD OA Author Shepherd Mead lives in Switzerland now on the fruits of his "How to Succeed . . ." books "How to Succeed in Humness Without Really Trying" and "How to Succeed at Business Spying By Trying," to tiame two. He indicated to Family Weekly editors that the "swceed" part of this epistle to women was expendable since they were bound to succeed anyway. w DtVltOPtO TAMPAX TAMPAX Family Weekly November 17, 1963 7 DOCTOR TAMCONI ARE MADE ONLY S)V INCORPORATED. PALMER, MASS. |