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Show Mi "All Dunn" by Roy Dunn I read somewhere that if dogs don't like you, you don't have a good character. Well, dogs don't like me and I've never been accused of not having hav-ing a good character. Also I'm afraid of dogs. Dogs are not afraid of me. Some say that a dog can sense it if you are afraid of him. They say that if you're afraid of him, your body gives off some kind of odor which Fido can smell and right off he knows you're chicken. Now, I have met up with dogs right after I have had a bath. It didn't seem to matter mat-ter what kind of soap I'd used, the dogs still knew I was afraid. This is in spite of the TV commercials which claim the soap will kill all skin bacteria bac-teria and you'll smell real sweet. So the dog growls and shows me his teeth, in which I am not interested, and the hair down the middle of his back stands up like Junior's butch-cut. Some folks say that if Bulger Bul-ger acts as if he were going to commit mayhem, just act as if you are not afraid and he will go away. I've tried that, but I just can't be that deceitful. I guess I'm just honest by nature. na-ture. But I must confess that I have secretly admired dogs for years. That is, I admire their philosophy of life. For example, dogs don't worry. They have a unique way of coping with any situation. If Rover meets with an object, the first thing he does, is smell it. If he can't eat it, fight it, or make love to it, he simply raises his leg and demonstrates his ability to put an end to the matter. The incident is settled and forgotten. forgot-ten. Because of his ability to han- die any problem, he never has stomach ulcers, prostate trouble, trou-ble, cigarette cough, weight problem, headaches, or a nagging nag-ging wife. He can, and does, rest any time, anywhere. He is definiately a polygamist and is not a social outcast as a result. re-sult. Someone sure goofed when they coined the term, "Leading a dog's life" and the dogs have been capitalizing on it ever since. Sometimes I wish I were a big dog just long enough to bite a certain type of dog. You know the one I mean for I know you have met him. He's the one that's sniffing around on the lawn near the sidewalk as you walk by. He is looking at you out of the corner of his eye, but you don't notice because you are minding your own business. He's a sneaky little devil and acts as if he doesn't even see you. But as soon as you pass him, he sneaks up to within about four inches of your heels and explodes. ex-plodes. Without any warning at all, he lets out the most ear splitting, split-ting, nerve-wracking, bloodcurdling, blood-curdling, burst of insane barking bark-ing you could ever imagine. Then taking advantage of your paralysis, the little booger runs to the safety of his front porch and sets to work, barking bark-ing steadily and leisurely, up the musical scale to the top and down again. Now being a victim to this type of dog not only un-nerves me for days after, it makes me want to sit down somewhere because my knees feel as if they have turned to jelly. Also I feel nauseated and have already al-ready lost what little religion rubbed off on me the last time I went to church. So that you will know this dog when you meet him, (although (al-though I'm sure you have) I shall describe him for you. He will weigh about five pounds and seven ounces, has short slick hair with white and or brown spots. If his tail hasn't been cut off, it is usually usu-ally wound up in a coil as tight as a tent rope in a rain storm, over his posterior, stretching the area just below to the size of a dollar or a dollar and a half. Quite often while he is still barking, some woman will come out on the porch in slippers, slip-pers, bath robe, and curlers. Gathering the little darling in her arms and as I make my uncertain way down the street, I hear her say, "Why you're trembling life a leaf. Did that mean man scare Mamma's little lit-tle Boo-Boo?. Nasty old mans!" SEE 'YA LATER! Panama A band of chanting chan-ting students marched from a cemetery; where they decorated decorat-ed graves of 'martyrs' killed in 1964 rioting into the Canal Zone and burned a United States flag. |
