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Show TUncle jfub from Punkintown sez: DEAR MISTER EDITOR: I don't think we'll ever git . any place discussing things with them Russians either at the summit sum-mit or at the base. The routine they got fer handling a diplomatic diplo-matic situation is hard to beat. They make a complaint, then they refuse the explanation. You can't beat that system for results. re-sults. If we carried it out like that in private life, fer instant, it would run about like this. I git a bill from my doctor, and then I write him and ask fer a explanation. He sends me an itemized account. Then I reject it and call fer a explanation of the itemized account. We keep this up until me or him one dies of old a.Te. But I think the real reason r- Russia stays mad at us all the time is because they owe us money. The maddest my neighbor neigh-bor ever got with me was the time he owed me ten dollars fer helping him do some ditching. He said the ditch filled back up anyhow, and he stayed mad at me fer three years over that ten dollars he never paid me. I don't think we'll ever git together to-gether with them Russians till we mark off what they owe us. And we got our problems here at home as well as over yonder. Fer instant, last night on tele- v- vision they was introducing a new color fer women's dresses. This woman that was giving the commercial called it "Tiger Rose," and allowed as how it was "so electrifying, it changed the tiger's stripes, so vibrant you can hear the jungle drums." I think the Senate investigating committee ought to look into such stuff just as soon as they git through deciding who stole what with that television station down in Miami. I don't know where this thing of wimmen's clothes is going to end. I see where some feller has designed a bathing suit that works like Venetian blinds. If the gal wants a little more sun she can yank a string and the flaps come open. And it she don't want no more sun she yanks the string the other way and the flaps close. And I see where they is discussing a new evening gown that has a top made out of transparent plastic. In short, the gal has got on some clothes and she ain't. It's a great pity, Mister Editor, Ed-itor, that folks with such brains ain't working on sumpin useful. use-ful. Fer instant, if they'd develop de-velop a hog that has got four hams instead of two we'd be gitting some place. I used to worry about such things a heap, but styles change even in worrying. When a feller has got a problem now, he just takes a pill. I'll knock off now, Mister Editor, and go take a couple. Yours truly, UNCLE FUD. |