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Show JOSH BILLINGS' PHILOSOPHY. Gratitude is a rare thing; most people are more grateful for what they expekt [expect] than for what they hav [have] had. I hav [have] seen men git [get] into a tite [tight] spot, and then git [get] out ov [of] it bi [by] setting perfektly [perfectly] still until they tired the spot out. Reazon [Reason], without faith, makes a man but little better off than the brutes. It iz [is] quite likely that in the grate [great] ledger of Heaven there will be found az menny [as many] penny kredits [credits] az dollar ones. I am more afrade [afraid] ov a cunning man than I am ov an insane one. Truth iz simple, but nothing kan [can] inkrease [increase] its power. Life haz its vicissitudes. Just underneath the brightest and most fragrant flowers lurk the sharpest thorns. The best way to git our just dues iz to respekt the rights ov others. The man whom everyboddy fears, must necessarily fear everyboddy. The time spent in praying for good luk iz just so much time spent in vain. Repentance iz the highest price we can pay for ennything [anything]. The best legacy yu [you] kan leave a child are virtews [virtues] to immitate. It iz but little trubble [trouble] to git enny man to admit the truth, but to follow it iz what's the matter. If we would suspekt [suspect] ourselfs more, and our neighbors less, it would be better. Mi [My] dear friends, don't hanker after perfekshun [perfection]; just az soon az a peach gits ripe it begins to rot. Vanity iz the ruling pashun [passion]; I hav even seen people who were polite more from vanity than from enny good natur [nature] that they possessed. The man who is phull [full] ov phun [fun], and phull ov phaith [faith], iz a mighty hard man to beat. Go slo [slow], mi dear boy; if yu hav got ennything real good in yu, yu kan afford to do it. If yu git a man's sekret [secret] against hiz wish, yu git it at the expense ov hiz hatred. Treat every one honestly, and politely, but giv no man the advantage over yu until yu are obliged to. If yu kant trust a man for a hundred cents on a dollar let him slide; this trusting a man for 25 cents and watching him for the other 75 don't pay. A pedigree to be really valuable must be acquired, not inherited. He who controls his pashuns and appetights [appetites] iz infinitely a stronger and a better man than he who haz no pashuns nor appetights to control. The world iz philling up with edukated phools [educated fools]; mankind read too mutch [much] and kno [know] too little. Woman is a giantess in her sphear [sphere], but a pigmy out ov it. Yung man, if yure ambishun iz to be beloved bi everyboddy, yu must manage in sum [some] way to appear inferior to them. |