Show lillI Laba L about aba t The Tho Origin of O ANTA MONICA CALIF S SANTA 0 With With the Barnum show there once was an elderly lady elephant named Helen Now Helen had wearied of traipsing to and fro in the land Probably she figured shed she'd seen everything anyhow So each fall when the season ended she went rejoicing b back a c k d home to Bridgeport s Conn Nobody ever knew knew rr the date of departure depar depar- s. s ture Lure the next spring t There was no more Hustle Bustle about winter- winter quarters on t that hat h a t morning than for weeks past But always when irvin s. s cobb the handlers entered entered entered en en- the bull barn to Ie lead forth orth the herd they found Helen hunkered hunkered hunkered hun hun- down dO on her voluminous haunches which under that vast weight spread out like cake batter on a hot griddle She would be uttering shrill sobs of defiance And neither prodding nor honeyed words could budge her So they'd wrap chains around her herand herand herand and two of her mates would hitch hitchon on and drag her bodily she still on her rubbery flanks aboard a waiting waiting waiting wait wait- ing car Shed She'd quit weeping then and wipe her snout and accept what fate sent her So please dont don't come telling me that the sit-down sit strike is a new notion or that somebody in Europe first thought it up Thirty years ago I 1 saw my lady elephant friend Helen Helen Hel Hel- en en putting on one all by her fourton fourton fourton four- four ton self Taxes and More l Taxes when everybody is taking JUST comfort from the yodelled promises promises promises prom prom- of that happy optimist Chairman Chairman Chairman Chair Chair- man Harrison of the senate finance committee that the government will be able to get by for 1937 without without without with with- out asking this congress to boost taxes what happens Why in a most annoying way Governor Eccles of the federal reserve reserve re reo re- re serve board keeps proclaiming that fua t to make treasury receipts come anywhere near meeting treasury disbursements throughout the year hes he's afraid its it's going to be necessary necessary necessary sary to raise the rates on incomes and profits higher than ever And meanwhile state governors and civic authorities scream with agony at the bare prospect of any reductions in Uncle Sams Sam's allotments allotments allotments allot allot- ments for local projects A balanced budget would seem to tobe tobe tobe be like Santa Claus something everybody talks about but nobody ever expects to see Self FORMERLY the states jealously guarded their sovereign per per- Once Once but but that was so long ago many have almost forgotten forgot forgot- ten it they it-they they fought among themselves themselves themselves them them- selves one of the bloodiest civil wars in history over the issue of states' states rights Now we see them complacently surrendering to federal bureaus those ancient privileges privileges and and maybe maybe maybe may may- be after all that's the proper thing to do if in centralized authority lies the hope of preserving a republican form of government Still StIn one wonders what Englishmen English English- men would do under like circumstances circumstances circumstances circum circum- stances s since nce Englishmen are fussy about their inheritance of self de termination Perhaps the distinction distinction distinction tion is this In democracies there exists the false theory that all men are born free and equal So the Englishman insists on having his freedom which is a concrete thing and laughs at th idea of equality Whereas the American abandons his his individual freedom provided he may cling to the fetish of equality Yankee and British may be brothers under the skin but they have different skin diseases The Parole Racket IT T IS astonishing but seemingly true that of five young joung gangsters gangsters gangsters gang gang- recently caught red-handed red in ina ina ina a criminal operation not a single one was a convict out on parole Is there no way to bar rank amateurs from a profession calling for prior e. e experience and proper background And can it be that the various parole parole parole pa pa- role boards over the union are not turning loose qualified practitioners fast enough to keep up with the demand demand demand de de- de- de mand Maybe we need self open ing big jails Those sentimentalists who abhor the idea that tha t a chronic offender be required to serve out his latest sentence sentence sen sen- tence should take steps right away to correct this thing before it goes too far Our parole system must be vindicated if it costs the lives and property of ten times as many innocent citizens as at present IRVIN S. S COBB conn Q Service |