Show what ft t thinks i in s about t CALIF 1 AA They say this will be the liveliest fight for years ears and years with glee clubs gargling and the boys out with brass bands bands and and brass and batteries of college professors firing tIrIng on opposition professors But they'll never reclaim the thc glorious glorious glo glo- 10 rious ancient spirit Were We're too lame tame Ta Take J e 0 00 06 G. G Now j there was a camp campaign cam- cam p a 1 g n r for 0 r you When Bryan Dryan was a ice discovery cry Instead of ofa ofa a chronic recur recur- rence Two life lIre long longi i friends would meet What dye think of ot this here bere free free silver thing one would ask I think Irvin S. S Cobb Its It's the greatest notion notion no no- tion In history the second fellow would say What do you think think I think youre you're a u dirty such and The first man would yell and amI then everybody would start bouncing those old- old fashioned cuspidors off oIT of everybody else's dome J J. J Edgar Boulder O OWING WING to recent developments over which it had no control I believe the Interior department temporarily has shelved shel the Idea of ot changing J J. J Edgar Hoovers Hoover's name t to J J. J Edgar Boulder as was previously prevIously pre pre- previously predicted In these dis dis- dis- dis patches But now certain critics at Washington Insist on accusing that gentleman of over advertising In connection with his latest tics Well he has the advantage over some ome pr press s agents When he promises a show he certainly puts It on upon the day and date announced announced an an- flounced with the band playing The Alcatraz Drag Drag and and every ery cage full Funny Foreign Names WORD ORD from Warsaw Is that the Incumbent the Hon MarJan MarSan Marjan Mar- Mar Jan San leaving having In ha resigned the president of Poland has picked as the new premier none other than Gen Felicyan The latter gentleman gentleman gen gen- has already been Installed up to and Including his first live tive or six s syllables the rest of the name running as a second section So what you mistook for static on the radio night before last was Just the news broadcaster trying to pronounce him as a whole Ever Rising Taxes A A NY ODY who fondly believes tA that regardless of which outfit outfit outfit out out- fit fit- wins In November taxes wont won't keep right on going up and up has hasa a thinking apparatus that dates back quite a spell Id I'd say It dates back to the climax climax climax cli cli- max of the big rise as ns set forth In the Bible DIble and Is a direct InherItance Inheritance In In- from the thc skeptical folks who wouldn't harken barken to the prophetic prophetic prophetic pro pro- warning Remember the scene dont don't you The forty days' days rain still beating relentlessly down the freshet climbing clImbIng climbing climb clImb- ing higher and higher the animals marching In two by two And with the old ark starting to move and Father Noah yelling All aboard and with the waters closing over their heads those know It still stIll- gur gurgling Ung through their valedictory bubbles Shuck Ins In's there aint to be no flood hood Honoring Lee Leo and Jackson WHEN HEN the Post Office department department depart depart- ment Includes among the galery gallery gallery gal gal- lery ery of ot the greatest Americans to I be pictured In the new Issue of memorial stamps the faces of the Confederate chieftains Lee and Jackson what happens Why nobody waves the bloody shirt Nobody ennobles the sorry word traitor by applying It to 11 the memories of those two gallant gallant gal gal- 11 lant soldiers and simple Christian Christi a n gentlemen Nobody In the name of patriotism drags the bones of ot sectional rancor out ont of the ground Nobody beats the Rogues ues ue's March for Rebels on hates hate's snare drum Instead all nIl over o the Union men and women applaud this generous but merited gesture A leading paper paper paper pa pa- per of Boston Boston Doston Boston no less Jess I once the mulching bed of abolition and the breeding ground for anti- anti southern sentiment editorially commends the Idea Wen IRVIN S S. S COBB Copyright Service |