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Show i : in i Grammar Fascinates Him WHEN a certain demagogic senator, now happily retired, was holding forth in Washington, he was constantly engaged In feuds with his fellow-legislators, and, in consequence, spent most of his time on the floor of the senate, denouncing de-nouncing various and sundry enemies ene-mies in potently picturesque terms. Whenever this gentleman arose to speak, most of his colleagues fled the chamber; but one, a former for-mer college professor, always remained re-mained in his seat, listening with profound attention. "Why," a fellow - member demanded, de-manded, "do you always stay here to listen to that Insufferable windbag?" wind-bag?" The professor laughed. "He fascinates fas-cinates me. I have yet to hear him make a grammatical error!" MANY BOSSES "Tell me, sir, who Is the real boss at your home?" "Well, my wife bosses the children, chil-dren, and the children boss the dog and cat, but I can say anything any-thing I want to the petunias." Slight Handicap "Now we know that the earth Is round," said the schoolmaster. "Tell me, Thomas, would It be possible for you to walk around the earth?" "No, sir." replied Thomas. 'And why not?" "Because," was the unexpected reply, "I twisted my ankle playing football." STATION IDENTIFICATION Little Boy: "Mama, what was the name of the last station the train stopped at?" Mother: "Don't bother me, 1 don't know. Don't you see I'm reading? Why do you ask?" Little Boy: "Because little brother got off there." New Technique "How the deuce," asked the officer of-ficer on the rifle range, "did you get those four straight bulls? Your range Is 600 yards, but your sight is set at 300." Said the recruit: "See that little rock halfway along? Well, I'm bouncing 'em off that." Poor Memory A suburbanite whose clock had run down was sending his boy to town to get the correct time. "But Pa, I can't bring the correct cor-rect time. I have no watch." "What do you want a watch for? If you can't remember, write it down on a piece of paper." ROBERT TEE LEE Son: "Dad, was Tee Lee, the robber tbey sing about, a Chinaman?" China-man?" Dad (puzzled): "Tee Lee?" What song is about him?" Son: "Oh, Dad, you know that song, 'Waiting for the robber Tee Lee!' " Work Saver First Bride: "I've got my husband hus-band where he eats out of my hand." Second bride: "I wish I could do that. It certainly would save a lot of dishwashing, wouldn't it" Problem In Finance The absent-minded customer started out of the restaurant without with-out paying his (heck and the sweet young thing at the cashier desk said: "Hey, Doc. Just how do you want to finance this?" Dnst Me Off! Little Dickie's mother, trying to talk him into a bath, urged, "Surely you want to be a clean little boy, don't you?" "Yes, tearfully agreed Dick, "but couldn't you just dust me?" |