Show lat hat at Every Husband Tried 1 ried By Helen Rowland the first night after the been set ahead 11 the ho clocks Jn n the house to alt past 10 h Ic I trotted around fixing I id nd patting up pillows and 1 fall the little last aids to tot t here gazing gloomily glo into intong I o 0 ng as though though though-he he expected t it t sunrise It see sec that liI his mind was desperately 1 around in space excuse to sit up for an- an rI r- r I his eyes lit on the ih and he blithely hear a Caruso record I II L or Curci or Curci or something I ra 10 raised sed my eyes virtuously and andI I I JOh JOh h no flo no Its It's BEDTIME W hen er enl he threw down his pipe bitterly Its It's only hal pa t 0 0 a and d you KNOW it Besides Im I'm famished Anything to eat in the ice box I And then I w went into the kitchen and hunted up a lot of cold things andset and andset I him set out a an lunch for And he sat there and pretended to I eat as long as he could And then he decided that he heI COULDN'T go to bed on top of a a. I heavy meal like that And besides he wanted to finish I reading the morning newspapers And all the clocks in the house pointed to 11 but ll-but but ho he KNEW it t was was' I only 10 And after a while I heard him himI tramping around I And 1 1 said What are you doing dear dear- dear I-dear And he answered casually Oh Just JustI I f I I shaving Wont Won't have time to to shave In the morning if weve we've got to get up ut uL that unrighteous hour And then I r heard him turning on I the shower and poking up the open fire and scratching matches to light his pipe and humming the Marseillaise Marseillaise Marseillaise Marseil I laise and taking books off the shelves and putting them back again and prowling and prowling and PROWLING PROWLING PROWL PROWL- ING And after about an hour I called out impatiently Oh what on EARTH are you doIng doing do do- Ing now And he answered sweetly Oh Just reading And then I sat up in bed and re retorted retorted re re- bitterly Oh no youre you're NOT Ill I'll tell you ou I what youre you're doing I Youre You're giving aid I and comfort to the enemy And the k kaiser would be p perfectly I lighted dee-lighted if he knew that you were were I burning electric lights at this time of ot night And after that there was a a. dead silence And then h he came In and kissed me mc good night and tiptoed off oft to his room And ten minutes later I It heard him breathing gently and peacefully But In the morning When the alarm went off I at the NEW time I heard him turn over and groan and say say say- Well Im I'm too much of a lady to toI I repeat what he said said and and anyway the paper wouldn't print it it And every night since then hes he's gone promptly to bed bedAt bedAt bedAt At a PATRIOTIC hour And goodness knows Im I'm grateful to toUncle toUncle toUncle Uncle Sam For I do love my soy beauty sleep And heaven knows I NEED it And every married woman I know lenow knowIs Is inwardly gloating In th the same way But WIlY WHY does It always take a range long gunTo gun gunTo gunTo To shake a man out of his little habits habits hab hab- i its |