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Show lj jaii kfi Conceited Thornton Winthrop, an actor well-know- n In his day, had long since passed his prime and keenly felt the loss of his popularity. One day as he climbed into a taxicab he got the impression that the driver hadn't recognized him but felt sure that he was remembered. He decided to find out if the name of Winthrop meant anything to the cabbie. "Did you ever hear of Thornton Winthrop?" he asked. "Yes, sir," the cabbie replied. "Wonderful man, isn't he?" "He certainly is." "Handsome, too, eh?" "Yes sir, and doesn't he know It," PREMATURE He was exceedingly brave and eloquent as he told her he loved her so much, he'd even face death for her. About that time a bull snorted and charged. The young man's strong words flowed to his legs and he was off like a shot. "But darling," she called after him, "you said you'd face death for me." "Sure," yelled the fellow over his shoulder, "but that bull aint dead!" Butt-Insk- y A fellow took his wife to the movies but couldn't hear because of the conversation going on in the row in back of them. When he could stand it no longer, he turned around to the fellow behind him. "Excuse me, but I just can't hear a word," he said. "Oh, you can't hear a word, huh? Well, listen, mugg, whose business is it what I'm tolling my girl?" Falling in Line A man and his wife were arguing. "And another thing I want to tell you," she said. "I've noticed every time you talk you say my house, my automobile, my chair, my shoes everything's yours. You never say ours. I'm your partner. I'm your wife. It should be ours." The husband paid no attention to her, just kept looking around. "What are you looking for?" "Our pants!" DIVERTED ATTENTION First Motorist If you had hugged your side of the curve, we wouldn't have had this accident. Second Motorist I guess I was hugging a curve, all right, but it wasn't in the road. SEWING CIRCLE PATTERNS Junior Style Has Quaint Charm Girls' School and Party Dress e' " ' Crisp and Contrast? fr7 WU4 TUST the thing to have ' "I8 ready J when school bells ring a dain- - Nice for Special v ykd1.d"?s ,or youn.g irls that s delightfully easy to sew. RLTTY and demure, yet nice Haye the ke in contrast and enough for special dates is this finish with crisp ru!ting. junior frock with its crisp white collar and tiny puffed sleeves. Try Pnttem No. A4is comet in sizes 6. b. io. a gay flower printed fabric and e$lZiS- - rk yarda oi 39" add narrow ribbon bows for ac- - cent. sfiwino rincLR pattern wept. , 830 Houtb Walls Hi. Chicago 1, III. .,. , , . Flnclose 2S cents 111 coln (or tach P?"Z ?u iS "' pnttern desired. 14 Sue 4 ' yards of 3d or ' yard contrast. Pattern No. Site The Full ond Winter FASHION orfers 64 puses of smart new styles, special Name designs; tips on fabrics free pattern printed Inside the book. Send 25 cents Address ----. today. AILTIAC that makes ,0,k IlLlVO sleep all night! Thousands now simp undisturbed because of the news thitl their being awakened night after ni(fht mty'ii b rum bUuider trrUaiion not (as kvlnryt. Let's hope sol That's a condition Foley Pills usually allay within 24 hours. Hince blad-der irritation is so prevalent and Foley Pills so olent Foley I'ills mum benefit you within 24 .ours or DOUHI.E YOUit MONEY HACK. Make teat. Gel Foley Pills from drug-gist. Full satisfaction or DOUBLE YOUlt MONLY BACK MAKES IRONING HI f,om S''ckin9 i' America' t favorite ready-to-e- at I i . ' rice cereal: Oven-fres- h! Kellogg. I l587 rv I ; fresh! Bo crisp they snap! cracklel wlrffgfyZm l pop! in milk. Nourishing. Good! f ? J i you're so dumb, if brains WERE DYNAMITE, AND SOME- - BODY TOUCHED A MATCH TO 1 YOUR HEAD, IT Ci WOULDN'T EVEN T,LT Y0UR HAT I ROLAND COB 'jjs I DON'T SEE WHY SHE COMES TO THE l''LS BEACH. ALL SHE EVER DOES IS SIVIM.'' "JSSSM10 Whe.i taking deviled eggs to a picnic, wrap each in waxed paper, put them in an egg carton and they won't get mashed. Bound to be right. To adjust tie-ba- ck curtains so they are pinned back at the same distance from the sill on each side, pull down the window shade to the de-sired position and use that as a marker. Somebody spilled the beans! When food boils over in the oven, sprinkle salt over the spilled food. This will put an end to unpleasant odor and smoke. Then clean the oven when baking is over. The tray's the thing. If there's an invalid in the house, remember that the hours of the day mean little except when the next tray is brought in. Fish today, but not tomorrow. To remove the odor of fish from a dish cloth, boil the cloth for five minutes in a solution of one table-blespoo- n of baking soda to one quart of water. Rinse in warm water, then cold. Glory to Betsy! Have you looked at the market basket lately? Bet-ter treat it to a good scrubbing with hot soap suds. Chicken for four becomes chick-en for eight. Dumplings are an in-expensive stretcher for stewed chicken. Sprinkle well with chopped fresh parsley. Dentist no boogie man. If moth-er will take the young child with her to the dentist long before he needs to have anything done to his teeth and just let the dentist look at the youngster's teeth each time, there will be no fear of the dentist when work must really be done. Destination Unknown A husband was dressing and couldn't find his collar button. "You're the most careless man I ever met in my life," said his wife. "Here's your collar button. Why don't you put it in one spot? Every morning it's always 'Where's my collar button?' " Next morning the husband came to the breakfast table mumbling. "What's the matter?" asked his wife. "I swallowed my collar button." "Well, at least for once you know where it is." AND JEFF By Bud Fisher OF COURSE, U TtICKETsYON MY" LAST TRIP TO WHERE ARE I 'IJ'p IfjFjujr1 I HrF j PL TOLD flf r ASKED estabIThedTwent feyr- s.R?!V r cave ( TO WASHINGTON AS A 7TT"T f? 1 WAS THE WAN FOR YOU MY ry , r By Arthur Pointer Britain Charges Belgians With Eating Work Horses LONDON. Despite Belgian im-porters' guarantees, the 2,000 Brit-ish horses shipped there annually practically all are slaughtered for food, instead of being worked as agreed, Arthur W. Moss, of the Royal Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, charged. "The meat is processed and mostly sold in the form of Ant-werp sausages," he said, after re-turning from Belgium. "Immediately the horses on my ship were disembarked, they were branded on the neck with a hot iron and a hole was punched in the right ear to insert a number peg. The following day they were slaughtered." by Clark S. Haas Dt - 1 s i j j vfye?1LjffMlKofVLgAlWst) r y(yS rcj yh Wy--k r. E' --ife ROUND TRIP The ragged old beggar was like a ghost of the forgotten past when he sidled up to a New Yorker one evening and hoarse-ly whispered a request for a handout. "I need a dollar," he ex-plained, "to get out to California. I've got a sick uncle out there who needs me badly." The New Yorker promptly took out two one dollar bills and handed them to the beggar. "Here," he said, "take two dol-lars. You may want to come back." i I !L By Len KleU l'NlF-- J t I'VE WARNED VOU ) 0I5OB6YW6 ANgTMER 7 ft? T'CHAlVV t ABOUT 0CEAKN6 5i6M - I'M qUI&T r jn |
