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Show W. W. PICKS BRIGHTEST ITEMS CULLED FROM NEWS IN '38 number af standi nf iokes, such a tha a peach aa erf Coebbela, tha "scoops" who' folnf te se Scarlett Scar-lett O'Here and teis who kill their meal tickets just before everythlnt (see blaek but those are (or svsry year ot just IMA. Far blatant nenre, the reer1! Briaa foes to tha Third Raich. Ita Loa-oon Loa-oon diplomatic and pram repreaant-Uraa repreaant-Uraa anubbad a dinner at which Mr. Chambarlain ballttlad tha dictatorships, dicta-torships, and nasi day raised a squeal that tha speeeh was la "bad taste. Germany howling about "taste haa about aa much etaad-laT etaad-laT Be a (unman'a objsetlea to street llfhU during a kold-ua. Walter Winchellt Hlghlighta la ItM'e News (Items Overlooked la Moot of Tho Editors' Summaries) One of the heartiest guffaws was supplisd by a tiny item from the Far North, which appeared Just ths othsr day. Bomabody got tha Idsa of playing Santa Claua to ths Eskimos, Eski-mos, who are supposed to be his fsllow-townsmen. So one of the natlvea put on a red coat and vhis-ksrs vhis-ksrs and scared the living daylights day-lights out of tho North Pole sstl Tho most' velvety squelch of the year was administered by Mrs. Elsa-nor Elsa-nor Rooeevelt, which supports ths theory that It takes a lady to make a rebuke sting. Aftsr having been kidded and scolded for her travels end activs Intsrest In affairs, Mrs. R., very gently, reminded the world that only one Rooeevelt ie auhjoct to the whlma of the American voters. vot-ers. There's been a noticeable lack of heckling ever since. The floppo of tho year was the Major League baseball meeting in New York. The affair got a hot build-up from tho aporte pages, but when the huddlea were called the boesee went Into hiding and left the reporters nothing to write about except a few warmed-over batting averages. Finally Bill Tarry took pity on ths press and traded off three hirelings to give them soms-, soms-, thing to writs about. At lssst, that's , ths only excuse most of us can find , for tha trade with tho Cubs. fusing to believe tha world had quit laughing, delivered a rowdy, noisy and Immsnssly funny revue to N. Y. A majority of the reviewers gave It aa unfriendly "tsk, tsk," but tha customers were laughing aa laud they couldn't hear tha seoidlng, and apent a couple of hundred thousand dollars aa seats before the tumbled It wasn't The Thing to Do. Now they're so ashamsd of thsmsslvee they keep going back to tha show to forgot their bad manners. TW Fall elections, which wore generally conceded to be a slap oa tha wrist for tha Nsw Deal, are beginning to kick back and score a few bruiees on ths Republicans' shins. Frank Murphy, tha Democrats' Demo-crats' man, was whipped for Gov. of Mich, but now he's tho new Att'y Gen'l, where he'll caueo more Insomnia In-somnia among the O. O. P. blgglaa. It may be thet the Repubs didn't know their awn strength. Tha West Coast, always oa ths Job. ragia tared one of tho really piquant news laughs af tha year. The burglar-proof mint of San Francisco was tipped over by a couple cou-ple of tots, who weren't ovoa looking look-ing for gain. They Just didn't like tho way tha mint waa bragging about lu Invincibility. It seem bad buainees to toll those West Coasters how good you are. Several years ago whsa Alcatraa claimed It waa oecape-proof, because the runaways couldn't swim to tho mainland, twa schoolgirls paddlsd out and back, just to kssp ths record honest. Ons of the bitterest feuds of the ysar waa carried an bstwsea the sports writsrs and Seabiscult. Ths horse plesded previous sngago-merits, sngago-merits, or somsthing, whsn ducking competition with War Admiral, and the writers got really stiff-necked about it. There waa some talk of cutting tho horse dead eocially, and much charging of1 "yellow," etc. Seabiscuit svsntually made a bum out of War Admiral and the sports writers have restored him to their visiting list. Tho Associated Preaa must be thanked for digging up a equib for this collection. This service found a giggle In Memphis, Tenn., la the falling out of a man and wife. The frau barged Into a book store and returnsd s toms called "A Thoueand Waya to Please a Husband." Whsn she calmed down she received In exchange a copy of "Live Alone and Like It" Farces have been written on less. This haa been mentioned before, but It belongs In ths round-up. Two vauda comics, Olssn a; Johnson, re- Tha snoot phenomena! development develop-ment of science, as reported by the dailies, waa tho readjustment of Italy's racial status by Mussolini's decree. U Dues allowed that all Italians wars Aryans, aad aa fooling. fool-ing. Any arguments to ths contrary ware howled down by the retort that Muscles had It la writing, aad it mustbe so. Testimony of tho various Numbers Num-bers operators during the Jimmy Hlnes trial, revealed to moat of us that tho oalty language supposedly ueed by tho law-breakers la all flicker fancy. George Weinberg pulled a dead pan aa "trigger man" and "mouthpiece" and othsr Edward O. Robinson sapreesiona, preferring terms liks "amortisation of assets," "diminishing profits" and other financial fi-nancial page jaw-breakers. Mr. Dewey couldn't have bees more astonished. Orooa Walk, runnsr-up to Mr. Chamberlain for aewa breaks, saddened sad-dened the show people by announcing announc-ing tho theater's funeral. After a wow season at tho Mercury, Wellee argued that tha ahow ahop was faltering and that the people didn't really hanker for tho drama. Then he produced "Denton e Death and you- immediately understood what mads people stay away.. ' Tha cinema came through with Ita annual drollery, this time at a coot of a million bucks to Its biggies. big-gies. That much was subscribed to remind America what perfectly dandy movies-were being mads out Wast. So, at the year's snd, ths critics can hardly find room for ths U. 8. products among lu best 10, giving the grapes to a cartoon and a clustsr of furrinera which didn't apend a nlckeL There have also been the usual . SBaa3sssaec3as3SaaBsa |