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Show . HIS CLAXBI TO A HALO. "And why do you think' a halo's due you?" asked Peter .of . the philanthropist philanthro-pist seeking admission at the gate. "Because I gave fferty to the cause of religion and morality," he answered, j rubbing his hands with an air of con- fidence In his right -way; "What an Itemized account." said Peter. - "All right I sent every ' fall two cases of straw hats te the missionaries In Greenland." , . . "Go on." said Peter. . . "Instead of sending my-erlnfer overcoat over-coat to the old clothes man in the spring I put it In a box for the-Flll- plnos." - -, V "Go on!" said Peter. "' "The day after my automobile killed two 'Women and a dog I sold it and turned over the money to the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals." Ani-mals." "Go on!" said Peter. "I killed fifty song birds one day and eold 'em to a wholesale milliner and bought my wife a ilfe .membership In an Audubon club." , "Go on!" said Peter. "I got 10 cents a gallon more for milk that had lust as much water In it as sny other and sent .the difference to the Visitors club tor sick infants in the tenements." "Go on!", said Peter. "I got $10 a month more for rent by crowding seven jfamilles into a tene- ment where there was room fpj only ,- six and gave half to the Fresh Air fund." "Go on!" said Peter. "I shoved eighty passengers into our forty-passenger street cars and gave a tenth of the surplus to the sum-' mer excursion fund," "Go on!" said Peter. "I made 10 cents a pound on food treated with boraclc acid, and so paid r.iy annual subscription to the Pure Food society." "Go on!" said Peter. "I mads $50,600 out of a city franchise fran-chise and gave a thousand to the Anti-Bribery Anti-Bribery league.. "Go on!" said Peter. "I made $5000 decorating a chureta In- terlor and spent 'five af an entertainment entertain-ment given to pay for it." "Go on!" said Peter. "I've told you eo" several times. . We've no halo that would begin to ft to grand a head. Go cn! Go on! You're- blocking- up tht entrance." en-trance." . |