Show l Walter Walt r If Vaudeville Comes Back In Variety Joe Laurie one of th the pillars of the Big Time amusingly about the two and 0 three-a three day v a u d eville shows If it ever comes back which is doubtful because radio radio radio ra ra- ra- ra dio is paying w them better wages this is what to expect The two c club I u b men from Prince Princeton ton The They y come on in Winchell toppers and opera capes When one of the pair throws the other 15 feet in inthe inthe inthe the air you know the worst worst- they're acrobats The milking exit The team usually dancers give the audience audience audience au au- au- au those looks saying You want more and drag out the bows and then fail to come through with the promise The legit star picking picking- up a little pocket sugar in ii a limited vaudeville tour She has a 12 minute sketch allowing her four gowns three lovers and the stage all to herself at the finish fin fin- ish The juggler with the assistant assistant assistant assist assist- ant with the heavenly gams who tells the gapers pay pay some attention attention attention at at- to me The international favorite This artist usually a femme from the Paris Pans spots carries a to build up the entrance She peers at the peasants down her nose staggers through three dances and lays enough eggs to tomake tomake tomake make a very tasteless omelet The confidential l dirt disher Who's squiring who backstage and come and come closer folks that folks that number two team arent aren't man and wife at all She's crazy about me The flicker has-been has who is introduced with a film showing scenes from his hits Then he plays a sketch which lets you know why he was fired off the payrolls monologists with the blue gags The cork lets them get away with off-color off stuff that would put in jail The flash acts Mostly dance numbers The little girl 37 last May falls asleep and dreams her little dolls come to life and dance for her The audience usually usually usually ally joints joins her in slumber Then theres there's the bachelor rev rev- erie The pansy pansy in the velvet jacket dozes in front of his fire fire- place All his lady loves ankle in and he tenors the living hell out of the beautiful memories The headliners who take it for granted that the mob loves them They come on all palsy and confident and toss off ad libs to their off lay-off chums in inthe inthe inthe the audience The female impersonator After Aft Aft- er he has warbled in two registers regis registers in several fascinating changes of frocks he pulls his wig He struts like a longshoreman longshore longshore- man and offers his thanks in a phony basso The comic who punishes himself himself himself him him- self for laughs He figures its it's funny to eat electric light bulbs fall into the orchestra pit and put you in stitches by letting the curtain come down on his conk in Variety by juveniles in pearl rl gray felt hats bragging about solid bookings on the time With a a. note of thanks for same to my pal and agent who ought to be prosecuted prosecuted prosecuted prose prose- for sending human beings into such primitive country Nut acts This is the kind where the p partners instead of the audience do all the laugh laugh- ing Everything the other does just kills this pair Sometimes they are too overcome to carry carryon on So a large share of ot the customers retire for a till they recover The smart audience Like the Monday afternoon crowd at atthe atthe the old Palace who came to watch you get nervous They spotted the source of every gag and piece of business Many Manya s 's the act that had to work under wraps until the insiders de de- parted Sister teams Two dolls one husky the other cuddly harmonize harmonize harmonize harmo harmo- nize prettily The giant picks Mandalay for her solo very basso and the offers a winsome specialty like Im Ima a Shy Little Quaker Maid with plenty of work on the eyelashes But come on back all you lovable acts hits acts hits as well as flops And God bless you and keep you working |