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Show Scribe Finds Belittling Giants Unsafe Business E BY HEMiY MfLKMOKE United Press Staff C orrespondent NEW YORK. Oct. 12 (L.Hi One of these days I am going to find myself in a dark alley with a group of New York Giant fans and deep sea yachtsmen, and when I do heaven have mercy on my poor peit! The odds against my getting out of that alley without an advanced case of rigor mortis would be 500 to 1, at least. I have no doubt but that the yachtsmen and the members of the Giant club would yank off my ears for watch fobs, wrench off a knee or two for door steps, and then tap me gently on the head with a Cantilever bridge to make sure I realized they weren't jesting. X X X X If you believe I'm wrong, anil just suffering from a persecution complex, drop by sometime and, after slipping slip-ping on a pair of dark glasses, help nie read my mail. Better bring some rubber rub-ber gloves, too, because I open lots of it under water a precaution I adopted after that alarm clock (a gift from i. yachtsman during the America's eup series) went off, scattering assorted bits of shrapnel about the- room. X X X X I wish you were here right now, because a fresh batch of letters just came in and I can tell by the slight sizzing noise they give off the sound is very similar to that of a T-bone steak on the griddle that they're from Giant worshippers. Stand back This one reads, "Mr. Terry draws $40,000 a year. You're so smart, what do you draw?" X X X X Well, now, Mr. Fredericks, what I draw depend on my mood. Sometimes I get a leeling for a landscape- and nothing will do but that I slip on my frock, step brightly bright-ly up to my easel, and put on canvas a neat but gaudy assortment of brooks, rivulets, rivu-lets, birches, weeping willows, wil-lows, squirrels, and "No Trespassing" signs. At .other times nothing will satisfy me but drawing a cat peeking around the skirts of an angular woman named Madge. At still other times I like to draw still life like Johnny John-ny McCarthy at bat or Bill Terry entertaining a group of reporters. 1 xxx If by chance I have misconstrued miscon-strued your ietter, Mr. Fredericks, Fred-ericks, and you mean how much money I 'draw, I will give you a rough outline of my annual incomes: Sports' writing and selection of winners $2,630.11. Shoplifting: This varies. Last week, for eample, I was so busy with the World Series that I didn't have time to make but one haul and it wasn't very productive, pro-ductive, netting nothing but three sets of bicycling trouser clips, two bags of tulip bulbs, fifteen square yards of chicken wire, and an ammonia pistol for warding off ferocious dogs. |