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Show ; rj 1 i A Line o' Type or Twd i ! i ! j i ' 'Lord, wim foils t-:-?c it.tuIs be.' 1 . i ' 1 j 4 -fr j 5y B. t. T. j '.lie ;o;-fcr!Tous cor.juiv.; ion ei t.i- r.:- ; on I'ecuiEr IT, ve r,u.vc cii r.j U".-- i ! e:.' to 3. pre'. ;o.-s eo;!; :no:i oi t-' . ; w.-ne yV't-.i'.-utnc-s. T ''r'.: rro'- , 1 rarest ..'I'l-.- Ye.rWi cv'.-1 :"-;i ;ifc.:t(ru La as to how o.t-:) tV.c tc.ju ' I tcin arranges iii&l: :n t.:r. t:ar-..iii j ; td.i:i::or.. i j rr.e avcTu.j c;t U ,ai v oil i:-.for:ucl j I a'.-OLit L.-.c stars as t"..c army raptaln ine: j tioritd by liie Ai.bc Co,.-rard. i5a;d te j captain: "Show tv.e lh:s bcu3-ar of a poiC-s'ar, AL'be. Tlie d-ue taKf mo It I wii cJiMing jisu it in fat. "f vand;e- i endti wiin wnirii the tUy is i1 1 1 rc.l I . . Oh: oh! tho titiy thin? perciifd very; liii! I"roiii v;ili-o urc c oa!ii:ut tee It wit ::oui straiiiini; our uerks." Ar.d. ! taid the A'obe, lie umncdmtclv gav e orders to his officers to wt!idi aw the I men fifty paces au they al.ouJd. more i easily bte the poh;-bLa.r. I Oiia More Bath Beforo Kingdom Come. (From tho Minneapolis JournaJ.) Wanted One lurye room with bath, by Dec 15, near Lake and Llencpin. Before the planets v liel into lino for the granJ xmll von inv UUe to know that Mr. Garli-lt 13 president of tho I'lovis PackinR Co.. and LliaL Lloyd Windshield of Cam bridge, 111., is very popular with the ladies, especially in cold weather. "Rather. Sir: T woulr-J rather say "previously to" and "previous to," too. l'ruxamp: "The (in)uimous v. w. w;is invented previously (adv.) to the l-." "Tho affair af-fair with Mexico was previous (;idj.) to that." Had you rather I would have preferred pre-ferred to have Kept my own counsel us to what I would rather have preferred".' II. J. W. One. trouble with keeping "an open' mind on Russia" is that the Russian flu may get into it. AlcntaJ influenza, is common. V" hen ever a speaker rises to tell about his experiences ii flu sal a wo suspect him of being a "carrier.'' Getting Trimmed for Christmas. (From the Rhlnelander NVw North.) The barber of Eagle River was very fortunate Saturday. He had many Three Lakes visitors and t hey were : Frank tjodlewfdci, Adrian Small, Orville Small, and Alex OlkowsUi. They ;iM came home with a fine hair cut and much improved in appearance. A Substitute for the Movies. Sir: If the movies ;i re closed pome substitute mil. st. be found for euterlain-ing euterlain-ing the populace. Tl:e following suggestion sugges-tion may be timely. If the first and second sec-ond fingers are crossed 11 nd a nu tmeg rubhed over the finger ends au impression impres-sion of two nutmegs will be conveyed. This pastime will be found intensely diverting. di-verting. In fact, were I offered the op-portunity op-portunity of spending an evening in (his manner or of viewing the latest offering of Mary Pieklin or Charley Chapfurd, the choice would be difficult, inde.d. K C. W. "The boy said he passed along the Union station platform, a nd seeing two rpgistcred mail pouches slit one open and took the contents.'" Mora 1 : When ma iling a ny thing of value"be sure to register it. When tho Sleeper "Wakes. Riq. we were touched, to see our peepers Upon your littio ode on sleepers, In which your shrinking soul seemed well, Awed by tho gilded Pullman cell. Riq, we regret (0 dash your scheme Of haughty overlords that dream Tn silken underwear enshrined With blameless ISthiope to mind; All in a stately pleasure car. With name romantic as a star Sem Irani is or Zanzibar, ('iSpeshully Zanzibar). 9 Fut when the sleper wakes lo wash, Rlq, it's another thing, h'gosh! Then you see sleezy things iu silk (And others of a coarser ilkl; Tall ginks stand waving safety razors. The .short guys scowl at mirror gazers; Kat men constrieting frayed cravats, Bump men massaging dusty bats. The blameless Uthiope demeans Himself for tips of quarter-beans. Riq, when the sleeper wakes, inTtoy, That is the hour of hoi polloi. PAN. M e th y 1 ft eel . we re a d . is a short t er in for paradimethyln 111 inoHzoheneuerotho-carboxylic inoHzoheneuerotho-carboxylic acid. Hereafter, to oblige the compositor, we shall refer to it by the shorter and uglier term. Ha, Watson! (F'rom the Medaryville, lud., Journal.') Dr. Linton says it pays to advertise al-rlghty. al-rlghty. Ho lost one of his Grinne.ll gauntlet gloves one Sunday night east of town. The following Thursday he inserted in-serted a. lost ad in this paper. Tom Mc-(iinnis Mc-(iinnis found, the glove six miles west of Medaryville on the following Friday and returned it to the doctor. Question: How did the glove- get west of town when it was lost east of town? I thought so.' Tho Fontanelle. in Omaha., is si ill serving serv-ing sugar in little sacks, and requesting guests to "help your country win the war by avoiding waste." The Second Tost. (Here's a man who likes' lo work.) 'Vim Feeley: T cot you letter alright that is some business you gets started Wei Tim T. can not say youst what he do cost buf. I thank he do cost youst about 375. 0i) to 400.00 for a cabin and when we make him cheaper we do it V hu vou know dat Yim atlrite I think I can conic for you when you wants me 1 have to build a fine Log Cabin for Dr. Thomas do do Some work at the. Lakes again but will try and conic to you when you wants me you bet V i m I wi 1 1 be w ery glad t o work for you any time when l ean Yim as I vould sooner work you than any man I have ever worked yet Yim I likes to vork when I vorkes and you are a devil to vork youself and we "make him go good becose you have every tilings ready when you starts him and dots what cbuncts vill see you dis vick. - Pete Yogucs. "Trial of Dr. Horace" Reddish of Jer-sevville Jer-sevville is Opened Today." The wheezes concerning whom, we believe, be-lieve, were exhausted at the time of his first appearance. Variation of the Valve Handle Wheeze. (From the Cadillac, Mich.. News.) Ada Armstrong came home to spend the week end with her mother last Saturday Sat-urday and lost her poeketbook containing her month's wages. It is a great loss for a girl that is trying to get her life certificate cer-tificate and we hope tlie one that found it will be honest enoueh to return it so she can at least pay last month's board bill. Note Ada Armstrong's pocket book was found in the bottom of the car she rode home in. They had looked there, but it being dark where the car was, it was overlooked. To prove it. Peg sends us the butcher's slip. There it stands : "oc, beef liver, 7c." "Are the two cents a luxury tax-on tax-on my cat?" she asks. Well, It Has, Hasn't It? Sir: An ex-editor who is now an Insurance In-surance agent has the following sign outside out-side his office at Albany, Wis. ; "For sale, a two-hole s;iot eun." n. l. Mother-in-Law? (From the T,a Porte Herald.) Mr. and Mrs. John Tio!dorf of Ha m-mond m-mond are visiting at the home of William Wil-liam Moon. William Moon is spending several days with relatives in Hammond. |