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Show 4 I I j A Line o' Type or Two 1 j Hew to tho Line, lrt tlie quips fall I where they may. : By B. L. T. The Honiius After. HVro vre are, friends, right side up. 'Neath Khayyam's inverted cup; And aa lar as we can pay, Matters are about as they Wero before. Everything is much the rair.e In the solar system's frame. Grasses grow and waters run Noihing new beneath luc sun . tame old sphere. Life Is drab or life in pay, Thorny path or primrose way; Aii is common, all is slrange; , "Down the ringing grooves of change" tpins the world. I Change, but of a humdrum kind. What we vaguely had in mind Was Bohie new sensation or Thrill we never 1'elL before. Vain desire! NoUiing-'s added to the r-tock: yame old shiver, same old shock. Round about the sun we so In the same old status quo. A wl'ul bore I ! Wo really cannot decide whether wo are agreeably or disagreeably disappointed; disappoint-ed; curiosity balances the desire for prolongation pro-longation of life. And that curiosity will never be satisfied. The planets are so widely spaced aud so cleverly orbited, there is no chance of a collision, and the comets that drop in all run to speed and lack punch. The so-called human race will lag superfluous has hegUn to lag-like lag-like an artist who has passed the crest of his powers. The theory of perfectabillty is but the shadow of a dream. Meantime, Watson, Hore Is Another Echo of the Eed-headed League. fKrom a Washington paper.) Cashiers 2, tall, with auburn hair preferably. pref-erably. Affleck's drug store, 15th and F sts., N. W. The decision of the supreme court is only another bit of evidence that In this democracy a thing is not1 regulated, it Is abolished. It is tlie easiest way: Democracy Democ-racy is incapable of regulating anything. For a While Longer, at Least, Sir: Tn these days of One Hundred Per Cent, why can't we have an American God? Must we always struggle along with the old borrowed one? H. B. K. But if we had an American God. and if he sent down a table of commandments, the hundred-percenters would want to hitch a string of reservations to it. There Wore Brave Nuts Before porta. Sir; Voltaire, in hip article on Astrology Astrol-ogy (Philosophical Dictionary) says: "One of the most famous mathematicians of Europe, named Stoffler, who flourished in the 1 5 til and 16 1 h cent uries, foretold a universal deluge for the year I. This deluge was to happen in the month of February, and nothing can be more plausible, plaus-ible, for Saturn, Jupiter and Mars were t hen m con junction, in t lie sign of the Fishes. Every nation in Europe, Asia and Africa that heard of the prediction was in consternation. The whole world expected the deluge in spite of the rainbow. rain-bow. Several contemporary authors relate re-late that the inhabitants of tlie maritime, provinces of Germany hastened lo sell their lands, at any price, to such h.-j had more money and less credulity than themselves. them-selves. Each one provided himself with a boat to serve as an ark. A doctor of Toulouse, in particular, named Auriol, had an ark built for himself, his family and friends, and the saino precautions were taken in a great part of Italy. At last the mouth of February arrived and not a drop of rain fell. Never was a. month more dry; never were tho astrologers more embarrassed." em-barrassed." G. N. An uncanny prediction is reported by an Iowa paper. 'Shortly before the "end come," runs the obituary, "he folded his hands and said that everything was going higher, and quietly and peacefully he fell asleep." Business of Swooning. Sir: If the word "kiddie" makes you writhe, what happens when you hear an able-bodied man with the nilts of a white hope use the word "comfy" 7 E. IJ. I. "Will somo one h c 1 p a u i d o w with X-! Portland Orecnnian. c What dues she want a tip on Ihc'slpck market? One-half of One Per Cent. Sir: That you are an -astronomer of great learning, pi'"f"ndii y and breadth of vision, to say nothing of depth of psychological psy-chological insight, one has only to read Hie Line to know, and 1 hope you ai;'a mathematician, which you should ' be. i hough I have not seen any Indications of such in your daily out put , for I wan t answers to two quest ions, and in aslrou- I omy 1 don't know I'raims from Penelope, i and in mathematics I could not work an , equation without any unknown quantity, and from the above you will see that I am up a tree, and at tlie end of tlie sentence. First question: How often does "That pale orbed maiden with white fire laden whom mortals call tho moon" get full on or about Christmas eve? Second question: What percentage of Christmas artists who draw pictures of Santa Clans with all the trimmings do not put In their pictures the hcrein-before-ment iom d tnnon full on Christ mas eve, or so nearly full that anuthcr inch of canvas can-vas would capsize her? GtMI.E.WTME EE JEFXE. We shall hae lo refer the first, of the foregoing questions to our favorito source of celestial information, the Ycrkcs Observatory. Ob-servatory. Dense. Mr. "Monahan: "Well, Kelly joined tho N. K.'s." Mr. Sharnle.s: "Tlie TV K" tvi,...' that?" , Mr. Monahan: "Tho Knights of Colum-buSj Colum-buSj you fool!" e. C. M. Curtis the P.aker of Boone, la., Advertises Adver-tises in the Uplift: "We are siill baking the best bread in Uomic. K)e per loaf; 2 loavc-s L'.'ic." , Lcavis it to the upli I ters. Little Boners of Childhood. When 1 was young It is a fact I longed to s;i i I n pon a "yacht." Though balked in that ambition dear And others, tjo, I shrl no tear. No, sir: When loud desires were crunched. The tears: that came were alwavs "unshed." MA(J; In childhood's days mr words T munched The tears that did not flow were 'unshed." KATE. When riding of coal my young mental c gs Were wont to run e ick et y-clackot y. Bituminous- f pardon nie came pretty 'r-nTt. But the other was harder "a n I lira eii (..'' POM MAT." The accent always bothered mo One never knew where I would stick- it Tints I'd proiioinn'c, inevitably. That complicated word "inlriea ! e " KUTII. When T was a child I was strangely afflicted. ! alwavs persisted in reading "ludlcteii " E. N. W.' What lime I HrM. put off the bib, 1 I used to render this as "Ik" I EBIv. In tlie Department Store. Co-Ed: "Where can I buy teddy-bears?" teddy-bears?" Floor Walker: Tnr department, eiejil, floor."- NOKTIIWESTKKX. Winter, v.e d. -spire it. Tho" Other people pli'.C jl lev. wlllmv. Willow, wnlv n. |