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Show I f I A Lin? o' Tvre or Two I ! Lord, tvhat fools these mortals be. 'I I ! By B. L. T. The Still Burning Question. There's a book that is named "The Young Visitors," Which has brought forth a host of Inquisitors, In-quisitors, Who've guessed till they're crazy Whether Barrie or Daisy Will admit it is his work. Or is it hers? H. B. It is amazingor is it? the number of fond parents who have discovered a little Daisv Ashford in their homes. A lithry editor relays to us a Biimp'.e communication communica-tion from one f. p., and marks it, "For your wastebasket." There it now reposes, although it deserves printing. Absolut Zero in Warnings. (From the Council Bluffs Norpareil.) Pure cider from sprayed apples, delivered deliv-ered to you the same day pressed. Warning: Warn-ing: As we use no preservatives, this cider, if left exposed to the air, will ferment, forming hard cider. Bring your keg and we will fill it. Keelino Fruit Farm. Old Bob Peattle flags us by leased wire and observes: "The kaiser said, . 'Our future is on the water.' May we not say, 'Our future is on the waterwagon'? Or have we?" Whether wo have or not, It is. Refreshing Candor. Sir: Despite unsettled conditions which menace our beloved country, it is as refreshing re-freshing as a breath of mountain air across a fevered nick bed to note that some of our railroads are still running true to form. Did you lamp the statement state-ment in the Milwaukee "Sentinel" that in order to conform to the new clock schedule sched-ule "the fcioo line will dispatch all trains on their regular time with orders to lose an hour on the road"? J. F. D. "In this crisis," says tho head of the National Farmers union, "the farmer must get to the helm and stay at the helm until the ship of stare is brought safely into the haven of rest." But what should a farmer know of helms7 Let him seize the plow of state and steer a straight course. 'Labor Omnia Vincit" Sed Non in Omne Tempus. Oh, gods, while I'm able to make this old jaw go, I'll pray for a janltorship in Chicago! It's the cinchiest joblet in heaven or hades For us Yonpons, Politzskla, Gltoffs and O'Gradys, And other American citizens (sic) Who love the dear states as a dog loves a kick, A scluirrel a gun, or a window a brick. No basement apartment in some dingy block, But a villa or lodge at Oconomowoc! And it surely would not be hard to contrive con-trive Sofhe sort of mansion on Lake v Shore Drive, Where we'd breakfast in bed, smoke dollar cigars. Have cabaret parties with girlg and guitars, gui-tars, And a garage chock full of the costliest cars. No fires, no ashes, no sweeping, no hosing, Just loafing and lolling, just playing and posing! Oet up at twelve-thirty and call It a day, Then drive the old bus to the bank for our pay Some life for a janitor I'll say It Is! (But others get theirs, why shouldn't he his, While the getting is good, and the landlord's land-lord's asleep, The consumer dead easy, the public like sheep?) The owner and tenant are cowed by the boss Ah, he is the boy who can put It across!- There's nothing to fear, no worry, no loss. Unless unless at times I am wondering If off in the distance I do not hear thundering. thun-dering. Can It be that the public has found a bellwether bell-wether Who has organized, coached them and brought them together, And that now they are marching ten million strong To reassert liberty, overthrow wrong? Oh, gods, should they make renewed freedom free-dom and law go, I should pray for no Janltorship In Chicago! Chi-cago! P. S. W. Shamyl Bey, Tartar chief, says that he and his people are not Bolsheviki, that they are too uneducated to understand such theories. Is this another jab at our intellectuals? Or in the Middle. Sir: There is some chuckling along the border over Mayor Couzens losing hia meal ticket to the prince's banquet over in Windsor, because he slopped over a bit (so they think over there) over De Va-lera Va-lera when he fugltlved through our burg. Ain't it the gawstruth (hat whichever end of the Irish poker you grab, you get burned? J. U. K. Tt will not bo so difficult to enforce the prohibition law as some peoplo fancy. We should say, offhand, that a detective force of not moro than two million men would be required. For the Class in Cabell Lottres. Sir: In James Branch Cnbclt's "Jur-gen" "Jur-gen" I came across this: "Indeed, It is a sad thing. Sylvia, to be murdered by the hand which, so to speak, is sworn to keep an eye on your welfare, and which right-fullv right-fullv should serve you on its knec." .Some hand, this. CHEM. (Did he not say, "so to speak"?) A colored chauffeur, wishing to us the long distance telcphonef asked the local to give him the "far-away operator." You must have remarked her far-away tone, and suspected the far-away look In her eyes. Our Country's Father. XL. From a Fhort account of his death by Tobias Lear. Who was his Private Secretary for nearly ; fifteen year. We find that December thirteenth, Seven- tpen Ninety-nine, He was surveying the lawns around his mansion fine, Marking some trees he wished cut down and taken away. He'd gotten wet while riding the previous day. And to his house with a cold he was confined con-fined Till noon, when the sun shone out sublime. sub-lime. XLT. To complete his surveying seemed his aim, But that evening of hoarseness he complained. com-plained. Ho tried aloud to read the latest current news. And to his family did express his views. XL1I. At last he and Martha to their chamber went. Hand in hand, these two with life content. con-tent. And they laid them down In a peaceful sleep, Resolved their pace of pure life to ever keep. XLIII. But at two o'clock in the morning when all was still, Oeorge said to Martha, "I'm quite 111." He would not let her rise, for 'twas not warm. He said, "Mnrtha, dear, a cold might do you harm." Not Knocking the Visiting Clergy. (Bulletin, Contra! TWrmed Church. :rand Rapids.) "Servl.-rs today In charge of the Rov. J. Van Peursum, Second Reformed church, Kalanmzoo. Mich. Nt Sundfi v Professor John F. Kulzlnga, 1. D., Holland, and then, praise tho Lord, our own pastor." |
