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Show 7 . A Line o' 1 ype or Two 'Lord, what fools these mortals be. r f By B. L. T. Tiie Steno's Love Sougf. Dear, dear! What can the matter be? Dear, dear! What can the matter be ? " Dear, dear! What can the matter be? The boss is so long In the loop. He promised to buy me a new purp'.o ribbon. rib-bon. He promised to buy me a new purple ribbon. rib-bon. He promised to buy me a new purple ribbon. rib-bon. The old one won't write worth a whoop! PAX. The Los Oncrlaso Record publishes portraits por-traits of "the fattier of our country, President Pres-ident Wilson," and "the one-step father of our country, Kinp Solomon." with the announcement: an-nouncement: "Fred H. Solomon and his 500,000 patrons of the penny dance desire to take this opportunity to extend a hearty welcome to Our President. May he always remain as brave as the red, as pure as the white, and as true as the blue." Ed Sat Up With Her That Night. (From the Goldfield Tribune.) A cow entered the office of Attorney E. Carter Edwards this morning, took a Literary Digest from the shelves, and ate it right down to the last "according to." "Mountain Dew Still Is Taken by Iron-ton Iron-ton Cops." Huntington Herald-Dispatch. They say If you get the habit you prefer pre-fer it to the mellowest bourbon. Referred to Our Neighbor. Sir: Amy Leslie snys that in Chicago "lady murderers are prolific." This is certainly alarming, but what can be done about it? F. C. W. "PTo was," communicates P. B. E?., "of Italian extraction, and ho had had a disastrous dis-astrous experience at the air filling station! sta-tion! He told it: 'I joost put da noose on for bout fiva da minootes. Bang! I geta da one helva beeg puncture.' " 'The Ked Room. (From the hitherto unpublished letters of P. Scribbles Wrott. ) Dear r.okeby: 'Fore God. man, I vow I cannot endurn this red. red room another' hour, this P.ed n-om," whereto I havo been sentenced indefinitely. indefinite-ly. You. too. are with me In it. Do you not loathe that unspeakable shade of fiery, brilliant, eye-won rying red. from which there is no escape'.' Kven the windows win-dows havo brick-colored shades and vor-million vor-million shutters. You do h-1 what I mean, do yon not. nlth ich and none has said it better than Flaubert "human snecoh is like a cracked tin kettle, ket-tle, on which we hammer out turns to make bears dance when we long to move the stars"? Retirim: the whirlwind whirl-wind has rove red u" all wita the red rust of dlseontent. distrust. and de.pair. Nearly every; h it . g that Is now being written of any eons'-.p;en'e it cannot be o: hor wise is tinctured with blood, the bloorl of li'lb'K ShoriP.ir un the sills of heaven, when Its found. ulons have been so sadly shaken, is sweaty a: d sa -rlfie-.al hm-ine-s. No winder we ha e forcot tn the dreams. th -- pp-h intone dreamp. that were ours for t.'.o sekiroj. six or was it six hur.d r.-d 7 ears a .. . V I turn to mv er-t while frfe. r,!.bon G M. -. T . Walt-r P.. and en yo.jp side. ; o I . T.. . W. H.. P. H . ''W ait.'" .and a Ko"(V.y 1 ittalnm of others What da I d:s -over? T.ial they were of arifth'-r pbi'e'.. of anth-T existepee. So at bast it ee:ns. Anl to be with them and kP"W them again I nu:?t become a r.valeptje, i nd g off out of tin fle-m into t '.at d.ar. ..id, um .! I'.r'n Ii-en. win-re tiie ee wan r'".er tired. RT.d tho friendly voices Fp.ko s-ift word. of Fwoet r.'fr. fort. There, as In a Ira. n.--. "libi-ro emmam n e.iin" for a little, and know r.r hie., iv Now Put. Pol-oh v. I f.nd all t-'o so-.n th.at I n:u Mill a urd'v of hoiv and f-nirit- r m:n !. if you w.h ; tho-e s-ft, i'nitn.-r'.n.; w.ihs of ein-Talil turn a-i tai iut. this b-rr! 1 rod. and b. -o I am on e more, da'nmlt. riht :n tho mahile ..f ice: :.;t v .and our lit.st an'.h:'-to;d an'.h:'-to;d innddh- ' Gel out vonr largest ! r'l-hi", old Th!r.g. for P- v.-'s s ike. and t.:.t t h- Aa'.l- any eo'nr y.e; like eo--pt th:? d.iinr.aPh', h.ihsa, cub b--s. an.ar. hitl b.hiaev.k rod 1 ' liver yours. W. W horfno -"al vert In 'Tho Career of K.a the-pio p.- .'h'i.' Scenario Pv Katarvn ir: "Ad'.-. Tip your liat to Kat l. Hick Mor.it ori tun. lb: mi th. Mor:,,,.g Ore-"ori!an All par'.O'-; or iiedstors who h:ue any Id. Is or ii'.on'v due are reipa.ted to pros' pro-s' nt s in:- not later t'.an j temher T'.1. I I s'.id not b re-p.'nnhh. for m:ho later than that date. Nh-k Hick. "HI r.irmen Will Not Strike. '"--P-oston Herald. That will no e t at o cb.a mre-i In tho f ore and the Ma.;e burlne;..-, will It not'.' Landlord, Fill tho Frying Tnn! Sir: "Pot fi-, build up the rr..fit- tfit pto!d''lMon t.'-'k aw, c." i:d e rt : s : s.ip-p- )io ; - In a lei. id Keepers- j. urn.il. 'Well, rharlb-. if It am't o " Charlie' Wliat. her ronna have, ;'ia:!:o" Sure yon ar-v .piM one." " Wi-.l. i p. a i.- It a liln ered h erring, tb.on "Th.at's good for mo. too, Il.irrv." (Thev , at.t "i 'tie on mo tiow, Pd," "Til (alio n pi.mked whl t efls!i." " 'Not her be- ring. I iarrr." "Well, here' a ko." (They ratY "i lot I a be Koinh lib t he w i ;,. will bo lookiu" for me. Wouldn't ih.'p.nsit her for t:;e worlh" "Aw, i : i ran bavo 'indhor, Ain't potma hurt ve. Two bhiei Imsi, mount. mou-nt. n- tb1 timo. llariy. Ye tal;e sonio-thi:'. sonio-thi:'. too. 1 Inrrv "' "'Ihanlci, I ain't r.itln'. Put PI1 yrA n pnndied baddoei; in my pi i kot." Cl'be ea t . ) "I'd, T got the rino-d little wife In the worlh Ttoiihlo with men is, thev don't 'pree'nte then- wp ea. 1 do, I hi. ip.tt be i;oln- now. Put le's take one more Thl-'s on me. Sure It p. Vou p iid for las' immd. Malte It n i; -od one tin timo." "Von said P. Charlie. block trout nil beUTl-e." "l;iv off that Muff, Fd. Tate nil ( ), K . . Put tonioriow, oil, boy. What that Muff doe. to your be:id." "No. Iff' brook tinut mi benrre for me. T r-an' taffy It Taa what 1 said an' t lias what I w anl " "P!x me up u baited halibut. Tlairv." (TlieV ral.1 "Tinie lo ,lo.ie n p, netltn. " A w id, I bit vv " ' loodnl". I 'd '' "i loodul1. ( -liaillr " W. S. Tho inan n'or of the ball tonm at PbifT-ton. PbifT-ton. Iinl,. Ii.i .dene. I boss Pi.able jis cat' her. They f- iv be K HntM Adair of PoiPiuil. put. n.P or-tb:et or-tb:et "bo, spilnr i and ruunliu; waler." ThMl there l the ow Webber liofel In Peetnr. A rlt . wbl, h announ (ha! It Is "cdUlpped with water end seweiiine." " 'What wni the naiiow,"d ef-eapo nil evnr bud. on Par.e 1 :'. Ma-t lane Inteji-tlomi Inteji-tlomi on Paco :e " Peatmi Tin veb-r. by nol run them on lie -aine pai;e? fld reader: dolour lntn - yen, yen, f-'lr' llerbrrt Aiituner n n pi inn tuner In I A a leif on. I . P. lb t : "111 I IP liuilll pllir. ChcM'i- Hpl Uli ; Tim onl nde-iualo (ddlo-oplM- for I'm .e .1. '. I Pi I I .1 I . Mnl.iin. d In I P oeoHne1-! Hue, " i,,. Knew put the w mi hi inn - . nil I .-lib b I I f ' op I. now a line. Uioio eoiu oh.t.e , t ,ne ,e i t' 11 i No. If I" the II, f bi d 1 , P-lnm e, pldlo. acln 'a la ! j m |