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Show ' 1 i Stand on Public Questions ; By RING W. LARDNER j 'People's Candidates' Speak Out ! Chi., March 13. riiHE people's candidate" for mayor - last night announced for the first time his stand on tne various questions that will confront voters at the April 1 election. His opinions wcrp expressed in a hot speech made before the members of the .Lunch club at the corner of Grace and Halsted. I Following are the points the speaker brought out, under the designated headings; head-ings; GAS. "It is much easier to learn to read a gas meter than to speak French. As tor the mechanical end, I have always found it advisable to turn on the gas and to allow the superfluous air to escape es-cape before lighting the match and attempting at-tempting ignition. Financially, it is a good idea to pay the bill the "day before the discount time elapses." UbriT fea T"lHIIi MMlfll TRACTION "If elected your mayor, T will confine my interest in the traction problem to the Broadway surface cars. I advocate cither leaving the Loop before 4 o'clock in the afternoon, or boarding the ear at Madison and La Salle, prior to the influx." of ladies, who grab all the seats. I have found it a good idea to epend two cents on an afternoon newspaper, in which one can seem to be deeply engrossed when ladies stand near one's seat and eye one. Another, more difficult, way of insuring a rest for one's dogs is to get a seat and then feign slumber. I am strong for facing forward when alighting and not talking to the motorman." PATRIOTISM. "If the next war takes place twenty years from now, I will offer four sons to the draft." PROHIBITION. "I subscribe to the mot to, 'No beer Xo work. No work No Lat," At the conclusion of the address, the candidate tried to get away beforo the crowd could embarrass him with a demonstration, dem-onstration, but the man in charge of the , , club called him back and said, "This is your check." |