Salt Lake Tribune | 1918-12-20 | Page 16 | Free Advice to Investors Red X Guarantees Profit

Free Advice to Investors I By Ring Y. Lardner. ! Red X Guarantees Profit i i (Answers to inquiries are based upon information in-formation which we believe reliable, fair and unprejudiced, but beyond the exercise exer-cise of care in securing such information we assume no responsibility.) CHICAGO, Dec. 19. To the editor. How can I invest a dollar to obtain the best yield, the greatest margin of safety and the most enjoyment? J. have been advised to put it into eggs. BILL.FORMAN. While there would probably be some en-i en-i joyment aitd a fair yield out of tlie sixteen six-teen eggs your dollar would buy at the market, tlie element of pafely is lucking. luck-ing. Kggs are purely, and not always that, speculative. Moreover, you can't enjoy your eggs and have them. To afford af-ford the owner pleasure, eggs must be used either as. food or grenades. In either case, they're gone. fpHlS' column does not question the mo- tives of your previous adviser, but urges as the far bettor investment a dollar's dol-lar's worth of Red X button. Lin like the eggs, the button does not havt to be eaten or thrown to be enjoyed, en-joyed, and unlike the eggs again, the button will stay with you a year without with-out protest. Moreover, when you buy the button, you register your purchase and the fruits are yours even if you lose the button. If you lose the eggs. they will not be returned to you unless the finder is insane and not then unless you have engraved your name and address ad-dress on each and every egg. AS FOR yield, the button pays your initiation fee and a year's dues in the j largest club in tlie world. The saloon j is supposed to be the poor man's club, but we know of no saloon where a person per-son remains a member in good standing at an annual expenditure of SI. Jn fact, the expenditure of less than that amount in a day usually results in the member's name being posted and hi3 jaw. pasted. B ESI DlCS which, the main idea in belonging be-longing to a club is that it entitles one to be spoken of as a prominent Huh-1 Huh-1 man when he is wed or dead, and in either case, the writer of the obitua; y generally mentions the name of the club which gives him the title. Well, neither Jhe bride's parents nor the pallbearers would object to haviny their names linked with that of a member of the Red X. but they might make an awful holler if thev were spoken of in the same breath with a rftember of, say, the Work- ingman's Exchange. As for safety, this column can give j ample assurance ' that the Red X will I still be in existence at the end of a year, j which is more than can be guaranteed I for either an csg or a saloon.