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Show .1 Distractions and Distractions i By EARL JAY GLADE Elficiency Engineer i l A 7 0 Bropeao fr ends n Vl ,st ,hat v r l8n(, f Y y J taoo it has th nat ral t ndeu f g tt igoro si " ur 1 be e r u r e re t n a 1 an s k "kfrnt on t t lear as tue art In the t r t (la ie In ted state' r are ml to dwell u the realm of (he n pe bol c That be ng tr e lap , o e yo nge tellows are all hvper oie. That o kht to o casiou a lslble t ffeu ng m o r ba kbones - But now tint he e too 1 ne ghbors ross the (tht Atlant c are so occu ed n pa j u one another the sweetest t o uilin i the pres o s n on cher Vljhoo ! ml the ch en Vch en i h lhnei fash "n t might he aijr prate to n ler tew Araer on distract o s t it con b done without aus ng too urn h d t orafort It is true that w do exaggerate hers n America This is evident in mo t e jrvthiag froa architecture to nic from the skyscraper to The Stars and btripes Forever s But that a what mai.es America America 1 What do we raro if the tops of oni b sinews offices are in the throes of wrote while the f I wer floors enjoy the balnu at of sum e as long as th s arrangement give3 us the best bus ne s offic in the world! What do we car f the bass drums and trombones lo-e their equihb r urn ui Sousa a masterp ece if in so going thev make oven atan uimsolf t ome to time mark tuna? To the American these institutions are not distraction they are bless ng Our distractions are trencral v Uttle things that interfere with our vork ng eft c en b occasioning waste of en ergy To manv of these distinctions we lis e made ourselves more ar less ob h ions howeier t has taken assi luous effort to do th a. lamming and hang ng for generations s bound to have a definite effect upon ua as a type The American not phlegmatic he is generally lymphatic or nervous w th the emphasis upon the nervous. The reason is obvious. The Psjchologj Professor Of all distractions sound is the most incessant in its appeal Thus speaks the psychology professor as he thrills his open mouthed proteges This is the scientific way of stating that hen William Jones is given fourteen heavy rugs to beat and there happens to be a particularly good programme at the American theater af approxi , matelv the same tune the euphonious bang bang on those, fourteen rugs s so ineessant in its appeal that the theater programme, is completely for got en There is someth ng loose somewhere some-where because it doesn t always work that wav In justice to the contention of the professor however it should be stated that W3ham has a lingering recollee tion of a certain happening on the prev ous Saturday when the same appeal ap-peal theaterwartf was overwhelming and 'W-llie vilted On that oeeas on ust after he had struck, those four teen rugs with three or four Tather m different love-tapa, there came from somewhere over the back fence a call Mf Ttal clearness Oh Skin nay' (Skmnay bein"- William s middle name, used, ho vever only in the ab sence of the young man s mother) There was alienee in the vie nity of the-Tugs the-Tugs a confhet was raginf it was the appeal of the banr ban"' vs the appeal of the melod ons call from be-ond be-ond the fence After a deliberate cons deration of three and one half see on is, Will am felt it a matter of honor to asceriaan definitely the source of the all And so be-tia. Several hours later looking very ranch like Charley Chaplin Willie put in appearance again at the rendezvous of the rugs In anticipation of this renewed activity on the part of h s son, the father was near In some very regrettable manner n the melee that lmmed ately ensued the lad s posterior , portion was confused with the surface of those thirteen and one half unbeaten rugs and much dust was raised in that proximity Other things were raised foT sound beine incessant in its ap peal brought f rst the neighborhood i and then the pol ce patrol This extended ampl ficat on is of fered as vindication of the professor s premise Of all distract ons sound is the most incessant in ts appeal Dr Koch and New York In onncct on with the first pr nci r le hich has been la d down t s ell to rementer that all eniphas s js no emphasis That is to say if a. listurban e goes on cont nuously and s susta ned in the same degree there i no d sturbance That s Amer can enough Last vear when the famous German hv cian Dr Koch is ted New York he w as appalled at the turn o 1 To I m t as the Bed am of the Bedla ies It was deafen ng t was crush ng In fact awful onsen ble t emed that e eryth ng from the angle Torn to Caruso was part c pat ng The fans at the Polo grounds were a Jd ng the r m tes b fa or nf, persp r p e w th pleasa t ei an 1 ex o at o mtl the al gen f ex o is ind flowers the fog hor s on puff ng n er tus and the sc eech ng ele atcd aliva s 10 ned at the p ope no men And here vas a certain pron eni Cha ta qua le turer t on ah ngton 1) L who also re derel a con i ao alio co r b t ou ln p to of al th s h ore Pr Ko h o 1 1 on noo the Cothan te that New o k el I s ppose to tl en s uoi It largel a matter of let tio The 11 ne or reall be en barrassed about t as long as tl ev kpif a vay from Buch western centers aa Codv Wvo or Woodland ttah The indoAv Buzzer It appears that Salt Lake s not go ing to be ent relj satisf ed with the Cotham def n t on of no se There iBb a time in o r c t when e ta n fo u ta n pen and o elt dealer, vere de fied bv r cl ck g le e wh h hpa a del ghtful tatto po he w udon pane It was a sort of a perpet al mo hon arrangement wh ch so ndod ot un 1 ke a telegraph instrument receiv ng a B lly Sunday sermon The pleasure of working n the prox imitv of this thine m st have oeen great and the wonder is that it' use has not been much more vilely extend ed Its association with the 3S cent fountain pen must have be responsi ble for its relegation to obi non for our streets are now pract call c ear Another plendld ind cat on i the impro ement evident in our lead ng ba ber shops in this matter of ehmmat n" distractions. Ever since the f ret shop was opened during the stone age whe the rator was a piece of fl nt the barber has been ditinguished for his loquacity and veracity Access to the Pol ce Ga zette pro ided a veritable fund of in formation which was not onlv at the d pos tion of the sha ee but was actually inflicted upon h m With the introduction of the rec in ng . chair however there came a desire to sleep, dur ng the operation The failure I on the part of the patient to grunt af f rmatively or negatively at the proper (intervals in the conversation was n a n easure repons ble for the decrease n the amount of informational matter pre sented It may also have been oc casioned bv a request on the part of the shavee for just a synops s or the headlines The modern shops in our splendid city are now known for the splend d strides thev have made in confin ng their oper atives to the r SDecific functions Tor instance it is only seldom nowadays that you ever hear a dissertation on the relative effectiveness of hair tonics To business seems to be the motto and while vou sleep your head face neck hands feet and shoes are the objects of professional attention The time is not far distant when the shirt and collar will be laundered and the trousers pressed" during the ftme interim Here you have comfort in the essence Street Car Motormen There is a piece of local etiquette which should be heralded to future gen eralions I have reference to the courteous cour-teous manner in which every endeavor is put forth to make jpleasant f be work of street car and interorb,an motor men Although these gentlemen usually try their best not to be attentive and although they are surrounded with an asBeBtos cnxtain to keep out light and noise disttactions the generous fr ends are not -all deterred-in therr endeavor to ? resent an enterta nment worth while t may be a glowing description of Joe Gedeon s homer or of Emperor Wil bam g army it may be an eloquent d s seitation on the political situation or anything to keep up the monologue Ow ing to a lack of facilrties complete cab aret acts as yet are not feasible but under the circumstances the cit zens cer ta nly do well and so do the motormen Talking always has been a pron nent distract on in America The matter has assumed such grave importance as to necess tate national leg slat on R ght now in the cap tal our representat ves haTe under cons deration the eloture nhich f passed will el m nate speed es of the Marathon var ety The magn fi cent e ghteen hour effort of Senator La Follette will be remembered It cost the government nearlv $oOO 000 to re port publish d stnbute etc As yet no defin te word has been received as to That t cost those who had to 1 sten or who were supposed to be listen ng The Telephone Here s a peculiar co ncidence The telephone is at once the n ost mpOrtant bu mess and house hold conven ence and at least occas onally the most ag gravat ng of d stractions How often has the young mother labored all mora ng to soothe her babe to slumber land when just at the crit al moment the phone bell peals forth 1 ke a B g Ben at 4 30 a n In a moment the entire 1 onsehold s in ac t on There s son eth ng about the tele phone that compells immed ate atten t on In an endeavor to make nstant d spos t on of the 1 ttle one the mother Eteps into the baby s bath tub and el n 1) ng over he ro ker nstdffd of go ng around t she d st rbs the equil br um of a p ece of Dresden ch na on the buffet and great s the fall thereof A.rr;v ng at the nstrument her left ear s p efced first w tl a bu77 buzz and then w th a v t ol c Who is th st Unde the c rcumstances she gi es her dent t er sweetl where pOn tl e o ce calls bacl Wrong n m ber What n the world nd bang goes the rece ver on the other I en 1 And bang goes the rece vor on th s end In the n eant me the baby s do ng h s best to stage a cred table i en 1 t on of the Be It ever so hum 1p etc Tf a call comes for father when he u the m dst of 1 s n orn nr tub he 1 st act on s noth g short of f 1 Postponen ent of tl e all w 1 ne er lo Tt h 1 e an orde for a n 1 on of I o eth g It mav be a message f om tl e I ng of Kamer n Onlv one tl ng a be lone the fam I n st be r si ed ell p 1 nto the cellar wh lo fatl er n akes 1 s si pnt Ir rm g entr Tl ere ho con s the car at on of nl s al nrowe j 1 perfe ton a no lei fo P ax ties Is. that ou Mr All askel he o e n at on s -luntel fathe Papa wants to k ow f he na take 1 oe tl s ift an Tt s ecessa v it ! o nt to delete a a agripl for ob s ea ons o tl e rt n falls tl i ng tatcd appar t on mo nt ng the sta wa One of the fa or te telephone d ver s ons s en oved at meal t mes W 1 he 1 e at hon e du ng tl e noon ho r' T hall call tl en and the o e s gon "V tl twent utes wl ch to eat the 1 n 1 eon allread th fnm nlice a e en one n epa p1 f fatl to sav t e tl te one e Of o e no n w I lo fathe in 1 nther i sts at s op t est w hn t 1 So wp s t a 1 s t ani faces n each othe The te ep one i e for ns an em nent serv e that t s poss bly un fa r to con pla n at the manner in which thoughtless people use t Orga zed soc ety etri es to elim nate no s.e d stract ons that concentrat on mav be poss ble w thout und e waste of energj To state that worth wh le ef fort is onl poss ble under concentration s s n plv to emphasize the obvious |