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Show MR DOOI FV OnMii3)iAiDTni:lEwADMmi3Tirion TO Exc shove hlni off." ''G " fluvr ELL, sir," said Mr. Doolcy, " there's BlyW wan thing I'll niver do again, an' that's attind a pollylickal fun'ral iv WmL r'"um Jcnni,5&s Bryan. It's now pijcars since I first got out th' stovepipe hat Hpja' crape band around it an' thought I'd seen Kir (hat pleasant, open countenance at cau-mjm cau-mjm conrintion. Since thin T've seen Capital fern to th' top iv tli' Slock Exchange buildin' Hgrt him off th' roof to an indignant mob iv Hk finished him with their coupon Hp- I've 'ecu him destroyed be Joe Bailcy an' pwialcfl be Champ Clark. I've seen him put Htjk -with a pig iv lead sewed lo his feet an Hpatotlf river. I've hcerd th' despairin' cry, Hfttadful splash, air th' muttered prayers iv Mpivrlc lake Kim.' Ivry time J picked up a Hfl r-rcad an article savin' : ' End iv Bryan J'npwm. Oscar Undhcrwood's splendid ag? 'n taepiir th' tariff on tenpenny nails JP u frcc-lhradc-in-th'-year-cight-thousand ENmistliat the ghostly specter iv Bryan an' fm;'m 't lias been hangin' over th' party 3fc las been shooed away.' Wwver agreed, Hinnissy', with thim cynics msj lbtyc cant ijCcvc anilyi:iimg yC sec in MfPers. I liavc always insisted that th' nfc were fairly ace'rate. But it seems M?1 avcn thrust thim whin they dale with Jennings Bryan. Fr, far fr'm beiir wan y' toymen whose faces, distorted be g p in makin' a publick addhress, no :B Joinings is as much alive as a Kerry L picnIC Whin tlr new administration lE?.n,er ,v lh' ship 'v state an' with song aDimniycrat cabinet gathers around th' Whiv facc that 0CCUPV th' lP chair jt u; 'nan with th' carvin' knife will be th' fiL has 1oorcd its iloquince on us fr ato7CarS' At lastC; lvLs what 1 rrcad WL I; lhrue an Bryan ain't goin' into tli' aIiJact,,Cr be 0ltsidc, fr there's where wtL,l'?i0n 1 ,'"rcad thafc Dock WU" an" gS tllramin' was ;in assurance Wilis l! W"d 110 Iongcl cl,'slurb th' counthry ' J"?' an' 1 sa's (o mcsilf : 'There W J'" fit down th' cellar stairs.' mU'l , Vcnl lh' da' afthcr th' Miction CCh T u,f p;i"aper- Th sy dawl Sfarttic f- ver th' Plcasant hil,s iv No K Th! h VlllagC iv Pr5nccto was awak-Pan' awak-Pan' 1 bdIs 'crc rinprin an' students Elan' p?nts werc hl,rr,in' caer,y BNJi . excrciSls which in this excellent 9 iIlorenni5,Sy causcs as much enthusyasm mtk Gr0 bUt I10t so worthy outdurc W" in"PS f PatIlriotic Dimmycrats who ftptoth'0" !h.' milk thra5n t0 offcr thcir riKivth' pr,Sldilt ilict in anny capacity fr'm S lrcairy to inininter to th' coort iv WWir th. assimlj1cd on tli' spacious lawn mspint1"0 mansion where th' grreat Mt'm - l n,Shl 'V ailSl"sh dhrcamin he jjW.v. U I)ract'ra) joke In- th lillvgrnft " At that moment th' conductor tv th' thrain fr'm the south pulled th' bell cord, an' th fretful injinc, comin' to a stop, let off a tall man wearin' a slouch hat an' carryin' a small bag. His face was pale, his lips was closed tight as if be some great effort iv a mighty will, an' a look iv high determination glittered in his dark eyes. Although Al-though well past th' prime iv life, his hair had grown no further thin th' back iv his head. It is not nicissry fr me to tell yc that th dark sthranger was Willum Jennings Bryan, That's who it was. me lad. Ye can go out an' bet a dollar dol-lar on it an' put two more on fr me. " Afthcr graspiu' th' outstretched hand iv th' Pullman porter an' thankin' th' dazzled Ethy-opyan Ethy-opyan fr a pleasant journey, he stalked down th' sthreets iv th' home iv larnin', iv Woodrow Wilson, Wil-son, an' iv Hobey Baker. But none iv tli' pleasant pleas-ant sights an' sounds disthracted him. He did not look at the halls iv larnin' ; he stepped acrost Lake Carnaygie without increasin' its purple flood with a single tear iv riv'rence, passed by block afther block iv Queen Mary Anne cottages, homes iv rich an' famous profissors. without a glance, an' made his way to what ye might call, if ye want to, th' prisidintilictial mansion. " Pushin' his way through th' throng on th lawn, he climbed th' stairs, kicked th' dog off th porch, opened th' dure without knockin', tossed his hat an' coat air valise to th' -hired girl, ordhcred his eggs biled four minyits, an' walked into- th' Iibry. Th' prisidint ilict was scttin' in front iv a blazin' gas log rcadin' fr th' tenth time th' most Avondhrous romance fr'm rale life ivor published, entitled, 'Th' Dimmycrat Victhry in Matsachoosetts.' Our hero pulled up a chair, an', wakin' th' Dock fr'm his revry with a slight, f rindly push iv lh' foot, said : ' I'm sorry to be so late.' ' My dear Colonel Bryan,' says the Dock. ' I'm glad to sec yc.' ' Faith says Willum Jennings, Jen-nings, ' small blame to' yc fr that, my boy. I'm no boaster, but thrice have I been th' standard bearer iv th' party an' wanst th standard buryer, i'll make a note iv that quip. 'Twill liven up me lecture. Glad to see me, ar-rc yc? Well, ye ought to be. But f r me 'tis back ye'd be in yonder yon-der halls ne: year larrupin' th third declension into th' Htlle Presbytecryans instead iv livtn' rent free at th' foot iv Pinnsylvanya Avnoo, with siv-inty-fivc thousand dollars a year iv my good money in ye'er pocket. Yes, sir, sivinty-five thousand, thou-sand, an' tvvihty-fivc thousand more f r thravtilin' cxpiuses. an' if ivcr money was stolen fr'm a man but ye must excuse me. T was carrid away be a great emotion. " ' What I wanted to tell yc,' he says, ' was th' raison I was late was I stopped over at Wash'n-lon Wash'n-lon to give directions about th' arrangement iv rooms in th' White House. I won't want much space, but I need plenty iv light air air on account iv me enfeebled lungs, an' I've chose th' sicond flure f r me quarthers. Th' ground flurc as usual will be devoted to our rcciption rooms an' dinin' room. But ye ought, to sec th' place I've picked out V r yc to live in ! No, won't tell ye. It must come as a surprise. But I'll jet yc in on lh' sccrit thic far I studied th' matthcr with gr-reat care. I said to mesilf: 'He's a man iv simple air' stujous tastes. He's not used to magnificence. magnifi-cence. He has led what ye might call a cloistered life. He wudden't like a hotel. Where will I put him? An' thin, ye know how it is, how some little thing will put ye on th' thrail iv an idee ye've been seckin something happened, the furnace fur-nace man shakin' down lh' furna.ee or something, air lo an' behold ! lh' problem was solved. I wint down an' inspicled lh' site, an', be hivens, if 1 hadn't been ye'er thruc frind IM'vc took it fr mesilf. I'm goin' to have a coat iv whitewash put on, an' ye'll find th' light fr'm th' coal shutc fine f r rcadin'. T'd like to discuss tlr dinin' room with ye. I want to get ye'er views. Wud yc like both lircakfasl an' lunch there or on'y lunch? I'm an arly riser mesilf an' poor comp'ny, I'm afraid, at breakfast. An' how about ye'er dinners? din-ners? Be absolutely frank with me on this pint. I'm not in th' laste sinsitive. I desire to lave th? matther entirely in ye'er hands. Wud ye prefer to go out f r ye'er dinner or wud ye like to haye it sint down on th' dumb waiter? It's imma-teeryal imma-teeryal to me. '"Now about th' offices. I don't want ye to throuble ye'er mind about thim at all. There's no good in givin' thim wan minyit's 'thought an maybe worryin' ye'ersilf sick about a thankless task. I'll sec that th.' offices arc properly filled. H's a disagreeable business, but there's nawthin' I wudden't do-fr yc. Dock, an' f r our counthry. I know ivry man in this broad land that's fit to hold an office, an' I'M tell yc how I make mc lest. First I exclude, nachrally, all Republicans. Thin I throw out, to cxpriss mesilf with rcsarve. all so-called Dimmycrats who voted agin me. Thin 1 eject all Dimmycrats who voted fr mc but said they hated to. That laves just about enough , ' "Ye'll find Hi' light fr'm th' coal shutc fine fr readin.'" competent an pathriotic citizens to fill all th' of V&u fices. Ill take th' nominal job iv sicrety iv state jgtnj mesflf, bat IH be busy here an' there. U "'Ye'er policies ye know already. Ye've read IffljH me peeches. But th' wan thing I desire is to gUI sare ye throuble. Ye have four gr-reat years Wfil befure ye, four year.? teeming with possibili- fjjj tiee. Do not 3pind thim in thinkin' about pathron 0t age, in discussm' public questions which defy a solution, in thryin' to make new policies which can niver take th' place iv th' etarnal principles JS iv govermint first announced be th' heroes iv PHil ninety-six. No, Dock. But remote fr'm th' lg storms an' passyons iv polly ticks where I am bein - g$l tossed, spind ye'er charmin' days in some useful Kff wurruk iv lithrachoor. To show ye how much yc have been in me mind, I've aven took th' pain1; jre iv thinkin' out something fr ye to while yee'r $ hours away on, a gr-reat creative effort that will juw outlast yc an' will be r-read an' admired whin ffp Woodrow Wilson th' polljiician is no longer gl remimbered. How cud ye be betther employed thin in compilin' an immortal volume on " Th' Bur-rds an Flowers iv th' Disthrict iv Co- hM lumbya ".?. Now, let's go to breakfast. No, no; tjm I don't want to r-rcad about th' majority ye got 3SM in Ohio. Didn't I tell yc I wanted to ate break- " An' there yc ar-rc. He's back again, an' glad KmA I am to have him. As a spoortin' obsarvcr iv j pollyticka I. always like to see his kindly facc Bra J comin' through th' ropes, f r wheriver Willum jjfil I Jennings is yc may be sure iv wan thing: There's J I goin' to be a fight." mm " He's a gr-rand man an' WHson'll be his own jlH boss, an' I don't believe a wnrrud ye've been ffjn savin'' said Mr. Hennessy. tragi " Naycthcr do I," said Mr. Doolcy. " But it's j9B what I read in th' pa-apers. I like Willum Jen- Sftlfi nings, too. because he's indesthructible. Whin a tfljaffl man tells me a baseball player has gone back an' man T look at his battin' record an' sec he's hittin' m gB above .300 I know th' man is wrong. So be W:T jj H him Jennings Bryan. He's been at th' bat now 9 fr sixteen years, iver since he come out iv th' j J B minors, an's he still hittin' above three hundhcrd. jj fl He ain't much iv a run getter, but he's a powerful j B batter. If I was a Dimmycrat prisidint th' first jfi B wan Fd ast to come in an' pick his chair at th' f m big table wud be him. Xo matther how much I j m might' admire' him out iv th' house, I'd rather ffi m Jiave hjm in if th' house had windows. He's a j H gr-reat statesman, that is thruc, an' he might B make a mistake anny day an' take th' big chair 91 at tlr- head iv th' boord. But that wudden't be mc jg JM principal raison fr invitin' him to th' fam'ly drcle. It wud be that beyond all his other charm5 Wttg with a brick in his hand he's" as expert as a rifle- fl& man. An I'd rather have him close to me bosom jfrjffi thin on me back.' . i&fsi " Ye can't keep a good man down," said Mr. umBm Hennessy. a jjajB "Ye can if ye can get him down," said, Mr. fjfflB Dooley. " Bui ye can't avcn get a good man irfflfij (Copyright 19H; By Finl?y Ft?r Uunn.) I |
