| OCR Text |
Show ,Wilson, Taf(, Bryan, Roosevelt Roose-velt and Other Notables Made to Furnish Amusement Amuse-ment for Writers. AJANY SHARP HITS DURING BANQUET Shade of Thomas Jefferson Returns to Earth and Assists As-sists Miss Democracy in Search of a Mascot -T l T'ASHINGTON, Feb. .1. Prcsl-fl Prcsl-fl dent-elect Wilson, President y f Taft, Thoodoro Tioooovolt, AVil-liani AVil-liani Jennings Bryan, 'Van "Winkle "Win-kle and a lot of othor notables woro portrayed to the Gridiron dub and its fc-Uf fruosro tonight, at the annual winter din-wj din-wj T,or' cn mcn ol- national hIzo sat at Lr tho banquet board and saiv thomeolvcu iff iroTioking about to their own amuse-re amuse-re wjj menfc. fe fT Elinor t00j hc form 0f OM0 S C fcrncoCul tribulo to President Taft and S wm another to President-elect "Wilson. The v s; dub bean by having an inauguration I IB of lts 0;rn T'rcsidcnt7 ."Rudolph ICauf- 5 rat JIian' e "nnhington Bvoning Star. 1 B inaugural proccRsion, which jg fit inarched into tho banquet hall to tho 6 wa blare of a band, consisted of a dotach-- dotach-- 9S inont of tho Isetr Jersey National guard, St a club of Princeton profosaora, a con- BM finenk southern colonols, hurrahing iii4 for tho ''solid south." "nieces for vet- k ffl erann' etc.; the "TVnnta ota pio frat" ri $tf colle.RO boys, "Tammany's phalanx, ! JH tho "(Ta Bad club," including Goorgo )tiSa yt- Harvoy, Henry Watterson, Aoiguat wj Belmont and Thomas P. Ityan, and .fiu- mL ally a squad of onfirRgottes shrieking, ftt f'Votea for Women." gjj Fun Pokecl at Speaker, S5 When tho diu hnd partially subsided it teas announced in behalf of Prcsi- c ?j dent Kauffman that ho did not think much, of tho parade, an there v,-ero some m!1 things miBaing. jjft; j "WTioro," ho asked, "-wna tho i Cliamp Clnrlc Houn' Daivg club?" '; hV "Went broke, at Baltimore," was tho v I . ! -"pl&natiou. ;;;' "Wliero's the TJndonvood protection tylfi', phalanx?" S H j - "Pulled off the train by Bill Bryan L; and slapped into stoel shacklos," was (i ibe ansTver, -vrhilo "Harmon Ohio Buck- : i tcycs Trcre boing entertained at Prench Af. Iick Springs, at Tom Taggaxt's ex- rlS pense." ? I Such as it ivng, tho now prosldont :,; vas obliged to bo content with his in- J ; ' Vugnration. and rocoivod tho sacrod cm- fill' 'om ' co (Toldon gridiron, k f ; -ith tho atatoment that this "bolng an I ora of economy and reform ho would, bo f '; allowed neither salary nor traveling cx- gjj, ponses. S$ i0 Neophytes Cohie In. j '4; Hardly had the gncsts turned again j J ;l to their terrapin when entrance was dc-manded dc-manded and achiovod by the Sigb-Pi- (;;! Pi-Sigma Fraternity of tho Yalo law 1 V school, which insisted on initiating two ji j ' now members to tho club. Tho dinner j i ' was suspended for tho ceremony. The i ! neophytes wore "Mr, William of Cin-cinnatJ," Cin-cinnatJ," and ""Mr. Thoodoro of Oy- 'i l ' stor Bay,'" to bo known in the ordor respective"' as "Brother Bill," sill and "Brother Teddy." A discord in , tho band was explainod by tho iuabil- f j i ity of the neophytes to agroo on a -f Ht inarching tune; ono demanding tho t only tuno ho know, "A Hot Time in :l the Old Town Tonight," and tho other y I: wanting Keller's "H3'mn of Peace." I ijj i "Tho Grand Pi Pajandrum" ox- C I; plained that "s-p-p's" meant "stand (j 2. pat progrc3sivo society." Tho s3'mbol r 8 oi" 5al'0'' ox ,7t,n a coff'n uud l! B i fccholar's cap belov it meant "the I m ballot box is the ono peaceful bind- I 9 gcon in tho hands of tho pooplc. Ho I HI 0 s sTiR':cn ky it may eithor crawl - Ua in iis political coffiu and die at i w onco, or prolong life a littlo by going ? Iffi to cat' at 11 ui,'v'orsity." Taft and Roosevelt. V M noudc.script, doublo eudod animal, 9 v,,'tn a 'noobe head at oue end and an I 8 elephant's at the othor, replaced tho f B time honored goat that both candidatoi fl should bo able to ride at onco. AVhen ft j it broke down under their combined Ml. weight, Thoodoro dcfiautlv declared j That, thout-h ho "couldn't run this I H darn thing, by Godfrey, I smashed it! "! j -while William "backed himsolf against ft l tho world for a good loser.'" Ju it tho struggln the wigs and false mus- taches becoming displaced, revealed'' tho J jjj features of the two new candidates for iif gjt admissioii to the club, John E. Moul:, H of the St, Paul JDispnlrh and John V. S tjj fiavit, of tho Now York Evcniug Post. 'a 2cxt, Prcsidont-elcct Wilson was dis- 3 covered conducting his first cnbinol ij fjt council on tho linoa of a faculty meot- h', lit. ing and calling upon a member "for his Zi fl ''thcais." Jt 60011 appeared that alt t; i tho cabinet officers from tho Fccrotnry i of state to tno atwrner general bore jj M 1ho features of William J. Uryan. It, There woro nine in all, around the "cab- rf inc' board. If A "Where is my cabinet?" queried tho I ' :j president. a' "Ho will soon bo here," replied his 1 J fecrotary. "lief 1'ou moan they. For that ! i error oZ grammar you will trauslato flvo extra pages of Homer,'" rotortcd Mr. Wilson. Bomindod that ho had: ncvov before attondod a cabinet mooting, Secretary ol! Stato Bryan admitted that ho had not, but added, "I havo mado three attempts at it." Secretary of Stato Bryan declared ho had not had a financial idea since 1S96. Secrotary of War Bryan declared ho was not Mr. Wilson's secretary of war, but his own socrctarv, that- ho was not in Mr. Wilson's Wil-son's cabinet, but was his cabinet. Secretary Sec-retary of tho Navy Bryan favored no inoro battleships until Lincoln, Neb., becamo a seaport. Attorney General Bryan, residuary legatee of "400 incompleted incom-pleted trust prosocutions, declared his trust policy to bo "to bust those we can't tru.it, and trust thoso wo can't bur.t," and explained that when a trust was reorganized "tho small stockholders stockhold-ers lose theirs quicker." Trouble for Wilson. I Tho real troublo began whoa President Pres-ident Wilson undertook to frame his message, as tho Bryan cabinot insisted on relieving him. ' Mauy good topics woro declnrod to bo reserved for lour years, such as Philippine independence, government ownership of telographs. ponny postage, etc. But tho cabinot agrocd that for present consideration it might tako up the protection of the ; I fur seal, tho abolition of the turkey trot at inaugural balls, civil service reform and tho rulo of "tho people." And "as tho cabinet meeting broko up each member lft in tho 'president's hand a littlo memorandum to ihis effect: ef-fect: "The thing to bear down on hard is onc-four-year-tenn for tho president of tho United Slates. " Miss Democracy ennio to tho dinner in search of a mascot, which afforded tho musical members of tho Gridiron club an opportunity to revive tho comic opera of that numo as a vehicle for a parody on tho political situation. Thomas .lefforson 's e-hado returning to earth to ascertain how tho "party grwat" which ho fathered had improved undertook to assipfc l.ho maid In her search, and tho result was a flood of mascots. Tariff Reform Refrain. Pirst came M'iss Tariff Bct'orm, with a toy r.hocpt described by Jefferson as "schedule K," which though just now a Iamb, soon would bo mado a goal. Sang Mass Tariff: I feel qulto approhenalvei. That boforo Tni rcduocd. Somoono with tasto oxpensivu Will mark mo for a boost. Othor mascots camo in order: "Miss Filipino Independence." "Misg Investigation," who boliovod tho nation needed watching; "Initiative" and "Missj lUff-JRafforndum," who thought "things right side up at pros-ent pros-ent should bo turned upside down." Last and most impressive was "Professor "Profes-sor Highor Education" on a tricyole, who with Miss Democracy sang tho famous fa-mous "Oobblo Dust," tHo rofraiu running: run-ning: ,rOflce! Officoi Officel" "Bah," otc An entertaining foaturo of the dinner din-ner was a reproduction of "statuary hall," which disclosed, through tho agency of a loud-voiced lecturer, such nki'.ttio. treasures as former Senator Bailey, Bopuroseutativo Ollio James, William J. Bryan and others. Present for Taft An incidcuL to the drinking of the single toast of tho annual clinnor of tho Gridiron olub tonight tho Pros-idont Pros-idont of tho United. States was tho bestowal upon President Taft of tho largo gold gridiron bearing thus inscription, inscrip-tion, "To William Howard Taft, president pres-ident of tho United States, as a token of friendship from tho Gridiron club of Washington. February 1, 10.18." Included in tho guost list woro tho Gormun embassador, tho Siamese minister, min-ister, six members of tho cabinot, tho president pro-loiu of tho senato, tho speaker ot tho house and very many senators? aud. representatives, while among tho out-of-town guests wero tho following: Felix Agnus, Baltimore American; Henry J. Allen. Kansas City Star-; Charles II. Boyuton, Now York; Rear Admiral Goorgo W. Baird; Edwin II. Butt, Iiverpool, England; Bobort A. Brown, Birmingham, Ala.; John B. Crown, Baltimoro Sun; Cyrus K. Our-tio, Our-tio, Philadelphia; Frank H. Clarko, Cleveland; J. M. Deponsi, Baltimoro Star; J. W. Farlov, Boston Horald; John Ford, Now York; Kobert M. Gin-tor, Gin-tor, Pittobn'rg Gazottc-Timoa; Daniol Guggonhelm, Jixow York; J. C. Hemphill. Hemp-hill. Now York Times; Kin Hubbard, IndiaaapoliB News; Edmund M. Huyck, Albany; Leonard Idebling, New York Musical Oourior; Frank O. Lowdon, Ohicago; Collector William Loeb, New York; John McCutcheon, Ohicago Tribune; Trib-une; Carlos K. McClatchy, Sacramento, .Oal.; Thomaa 0. Marvin, tho Protectionist, Protection-ist, Boston; James S. Montague, Now York American.; Honry T. Oxnard, Omaha; William J. Oliver, Knoxvillo, Tenn.; Edwin G. Tipp, Detroit News; Judge John C. Hose, Baltimore; John A. .Stoi3hor, Now York; William H. Snif, Pittsburg; J. W. M. Stoddard. Baltimore Balti-more American; Dolavan Smith, Indianapolis In-dianapolis News; Charlos Scribnor, Nov York; Jauios Speyor Now York: Frank B. Noyca Washington, D. C; Molvillo E. Slouo, Now York; Gdorgo Turner, intornatinl joint commission; Frank A. Vandorlip, Now York; WalkGr W. Vide, secrotary inaugural commil.too; Oswald Garrison Willard, Now York Evening Post; Arthur Villort, London Times; James T. Williams. Boston Transcript, and B. A, Wade, San Francisco. |
