Show DOOLEY AND HIS DUST Chicago Evening Post Mr Dooley was bent over a little leathercovered book when Mr Hennessy came in and I he was muttering to himself Sivin I an six 13put down three an carry I wan eight an four is 12 plus wan is 113 put down all iv it Wan hundred an thirtythree Myah tis harrd wurruk rrunnin th finances iv a large business What arre ye doln said Mr Hen nessy Ive opined a bank account said Mr Dooley with pride an Im goin to close it tomorrah I had twinty dollars in a savins bank wanst said Mr Hennessy an it bust up > Th thief that rrun th bank carried it over to Europe with him an spint it on wine women an song MaY th wine pizen him th women bate him an th song break th drums iv his ear If ye had a wifej ye wuddent put yeer money in a bank Ye wuddent be let Th good woman keeps mine in a pocket that Spike Hinnissy cuddent find his way to Anny wan that robs mell have to steal her tooan hell have none th best iv it Yeer speakin th truth said Mr Dooley Ive always kept what little change I had Ill not tell ye where Hinnissy I thrust ye but ye might walk in yeer sleep Twas Father Kelly put me up to takin it to th bank He says says he Th best thing that can happen to a man is to soak away th rolyboly It makes him careful he says an him an me wint down to th Tinth Naytional bank where he has a friend He took me up to laadan wan that didnt look any too square at thatan says he This is me frind Misther Dooley he says Hes anxious to make a deposit in yeer bank Very well says the laad with his nose in th air Write yeer name down In this here book he says What fr says I Ive been mighty suspicious iv signin me name to annything since I signed a petition fr a rayform candydate fr alderman when I thought I was askin to lave a man out iv tL pinitinchry We want to know yeer signature says he For why says I Sign yeer name said Father Kelly Its all right So I signed me name an he give me this here little book an wan iv them check books an sent me acrost to where there was a bit av a boy behind th bars Well says th kid wheres th money th money yere goin to deposit de-posit he says An whats it to ye says L I want it says he 4 Do ye says I Well if ye think ye can git It come out an thry says I If me eyes dont deceive me tis wantin peoples money thats put ye in I that there cage J says Do ye want to make a deposit says he I do says I Thin give me th money he saysDivvle Divvle a cint says I I dont like yere looks I cant thrust ye I wurrked hard fr this money playin fortyfives an Ill put it nowhere but in an iron safe says I Be this time Father Kelly come up I an says he Foolish man give him yere money An I give it to th kid Dye believe it Hinnissy he thrun it I on one side as though twas an or shirt shirtBe Be careful says I yell break it Man alive dont ye know no more thin to be handlin good stuff like pig iron But Father Kelly dhragged mea me-a wa waI I was hrlf a mind to jump off th caar an go back an dhraw it out Thin I though Id write to me frind Jawn Are Ive bought his paper fr years off an on whin it was Dimmy cratic I wisht I had it now This mornin Dorsey th plumber come in fr a little bill I was owin him How much is it says I Five dollars says he I set down an wrote out a check th way Father Kelly showed me an tossed toss-ed it to him I Whats this says he I A check says I fr five bucks on th Tinth Naytional bank where I keep I me capital Look here says he I didnt fix I no catchbasin an no beer pump fr th Tinth Naytional bank he says I done it fr you an I want yeer money I My good sir says I that check is I as good as money an even betther I says Behind it says I is not only I me own capital but th entire capital includin money lint on Alley L stock I iv th Tinth Naytional Bank says I I I had the facts frm th good maan i More than that says I th whole j I governmint iv th United States is behind I be-hind it 1 says Th arrmy an navy I an th park polis will fight fr that I check I says McKinley was elected I to make that check good I says I I dont care aa cloth frwipin jints he says 1 voted fr Bryan an I X want money an bedad I had to give it to him Well sir I timed that there check I on five diffrent men au neer a wan iv thim wud take it Th last wan was I OConnor th butcher What is it says he A check says ISo I I-So it is says he So it is An avery I a-very purty wan too Whered ye git it I made it says I Did ye so says he Well ye dhraw well What arre ye goin to do with it I want ye to take it again that bill ye sint me What says he I told him agin Faith sayshe ye must think Im crazy I can buy a pitcher tin times as big as that fr three dollars he says Well sir wud ye believe it theyve had the story round that Martin Mar-tin Dooleys gone daft an is up an down the road thryin to pass off apiece a-piece of green paper as money Th loot was In to see if I was vilent just before ye came I havent had a cint iv money all day except what little I took in an yesterday I was fair rowl in in wealth What will I do about it Get it out iv the bank said Mr Hennessy eagerly i Ill go down an give that kid a talk an do you sneak th roll Well safd Mr Dooley Im goin tQ see Father Kelly I hope he aint in on th play |