| Show ENOUGH TO MAKE HIM FUNT One Landlady Who Gavo Her Boarders White Meat Madam he said rising deferentially deferen-tially as the landlady entered the parlor par-lor I havea matter of considerable importance to lay before you very briefly Book agent she inquired I do not even read books much less sell them he replied with dignity I have called to explain to you one of the most important inventions of the age Yes I know about it already she interrupted patent icecream freezer You put the cream in a hopper and the machine does the rest Young man I dont want it Nothing of the kind madam Mebbe youre selling soap Some new kind that costs less and lasts longer We aint buying soap today You ala wrong protested the visitor visi-tor as soon as he was able to get in a word Permit me to ask you a question ques-tion Do you use much poultry Much poultry almost screamed the landlady With nine boarders thats swore off all meat except poultry poul-try for lent and all the rest hungry enough to swallow horn buttons reckon I do use poultry Im nearly crazy with the chicken bill Thats it thats it said the visitor visi-tor rubbing his hands with satisfaction satisfac-tion Same story everywhere madam and just to save you that expense I have called to explain a remarkable invention of mine I have here samples sam-ples of my artificial leg and wing bones of chickens ducks and turkeys These imitation bones are made of gutta percha so hardened that heat does not affect them Each bone is accompanied by a tin mold and like all great inventions the process is very simple You place the bone in this slot in the mold pack any kind of inexpensive meat such as pork or veal tightly about the bone close to the mold and bake in a hot oven You then carefully remove the mold serve with dressing and not one of your boarders will detect the imposition How about the white meatasked the landlady The visitor laughed harshly No boarder he said ever received any portion of a chicken but the legs and wings It would excite suspicion to supply anything else Madam he added you see the magnitude of this invention Shall I leave you a dozen legs and a dozen wings on trial They would be useless to me said the landlady quietly Hey I serve my boarders nothing but the white meat of fowls The visitor looked stunned What do you do with the legs and wings he faltered Throw them away For a moment there was silence In the room A smile of triumph lurked on the landladys face She did not move And then the visitor slowly arose and moved toward the door His face was drawn and haggard Pardon me he said in broken tones for detaining you madam fact is II think I faintedNew York Tribune |
