| Show MUSTERS WIVES I I Their Place in the Parish and Their Qualifications PASTORS WIFES OPPORTUNITIES Opinions From Dr Talmage Mrs Henry Ward Beecher and Mrs Theodore Theo-dore L Cuyler NEW YORK March 61891 Special correspondence cor-respondence of THE HERALD Tho Rev Dr Talmage sat in his study the other evening even-ing his eyes fixed quizzically on a bronze boy of Egyptian aspect who stood patiently in the doorway carrying candles I used to read he said Cia good deal of literature on the subject of ministers wives 1 I wish my wifewouldtell you how untrue un-true were all those stories of pulling and hauling of constant demands of faultfinding faultfind-ing Congregations as a rule are composed of ladies gentlemen who make the position posi-tion of the ministers wife an especially pleasant one My wife knows df hundreds yes of thousands of ministers wives all happy all honored The place a pastors wifeshould take in the congregation depends on herself Her call may be to her husbands flock orit maybe may-be simply to the things of her household This is a matter for her own decision The qualification she needs especially is common sense for she may be a great hindrance hin-drance to her husbands work or a strong reinforcement When one has a glimpse of the experiences experi-ences the chances for observation responsibilities re-sponsibilities and the opportunities that come to such a woman as Mrs Lyman Abbott Ab-bott the wife of the pastor of Plymouth church one hesitates over the question how much one is justified in making known For Mrs Abbott lives Tn her home If I A I i K jr1y5acJ1iL I J e MRS LTMAN AUBOTT my children she says felt themselves defrauded or my husband wished it otherwise other-wise even if my judgment did not agree withtheirs I could not go outside In the early days of their married life Mr Abbott was a lawyer and Mrs Abbott studied his cases with him copied legal papers and absorbed herself in his labors When he felt himself drawn to the ministry minis-try still her thought was to forward his undertakings So it has been during the years given to the pulpit and to editorial duties I know of demands II she says made on a ministers wife but I see privileges A pastor must be in some sense a leader and his wife too can do much in the service ser-vice ofhumanity Theres a good deal of talk against the churches but much of that comes from people peo-ple who dont know what the churches are doing I would like to see a church so organized that every woman on becoming a member should be asked at once on what committee she could give much or a little time Then once a year there might be a grand rallying day with accounts of things done Plymouth church has its mission churches the Mayflower and the Bethel and it is a constant pleasure to watch the transformation of women who come in with shawls over their heads poor discouraged dis-couraged Then there are the two working girls clubs with their educating influences The little girls of the junior club sew and cook and one day not long ago when they sent me a box with a beautiful biscuit and a piece of pie and some cake and a great variety of things all daintily made in the cramped quarters of their own homos v Then there is the Young Womans League They have made towels for the gymnasium bringing the young men of the church into sympathetic relations with its cultivated young women Last summer they sent a trunkf of linen to the Holiday house of the working giris We read ton to-n 4 hn ThHnh PH HHln nn Scuc II vu uvJ g u ueiu UJ of The honest stitcher on the under side for I wanted the things made fine and neat for girls whose low wages often press them to think more of dress than of underwear Then there are the boys and girls classes The boys are making picture screens for the hospitals and the girls make covers for the bare bureau tops in the rooms of the colored girls and the Indians at Hampton institute They are helping to educate an Indian boy and an orphan in IndiaThere There is the Sunday school teaching There must be nearly 250 teachers I have the infant class Then there are the broader charities of the city which want the pastors name and his wifes sympathy Ono could give ones life in each 01 so many directions The needs that force themselves on ones attention would discourage and overwhelm did not help and sympathy also appear at every turn Money sometimes is sent me anonymously articles of clothing have been left at the door and if one sees necessities ono also sees how many stand ready to relieve them P27 Ji MRS BEECHER So strangely near does a woman like Mrs Abbottmand to the trials the joys and the sorrows that make up the daily lives of other people Of the Ladies Society of Plymouth church Mrs Henry Ward Beecher is president and on rainy afternoons after-noons the members spare her the labor of going out by gathering the parlors of her home in Orange street flowerdecked and vocal with bird songs The work of a pastors wife said Mrs Beecher must differ widely in different cases Some ministers believe their wives i can aid them most efficiently by giving them quietand restful homes others like I to see their wives active also in parish duties In my own case five of my seven brothers broth-ers became ministers and a sister married l I a minister so that before my marriage I understood the lifel was entering on made it my first effortto spare Mr Beechers time by attending to his correspondence corres-pondence and to financial matters Our desks stood in adjoining windows and it was only with the most important letters that I troubled him Some of these he answered an-swered on others he would write four or five words as a guide to me Tho checks for his salary were made payable to me and if he wanted money he came to me for it except that heretained the proceeds of his lectures making himself a fund of spending money I saw all callers who came to the house so many of them only curiosity seekers When he was in the house I never left it and so his energies were not drawn on except ex-cept in cases ot importance and urgency I was not able to do in addition a great amount of parish visiting though I did what was nossible In my early married life I was to lead the female prayer meeting meet-ing but it was very hard for me and I did not continue I It was in the war days that we were lifted out of ourselves completely I remember re-member the dispatch tha came to us one at Peekskill where Mr Beecher was recuperating recu-perating from hay fever saying that his bo sthc Brooklyn phalanx and the other regiments at Fort Schuyler were without food and without clothes I dame down to the city immediately and crossed to Fort Schnyler to see the condition condi-tion of things I wouldnt think of being pulled across the narrows in a row boat now but then one hadnt time to think of being afraid Then I went about to the bakers for their stale loaves and with an express wagon to the shops for mattresses and blankets and but I cant talk about ministers wives If I had thought the reminiscences I have been writing would have taken me back through so many years of my life I could not have begun them and Mrs Beechers face beneath her white hair became thoughtful The wife of the Rev OJ Dr Theodore L Cuyler whose influence through his books has been worldwide believes that the work of the ministers wife can be done most gently and efficiently in her own home MRS BEECHER CROSSING THE NARROWS A minister she says sometimes marries mar-ries before he fixes on his profession and usually marries to suit himself rather than his congregation If his wife makes him happy in his home and leaves him as free as possible pursue his work untrammeled she aids him most effectually What ever she can do outside of this in helpful work it is her duty and privilege to do as it is that of any other Christian woman < When some of his parishioners asked me for my portrait for a memorial they were designing in commemorationof Mr Cuylers thirty years pastorate I declined giving il on the ground that Ihad not done any pastorial duty Why they said you have been our sister and friend A ministers minis-ters wife should know her husbands parishioners par-ishioners by name and visit all who need her In a large city parish to do more than this is not possible The Rev Dr Meredith well known for his expositions of the International Sunday school lessons has a wife who places first among a ministers wifes qualifications tact and the ability to hold ones tongue I have been a ministers daughter she says all my life and a ministers wife for twentyseven years and I speak from experience ex-perience It is the ministers wives who see the social side of their husbands churches of I whom men and women alike make confidantes confi-dantes who must perforce have wide experience ex-perience thrust upon them and to whom I the country over are carried a large share of humanitys troubles ELIZA PDTNAN HEATON I |
