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Show 1'ffl! This Is the Army! (A contribution by the all-soldier east of Irving Berlin's great hit show at the Broaduay theater for the army emergency emer-gency fund.) When one of the boys gave his regimental pin to a girl she demanded demand-ed to know what the motto "Volens et Potens" meant ... He explained: ex-plained: "Willing and able" . . . She returned it pronto . . . The 33rd Armored Regiment at Camp Polk call their tanks "Hitler Hearses" . . . The Yank of 1942 isn't called a doughboy . . . He's "Red Legs" . . . There's a 50-Year-Old Club at Camp Roberts. The men in it are over 50 all volunteers volun-teers since Pearl Harbor going in as buck privates, although many were former officers and non-coms. Soldiers purchase lots of fingernail finger-nail polish but not for their nails ... It keeps their buttons shiny and is the perfect remedy for chig-ger chig-ger bites ... At the Indio Desert training center the lads are often rationed only one gallon of water' daily for all purposes, including drinking, washing, bathing. To condition con-dition them for the real thing. Contrary to popular legend, it is against Army regulations to give a soldier K. P. duty as punishment ... At Camp Barkeley the chap who instructs in the art of jiu-jitsu is Harry Morimoto, an American-Japanese American-Japanese ... In the Army nurses are known as Snow-whites . . . Soldiers Sol-diers insist that uniforms come in only two sizes too large and too small. Personal checks cannot be cashed In the Army without the company commander's okay , . . When Paul, the son of the late financier, Andrew Mellon, went to the c. o. at Fort Riley to get approval for a $100 check, the c. o. said: "This is a pretty big check for a private to write. How do I know it is good?" . . . "It oughta be," said Paul. "I own the controlling interest in the bank." The Indians have supplied more volunteers to the Army than any other racial group . . . When they first learned of selective service they came to register with their own weapons . . . The average soldier drinks four cups of coffee a day . . . G. W.. who fathers the "Our Fighting Fight-ing Men" dep't in Collier's, calls the U. S. Armored Division the Anzers . . . Because they are the answers to Hitler's Panzers ... A Jeep is also a nickname for a rookie. Field Marshal Herman Goering's kin is Werner George Goering of the U. S. Army . . . Can't wait, he says, to drop a bomb on his relative rela-tive ... In our Army a private can prefer charges against a Colonel, and if a corporal sees a captain conducting con-ducting himself in a manner "unbecoming "un-becoming an officer and gentleman" he can have him put in the guardhouse guard-house . . . The name for woolen underwear is "superman drawers." When a private at Randolph Field comes to a non-com with a complaint com-plaint he is handed a mourning-bordered card which says: "Your trials and tribulations have broken my heart They are unique. I have never nev-er heard of anything like them before. be-fore. As proof of my deepest sympathy, sym-pathy, I give you this card which entitles you to one hour of condolence." condo-lence." Fort Riley's newspaper, The Guidon, has an advice-to-the-love-lorn column. "Betty Lou" signs it. Betty Lou is the nom de plume for a pair of privates . . . For every fighting man in the Army there must be five other soldiers to feed, clothe and supply him . . . Unless a rookie is smart, he can be trapped into volunteering for unpopular chores. The big gag in the Army concerns the sgt. who approached a bunch of men at play and asked them if any were good at shorthand ... A dozen newcomers, angling for soft snaps, eagerly stepped forward for-ward . . . "Fine," said the sarge, "report to the kitchen, we're short of K.P.s!" . . . The phone number of the Negro Enlisted Men's Service Club at Camp Bowie is, oddly enough 711. Army men always titter derisively when in the movies a sentry says-"Halt! says-"Halt! Who Goes There?" The correct challenge is: "Halt! Who's There?" ... A letter from a girl is called "a sugar report" There's no favoritism in the Army . . . Even chaplains must undergo five weeks of training at Fort Benjamin Ben-jamin Harrison, Indiana. Soldiers do not rate preferred treatment over civilians. They cannot can-not buy shaving cream or toothpaste at their post exchanges without turning turn-ing in a used tube ... At Camp Davis the mimeographed directive given to men in the 96th Coast Artillery Artil-lery (for handling of the wire cable winch on army trucks) warns that the apparatus is "as temperamental as Greta Garbo, and treating it carelessly care-lessly is like asking Lana Turner to scrub the kitchen floor" ... The men treat it with great affection and care. |