Show STUDENT LIES LITTLE ijHollywood Star js R M of th$ Memll Ed-vn- ne ax f'j y Hi ($ Buzzer Baiter f p5 litnaiy ' Spot At College Befoie gUn g out with a legitimate anecdote we Iteard alvout an interesting couple the Jut 'anpoiniod to r'plir Pi tkl n'hI- llP duo question being Duane Chadwick and wife the former Pat Daynes M head oi the com They happen to tie landlord and lady' at Ilall The first time Pat met Ltuane so meice department is Piulo limner j Dimbleby unsung hero of tli the stoiy got he was wealing a spiffy outfit of quite mililaiy apcarance cm kioach and Angie "Gee what a beautiful unifoim” Pat remarked k at all that Gold Braid Do you bug juice committee Dunblohy command the Naval Base or something Admiral? liiu will lememhci was the on caused an much tucku about "Gosh no" blushed Duane "I'm no Admiral just a liellhop at the Ecclea Hotel in Bogan" who he Buzi a tew day ago "Then what do those six gold st rijies on your sleeve represent'’ Pat asked” "years of service?" lie posed for hi Buzzer pirtut Then came the quick reply "No chambermaids I'e trapped in the linen closet” it f collin' and fancy in a wig and lias hinted he will u glasses Top Joke the publications committee If the With still a little room left we pay allegiance to the top joke contribution of the week pictuie is not used lie 1ms offeied no explanation foi his action going thuslv A young lady and her aunt returning home from work on pay day were “I gav them my buck thirty man The young lady rushed over to the nearest policerelieved of their money by a slick-u- p man and exclaimed: "I've leen lobbed of my pay and my aunt's pay” and tell me what hapjiened" the copper oi derod "Cut out the pig Now I he tmit s mentioned eaiher is heie a lot of comment tioni boiii Not to be outdone by a woman we called on Leap Year lau-c- s a continued bachelor aexe evciv das We made up oui mind to ti Major Anker C pe(l-i-some (letfiom the Militaiy depaitmenl lieu- ate hi ! to crsstaSie ttie situation by gelling - o n Hit first ire forthcoming M ' d hu resignation Iroin ttie taculnew posi-to- n tv to accept a initiative in Hiltjwmid lie is to nerve Cl ii ttand-i- tor Kdwaid thatRubin d un Dr Merrill teports Arnold had also made a imilar otter to him but that grbinson'i of in was mine Ui ac1 PURPLE well time to the-- e lows ami lows of Owe a type for another brief escapade Into the woikl of liteiatuie Iniinottal prose is In for a lejuwnitiott dm ini' tliis episode of "Pansiex" Two piumim-nauliois o no little note aie due to gtaoe this column with iwme writing de- luxe later on Right we dedicate outsehes to filling the rest of the (space with some fine jokes gags and juks filched from the pages of sevetal thousand volumes in the Utah n n I Queen Hendrix JommerceDean For o Stand-I! 1952 — 1 by J& IMoicummen-fhasnnoun- APRIL ill be In piudtirtion "The Third Flour" a munlei systery thriller of intnque on a college Robinson felt that aiiipus Mr box-eld- I i Inite ideas on ttie subject Oui polo s is ludn - fii-- t Thuinles males is the Follow mg i eelen-eeeli uist i uef n par id hei untoueied mPnuscnpt of iuii men Mid Madam ‘Yoa B'C'd a date two uck in advanie and a f mi mile vou'i e sag' i to dan- him ' Sou m date sou'ie (1 sMl ale You’lc leads’ (ll lone Ins minutes lute car hie i k s dosn and in's toits-lis- " you'ie a few minules fat he's deeded to come earls and made an evening of It at and "Toil k how Ins fiateimty btothci vou’i e snoops 'u don t ask you think yuiio- n better than they am You ssaii im him to op doot and he thinks you'te siiiy sou sumg out Dr MeriiH is eminently qualified when-yoej (e by youisotf you'te uncouth to assist him in this tole ssant to go you'ie a donuin-e- ing snuiien ss hei e y ou go When questioned as to what say sweetly tliit sou don't caie hase no oiiginulus mad him decide to forsake hia "Wiieii you attise at the pans you sm'ie at Ins college career Dean Merrill indifraternity brothers- and you'ie a lint: you altignote evesnob You (luu ssitii him cated that he ha been an un- them you’ie of rus one with dune e vou'i unpopulat happy woiri-- d and frustrated man ning huit line someone pllfeied his lectur-li- g brotheis Ie' Party I'onper te-like ten lypencil Ktfoils of the college "He get- - a headache and doe-n- 't insisted he go officials to get him to remain ing If your fault becau-- e Sou lion" lie Hunks You suggest going have been to no avail Another out tonight a good tune sou don't mention to the you'ie not basing good man has succumbed at L'ali leaving sou'ie tne mo-- t thoiighiless gill lure of the movie capital State "You hi— hint goodnight and he thinks youie to get you lefu-- e you'ie a pi tide He tells easy know in tlmt Fraternity Frank: Do you nis biotiui- - so and you never date anyone dal- - again lour the aecret of popularity? house aguu 111 tact you semn you point you mil to the Soiotitv Sal: Yes but mother koioiiH to he alumni a- - itie hill’d dele special Toil livek aaid I shouldn't So u an old nmd with canaries and (at i' ‘I( I Hiu next timo mi KKAIIA WANT A DATE IIIIS WLHKlNI ?" "How do you do? I'm an lememb-you ni-dancer'' man " "Shake ” so defending ta-- a-- tie-ca- i l -s mu-ve- an-u'- l PAPERTOWEL-DRYIN- mai ks (twi-nd-I- G' JOB FALLS TO WATTERS if Bachelor Bark foi a date two weeks ago and sou’ie a sin ki : you call a we k ahead she's bus You aii'se at Imr bouse lise minutes early she Hulls minutes late you anise fise miimtis late lie's i n wading on tlir poich foi halt an lioui Ymi speak to one of her fnend- - you'ie a flnt don’t spea k and you'ie a snob You open the car dooi you'ie living to look at hei legs sou fail to open it sou'ie not a gentleman u here she wants to go ti(k you'ie k "You thoughtless foi not basing made plan- - you fell Ini you'ie taking hei to your fiateimty house ate for not he Hunks you'ie ineon-idwheie site wants to go “Aftei aiming at Hie party she starts a sslli some of your pals You don't in cate about hei you leiiupt site think you don't intcnupt you'ie a jealous fool Pledge Plot You "A pledge spills a coke on her dres base known he ssas going to do that You base known Hie pledge all of three day and knew I" was a elum-- oal so why didn't you wain her about him? ft' a'l your fault you've ruined Ivr evening You take her home but you should base known it lie didn't "You tiy to kis her goodnight and he slap you he You don't try to kis hei for being insulted You've been a blundeiing idiot all night You've you don't know how to handle womennever call 'ruined ymnself with this gill So you Bga'n and h" hale you nune than esei The fust thing you know it' all over the campus wluit a ‘ocial dud you are Your fiateimty kicks dissou out and you'ie fmeed to lease chool in place So k tout wit the next time you pick upthe phone "IS THIS CALL RKAILY Mit'IiSSAI'Y?"because you never can tell about ss oman ” ' Ymi telephone b'-- -- a-- ei -- y nn-a- n -- lu-- a-- - P II DIMBILBY five" Dimblehy that' enough" PH giowled” I and In piotesting the four-eye- d fellow' action the publication committee said that It I contrary to Buzzer policy to Ue photo of attired In apparel tbey student do not normally wear Dimbleby who i aerving a hi own lawyer in the case disagieed "You aeetn to aibiirarlly take the position that no pictuie ran be published in our yearbook if person photographed ha any attire or accessory which he doe weat” he said not alw-aAlthough the publication com tnittee is seeking legal advice id the mutter obietvei close to th scene have expressed doubt that Dimbleby seriously intend to sue To force any publication to pubs lish mqjeliai it doe not wish to accept i in violation of freedom of the pt ess It wn pointed out Hurry! 225 Shopping Days Left MM0NR0E DAGMAR Plus 14 Hours 25 Minutes And 21'h Seconds GET BOOK SHOP JOBS "Diy up Watters!” With this admonition from the Boaid of TiusteRay Wat tei Chief potentate of the Phys Fd Department has taken over the job of diteiting the g Paper Division measure A one of the College’ new economy It i this new department has been established saved expected that approximately $630017 will annually This i to be accomplished by an initial expenditure of $3200 for the special w tinging appaiatu with it appm tenance This equipment i being established In the swimming pool which e ha been permanently diained for thi puipo-- Now fully ot gnniz"d with a membership of members the Eeno chapter of Inter unpuid-itit iuegular meetcollegiate (or Idle) Kiljoy held Inner Sanctum Club Btoik ing last night in the were Grundy "Put alumber party Presiding at the like to" aute "Id Gardner Duke” Doyle Your up Pendleton Tanner and Kied Timpy" the nntoiioua men present weie Haskell Asked to comment on hi new appointment nid "Ah Watters with his typical modesty simply ahux it ain’t nothin' all the deseive staff my on tap (23c Top Hem of monkey buslnes of Marilyn Intel wa Dagmar the viewing gallon) Monroe and Sally Rand for future employment in the I'xed Book Exchange One rabid Kiljoy waa err down beard to temai k "We'll be looking up to them for help?" Towel-Dryin- ! credit" notatorium ts to be contiuctcd behind Hall to take care of tho numerous swimming A new Clause p Aniorg Gen "Golly I feel" Jolly Harold "Stinky" Stanger "Glad "Passionate Pastor” Farnsworth Jcny no Howell" McBiide and Glen "Star Spangled lew" Banner |